The Annotated Guide to Gilmore girls

>_TEASER_<

INT. BOUTIQUE CHANGING ROOM - DAY

Lorelai and Rory shopping for an interview suit for Rory. Rory is in the dressing room.

LORELAI
Oh, Moonpies.

RORY (O.S)
What?

LORELAI
It's a wonderful part of a road trip, the stopping for Moonpies.

RORY (O.S)
Mom, I want to go. I can't.

LORELAI
I know. I know. End of semester -- lots of work.

RORY (O.S)
Not lots -- tons. I'm sorry.

LORELAI
Yeah, yeah. It's just...

RORY (O.S)
What "it's just"?

LORELAI
Well, it's just, you know, a shame to miss the wedding of a woman who meant so much to you.

Rory comes out of the dressing room.

RORY
Mom, I talked to Mia. I apologized profusely. I told her it was simply impossible for me to drop everything right now and go to North Carolina. 

Rory looks at the outfit.

RORY
No, right?

LORELAI
No.

RORY
Yeah. She totally understood.

Rory goes back into the dressing room.

LORELAI
Well, of course, she understood. She understood when I was 17 and I arrived at the inn, holding a little, tiny baby in my arms, and rain was pouring down.

RORY (O.S.)
As long as you're not milking this.

LORELAI
And she understood when you broke that teacup of hers, what was that the Wnglish rose pattern when you were 4.

RORY (O.S.)
Okay, mom.

LORELAI
Yeah, I think that was an antique, wasn't it? But, oh, she understood.

RORY (O.S.)
Hello. Statute of limitations.

LORELAI
You know why? Because she is an understanding, kind, and loving woman who loves you.

Rory comes out in another outfit.

LORELAI
That's cute.

RORY
Yeah?

LORELAI
Yeah.

RORY
I don't know if "cute" is what I'm going for on an interview for a newspaper, but.

LORELAI
Worked for Brenda Starr. Worked for Lois Lane.

RORY
Ah so if I get a job as a journalist in a comic strip, this is the one.

LORELAI
Oh, do you remember when we used to do road trips you know when you were little, and we'd play "I spy"?

RORY
Yeah.

LORELAI
And you'd say, "I spy something with four wheels." And I'd be like, "is it a cow?" Dah, 'Cause that's funny and fun.

RORY
Mom.

LORELAI
Road trips are so fun.

RORY
They are, but I don't feel like I can go, especially with Logan freaking out on me. I mean he's running off to Vegas, coming home drunk, giving me attitude, not calling his dad back.

LORELAI
Still?

RORY
Yes, and while I'm mad at him, because he's acting this way, I just feel like maybe he's really going through something and I should be there for him.

LORELAI
Oh, honey, I get it. I really do. You know, I want to take back the "cute." That's really growing on me. It's very you.

RORY
Really?

LORELAI
Yeah, it's very grown-up. It reeks of gravitas. It screams New York Times.

RORY
Well, I need it to say more than that. I mean I'm hoping to hear from The San Francisco Chronicle, The Seattle Times, The Detroit Free Press.

LORELAI
Well honey, you can't ask one suit to say so much. You know why don't you just get the suit that says something local?

RORY
Mm-hmm.

LORELAI
'Cause you know those other cities are so far away, so expensive, so tiring.

RORY
I know.

Rory goes back into the dressing room.

LORELAI
And plus you know you can get a good cup of coffee in New York. I don't know about those other cities. They have crappy crappy coffee.

RORY (O.S)
You mean like Seattle?

LORELAI
Mm-hmm. Oh! Waffle ranch.

RORY (O.S)
Missing the connection.

LORELAI
Gosh, I drove through North Carolina once, and they have the most wonderful chain called "Waffle Ranch."

RORY (O.S)
Mum, it's not so much about the road-trip food.

LORELAI
Waffle ranch kicks IHOP'S butt.

RORY (O.S)
Hey how come you weren't so desperate to have me come along when we got the invitation, two months ago?

LORELAI
Well because two months ago, I knew you would play the homework card, so I planned to do this with your dad -- just him and me.

RORY
Oh, I'm sorry.

LORELAI
(sighs)
Are you sorry enough to make it up to me by going with me?

RORY
I really wish I could.

LORELAI
Oh. Hey, that's a winner.

RORY
Really?

LORELAI
Yeah, I really think you could stun them in any newspaper interview.

RORY
It is a stunning suit, isn't it?

LORELAI
Yep, it sure is. You know they might like you so much that they take your picture and put it in the insert for the Macy's one day sale.

RORY
You really like it?

LORELAI
I really do. But you shouldn't take my word for it. You need a group, a consensus. And you know where there would be a great group is at Mia's wedding.

RORY
Nice try.

LORELAI
Oh, god.

>_END OF SHOW_<

===

INT. NEW YORK: LOGAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

Logan is sitting at the computer.

RORY
Hey, you're up.

LOGAN
The shower woke me.

RORY
Sorry. I'm heading to the library. I have a ton of reading to catch up on. So I thought I'd get an early start.

LOGAN
Cool.

RORY
You doing some work?

LOGAN
No, just looking for something on YouTube. You got to see this. Finn posted a little video he shot on his cell phone when we were in Vegas. It's pretty outrageous.

RORY
You going in to the office today?

LOGAN
I doubt it. Colin and Finn are coming over.

RORY
What are you guys gonna do?

LOGAN
Hang, probably.

RORY
You know, Logan, I think after the library, I'm gonna catch a train back to new Haven.

LOGAN
Good enough.

A knock on the door, Rory answers it. Mitchum is outside.

RORY
Oh, hi.

MITCHUM
Rory.

RORY
Um, Logan's...

Mitchum walks in and picks up the phone.

MITCHUM
So, it does work. And I can assume you can get cell phone reception wherever the hell you've been.

LOGAN
I was gonna call.

MITCHUM
Uh-huh.

LOGAN
I was just waiting until I figured out my next move.

MITCHUM
Next move. I'm fascinated. What is this next move?

LOGAN
I...

MITCHUM
And where were you figuring it out -- by the pool, the slot machines?

LOGAN
What you've been spying on me?

MITCHUM
After what you pulled, you can pretty much bet I'm gonna be spying on you for the rest of your life.

LOGAN
I need some time.

MITCHUM
You know what you need, Logan? You need to get dressed, get cleaned up, and get your ass down to the office so you can hear what's been figured out for you!

LOGAN
I'm not just another one of your employees.

MITCHUM
Damn right you're not. If you were just another one of my employees, you'd be fired by now. Steven, Barry in legal are gonna sit you down, try and sort out the mess you made. Can you be there in an hour?

Mitchum leaves. Rory puts her hands on her head and sighs.

LOGAN
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Mitchum Huntzberger, class-a jerk. Can you believe him?

RORY
No. I mean...

LOGAN
What?

RORY
He was a jerk. He is a jerk.

LOGAN
But?

RORY
Uh, well, Logan, far be it for me to agree with your father, but you have been kind of irresponsible.

LOGAN
Okay, you know what, I can't... This is really weird.

RORY
What -- that I'm being honest?

LOGAN
No, that you're on his side. I kind of expected a little support here.

RORY
Logan, I love you, but I'm not gonna support every stupid thing that you do, okay? If you go rob a bank, what do you expect me to do? Say, "oh, that's okay, honey. I support you darling"?

LOGAN
I screwed up. I admit it. What do you people want -- a friggin pound of flesh?

RORY
What -- "you people"? Logan, for me, it's not that your business deal got messed up. Okay It's what you've done since then.

LOGAN
What have I done?

RORY
Nothing -- that's exactly my point. I mean you've not been facing the problem. You've been running away from it.

LOGAN
I was going crazy, Rory. I had to blow off steam. I'm trying to get my bearings here.

RORY
I don't see you trying to get your bearings. I see you hiding out, and people are counting on you, your dad included. And you're not facing your responsibilities. You're -- you are being a jerk.

LOGAN
Well, maybe that's who I am. Maybe I'm a jerk like my dad. You ever think of that?

RORY
I'm starting to.

Rory leaves and Logan goes back to his computer.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

ZACH
(to customer)
I highly recommend the cream of wheat today, ma'am. I don't know what it's spiked with, but it's like insane. 

He goes to Luke.

ZACH
(to Luke)
We got a truckload of that cream of wheat back there, so I'm pushing it like crazy.

LUKE
You're one sly waiter, Zach.

KIRK
(to Zach)
Not so fast. Got a little snafu with my order.

ZACH
I don't see a snafu.

KIRK
And that is why Lane is the pro at this job, and you will always be the amateur.

ZACH
Dude I don't have a problem with that. What's wrong with your order?

KIRK
Grilled-cheese platter comes with French fries and pickles.

ZACH
Which I'm looking at.

KIRK
Look a little closer, my friend, and you'll see that the juice from the pickles has leached over to the grilled cheese, rendering it sodden and inedible.

ZACH
Well --

KIRK
I don't recall ordering grilled cheese “au jus”.

ZACH
Pickles have juice, dude. It's like a main law of nature.

KIRK
Ah, but that's where Lane knew how to prevent this culinary catastrophe. Prior to serving the dish, she would use the French fries to build a tiny dam...

ZACH
Dude, I get it.

Zach is ready to take back the plate, but Luke stop him.

LUKE
(to Kirk)
It's all going to the same place inside that dark, strange body of yours, Kirk. Now eat it.

ZACH
Lane's right. You rock as a boss.

LUKE
Yeah. How's she doing?

ZACH
Oh dude she is about ready to burst.

LUKE
Oh, yeah?

ZACH
Yeah she's like a giant piñata, just waiting for some kid to take a mallet to her stomach and free the goodies inside.

LUKE
I'm thinking a doctor might be a better way to go.

ZACH
Oh, hey, I almost forgot. Lane and I would like to have you over for dinner.

LUKE
Oh, yeah, that sounds great. We should do that.

ZACH
Great. So, how's tomorrow, 8:30?

LUKE
Tomorrow? I don't know.

ZACH
Okay here's the thing -- Lane asked me to ask you about tomorrow a long time ago, and I kind of forgot, so she'd be mad if you canceled the last minute.

LUKE
I'm not canceling -- I haven't accepted.

ZACH
Well let's not get into semantics. It would just be a bummer if you bailed. ‘Cause she's been cooking for like two days.

LUKE
Okay, yeah, tomorrow night -- that sounds fine.

ZACH
Great! And I hope you like curry, 'cause Lane's gone curry crazy.

LUKE
I'm not big on curry.

ZACH
Oh, well, maybe you can pick around it.

CUT TO:

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, RICHARD'S STUDY - DAY

Lorelai and Emily are at the computer.

LORELAI
It's the same program as the one we used for that corporate stuff you know but a different application. ‘Cause it's personal. It's simple.

EMILY
For you, maybe. I couldn't figure it out. And your father was absolutely no help.

LORELAI
Well, all we need to do is -- mom, you're doing it again.

EMILY
I'm looking at the screen.

LORELAI
I know, but you're, like, hovering.

EMILY
I'm not hovering, Lorelai. "Hovering" means you're elevated off the ground. Do I look like I'm elevating?

LORELAI
You seem awful tense, mom.

EMILY
Of course I'm tense. Having your father around the house all the time is extremely difficult. He's just there, wandering about, like a man of leisure.

LORELAI
Did he go through any of this stuff? Did he at least sign the 1040?

EMILY
I don't know.

LORELAI
Oh mum he has to sign some of this stuff before we can send it out you know.

EMILY
He refuses to deal with anything. All he does is watch golf, pad around in his sweatsuit, and annoy me with questions about things he's misplaced. And he's getting to be a serious pain in the you-know-what.

LORELAI
The nose? The ear?

EMILY
Would it give you that much pleasure to hear me say "ass"?

LORELAI
I wasn't sure, but, yes, it did.

Richard walks in wearing a jogging suit.

RICHARD
Emily! Have you seen my -- oh, hello, Lorelai.

LORELAI
Hi, dad. Nice threads. Having lunch with Tony Soprano?

EMILY
Don't encourage him.

RICHARD
You like it? I realized that, since I was housebound, I might as well wear whatever I like. These are so comfy. Have either of you seen my putter?

LORELAI
No, but we have seen this 1040 tax form. Sign it.

RICHARD
Did your mother tell you I've installed a putting green in the back yard? It's great fun.

EMILY
You are not going out to putt. You'll catch your death. And, Richard, would you please sign this form?

RICHARD
Just leave the form. I'll sign it later.

Richard goes down to the floor.

EMILY
What are you doing? The putter's not down there.

LORELAI
No, but your tax form's here. Come on, dad. Sign it.

RICHARD
(sighs)
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.

Richard spots the putter on a wall.

RICHARD
And, yes! There it is.

EMILY
Hallelujah, we found the putter. We have a few more things we need to go over with you.

RICHARD
Later today, dear.

EMILY
You always say that, but you never do. And wear a hat!

RICHARD
Yes, mother.

EMILY
Ugh!

Richard leaves. Lorelai's cell phone rings.

LORELAI
Well, mom, he was watching golf. Now he's playing golf. That's progress.
(into phone)
Hey, kid.

EXT. NEW YORK: STREET - DAY

Rory is in a cab.

RORY
(into phone)
I'm in.

.INTERCUT - PHONE CONVERSATION

LORELAI
You're robbing a bank?

RORY
The road trip -- I'm going with you to Mia's wedding.

LORELAI
Wow, that's great! Are you sure?

RORY
Yes, I so need to get away. I just had a huge fight with Logan.

LORELAI
Oh, sweetie, why?

RORY
Because he's being a complete a jerk. He won't deal with anything. And Mitchum just showed up at the apartment.

LORELAI
Mitchum came?

RORY
I opened the door, and there he was in a really expensive coat and all this cologne. And he yelled at Logan, and Logan yelled back. And, yes, Mitchum is jerk, but I actually agreed with him, and I told Logan that.

LORELAI
Wow, you agreed with the boyfriend's dad? That's brave.

RORY
I couldn't help it, mom. Logan is being immature. And I can't focus on my work, and I need to get out of here.

LORELAI
Oh honey it sounds like a trip like this is just what you need.

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
A trip like what?

LORELAI
(to Emily)
Nothing, mom.

RORY
Are you with grandma?

LORELAI
Yes, it's our Thursday computer lesson. And it's no "Tuesdays with Morrie."

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
Where are you going on this trip?

LORELAI
(to Emily)
Mia Halloway's wedding -- Charlotte, North Carolina.

RORY
I have to be back by Monday.

LORELAI
That should be no problem. This is gonna be a blast!

EMILY
Charlotte.

LORELAI
Mia wanted me to do a toast, and I thought I could do a poem, you know like you used to do for her when you were a kid, so you have to help me.

EMILY
Kiki Saltberry just came back from a spa in Charlotte. It's the Valentine Resort, I think she said, and she came back looking radiant.

RORY
What is grandma saying about a spa?

LORELAI
(to Emily)
We're staying at a Best Western mum. No spa facilities there. 
(into phone)
So, okay, I'll pick you up at the crack of dawn. We'll cram everything in the jeep. No bathroom breaks along the way, okay?

RORY
Does grandma want to come?

LORELAI
No. I mean, yes, but, no.

EMILY
I'd have to rearrange my schedule, but that can be done.

LORELAI
Mom, you really can't leave dad all alone.

EMILY
Alone, yes, completely alone, with two maids, a cook, and a nurse who comes daily.

RORY
Yes, grandma should come, too. It'll be a hoot.

LORELAI
It would be fun, honey, but grandma's real busy.

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
Rory wants me to come?

LORELAI
(to Emily)
Well...

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
Well, she'll be graduating soon, and I won't have many more opportunities to spend time with her. This is perfect...

LORELAI
(to Emily)
Mum...

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
I'm gonna start packing.

LORELAI
(to Emily)
Oh, mom.

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
Oh, and we'll take my car. I have no intention of driving 800 miles in an army vehicle.

RORY
Shotgun?

LORELAI
Mh-mhm.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Emily is driving the Jaguar, there is a line of traffic behind her, honking their horns. Lorelai is in the passengers seat and Rory in the back.

LORELAI
Oh, mom, if you're gonna go this slowly, you should really put your hazards on.

EMILY
Excuse me, but after I almost got that ridiculous DWI, I can ill afford a speeding ticket. And a jaguar is an invitation to be pulled over.

LORELAI
Right, if you're speeding. You're driving like you're in a parade.

EMILY
Oh, hush.

LORELAI
Mom, seriously, by the time we get there, the wedding will be over. The guests will have gone home. North Carolina will be under a sea of water from melting ice caps.

RORY
"See ya."

LORELAI
Huh?

RORY
You could rhyme "Mia" with "see ya."

LORELAI
Oh, that's good. Or "be ya."

RORY
Yeah.

LORELAI
You were such a peach, dear Mia, when Rory grew up, she wanted to be ya.

RORY
Good. But do you think it owes too much to Yeats?

LORELAI
Well, it needs some work, but you try finding something to rhyme with "Howard" besides "coward."

EMILY
Howard? She's marrying a man named Howard?

LORELAI
What's wrong with Howard?

EMILY
It's just, for me, it would be very difficult if my husband was named Howard.

RORY
Why?

EMILY
It's just not a noble name. I like noble male names, strong -- john, peter.

RORY
Richard.

EMILY
Exactly. Richard the lion-heart.

LORELAI
Well, I guess name nobility wasn't high on Mia's list.

EMILY
Howard the lion-heart. 

Lorelai rolls down the window.

EMILY
What are you doing?

LORELAI
It's stuffy.

EMILY
It's too cold to have the window open.

LORELAI
Mom, just let me have it down -- oh, my god.

EMILY
Lorelai, stop playing with the window.

LORELAI
I'm not playing. I just want it down. And you're making it go -- are you kidding me? Plea-- mother, I'm putting it -- I'm putting it --  Wha-- uh -- mom!

EMILY
It's called a child lock, appropriately enough.

EMILY
So, Rory, what do you have lined up postgraduation?

RORY
Oh, I'm setting up interviews at different newspapers -- The Seattle Times, The Detroit Free Press, San Francisco Chronicle.

EMILY
Well, I'm not sure about the Seattle paper, and the Chronicle is dreadful, but the Detroit paper is quite reputable.

LORELAI
You know what else a reputable paper is? The New York Times, The Boston Globe, The Hartford Courant.

RORY
Yes, and only a short drive away from Stars Hollow.

LORELAI
Oh, well, that never occurred to me, but now that you mention it, yeah.

EMILY
So, how does Logan feel about the possibility of your moving far away?

RORY
I'm not sure.

EMILY
You're not sure?

RORY
No. Things with Logan are...

EMILY
Are what?

RORY
Uh, we're kind of going through something.

EMILY
Aw, that's a shame. Such a nice young man. He was so thoughtful when your grandfather was in the hospital.

RORY
Yeah.

LORELAI
Oh, hey, the Skirf.

RORY
Oh, the Skirf.

EMILY
What's a Skirf?

LORELAI
Well, when Rory was really little, my first sewing project was trying to make her a skirt.

RORY
It was a disaster.

LORELAI
It was terrible. But Mia made me feel better by putting it on Rory's head and saying I created something new, called a Skirf.

RORY
Yeah.

EMILY
So, do we all like show tunes? I found this marvelous CD when I took the car to be washed.

*Music: Rogers & Hammerstein (from 'Oklahoma') "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning"*

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: BAND APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY

Lane, Zach and Luke have dinner.

*Music: Pernice Brothers “Conscience Clean (I Went to Spain)”*

LANE
And I was put on bed rest so the babies wouldn't come out before my due date. And I look at the calendar, and I say to Zach, "Zach, it's my due date."

ZACH
And I'm like, "so?"

LANE
And I say, "so now I want them to come out."

ZACH
And I go, "duh, let's get out of bed."

Laughter.

LANE
Well I guess they can come out whenever they want, as long as we've finished our meal...

Laughter.

LUKE
... Which, by the way, was terrific, Lane. Thanks.

ZACH
Yeah, she had no problem switching to a different meal when I told her about your curry issues.

LUKE
Well, it's not really - it's - not really and issue.

ZACH
Whatever.

LUKE
It's not really an issue. Again, look, sorry about the wine. I totally spaced. I should have brought you something sparkling, you know a fruity kind of a thing.

ZACH
No, it's okay. Besides, they say one of the things you can do to help induce labor is have a glass of wine.

ZACH
That or sex.

LUKE
Well, I can only help you with the wine.

Laughter.

LUKE
So look, I should get going. I got to get up early and open the diner.

ZACH
Are you sure you don't want dessert? Homemade peach pie.

LUKE
You made a peach pie?

ZACH
Well, actually, you made it at the diner, which is technically your home, but I paid for it.

LUKE
I'll have one quick piece.

ZACH
Yes!

LUKE
You know this is really nice of you guys.

ZACH
What do you expect, man? You mean a lot to Lane and me.

LANE
You do.

ZACH
We feel really close to you, and not just, you know, employees.

LUKE
Yeah, uh, me too.

LANE
When it comes to extended family, Zach and I don't have much. I mean I've got my mom, but she's not so much a family member as she is a probation officer.

ZACH
Yeah and my old man ran off when I was like 10 -- no note, no nothing. So I got the feeling, you know, he didn't want me to follow him.

LUKE
Mm-hmm. So, you guys need money or something?

ZACH
Lane and I would like you to be godfather to our twins.

LUKE
Oh, really? Godfather?

LANE
We just want to make sure we have a strong parental person for our boys.

LUKE
Well...

ZACH
There's no paperwork involved.

LUKE
Right. I just...

ZACH
No notary public if that's what you're thinking.

LUKE
No, I know. It's just. 

He sighs and takes a few seconds to think.

LUKE
Yeah, okay, sure.

LANE
(Squeals)

ZACH
Oh, man. That is so great.
(to Lane)
Up high.

They high-five.

ZACH
(to Luke)
Come on.

They high-five.

LUKE
All right. Okay.

Lane and Luke also high-five.

ZACH
There you go.

CUT TO:

INT. WINKY'S DINER - NIGHT

Lorelai, Rory and Emily enter. A waitress leads them to a table. Emily is on the phone.

EMILY
(into phone)
No, are you listening? I've already booked a Swedish massage for 1:00. I want to know what I can do at 2:30. Good lord, no. A Watsu? Why would I want to re-experience my own birth?

WAITRESS
I'll be back to take your orders.

Rory and Lorelai open the menus.

RORY
Big menus.

LORELAI
Yeah, that's a good sign.

RORY
Oh I love when they show pictures of the food.

LORELAI
I would be upset if I was that fried chicken, though. That picture makes her look fat.

EMILY
(into phone)
Fine. Book me a salt scrub at 2:30. Thank you. 

She hangs up.

EMILY
Where on earth are we?

LORELAI
Well, mom, since you wouldn't let us take you to a drive-through, we've come here to Winky's, a fine eatery just off I-85.

EMILY
Very down home.

WAITRESS
We ready here?

LORELAI
Oh, uh, uh, I'm only halfway through. Don't tell me how it turns out. Um...

EMILY
I smell cigarette smoke.
(to waitress)
This is one of those places that still allows cigarettes isn't it?

LORELAI
Mom, if you'd prefer to wait in the car, we can bring food to you there.

EMILY
Well that would be foolish, the reason why I refused to go to the drive-through is because I won't allow eating in my car.

RORY
Hey, they have lobster.

LORELAI
Lobster for $12.95. How could you go wrong? I'll have the lobster.

RORY
See, you'll have lobster. I'll have shrimp. We'll make it a seafood night.

EMILY
Seafood in a place like this -- very risky.

LORELAI
And a hot dog. A hot dog for the table. You'll go in on that with us, won't you, mom?

EMILY
(to waitress)
I'll have a turkey sandwich on wheat and a glass of chardonnay. That's the clear one.

WAITRESS
My name is Charlene. Holler if you need something.

RORY
Wow, huge case of cakes behind you there.

LORELAI
Ooh, yeah. Winky's got a trophy case full of cakes. Hey, I bet Mia makes her triple-layered German chocolate cake for the wedding, don't you think?

RORY
Probably.

EMILY
Mmm. Aromatherapy -- that's what I want. Are you sure you two won't join me for something at the spa -- facial, Moroccan mud wrap? My treat.

LORELAI
Mother, we came here because we made a commitment to go to a wedding, so that's what we're gonna do.

EMILY
Suit yourself. I need to use the facilities. Wish me luck.

Emily walks off.

LORELAI
I love it here. And I'm totally gonna score a panda in that crane machine on the way out.

RORY
Mum do you think we should dial back the talk about Mia in front of grandma? I mean I don't think she's thrilled to hear about our surrogate mother/grandmother.

LORELAI
She knew that Mia is the reason for the trip. I think it's okay if we talk about her.

RORY
I know, but it seems to bother her. You know and I thought, during this trip, we could do more mother/daughter, daughter/daughter bonding.

LORELAI
10 hours in the car not enough bonding for you?

RORY
I'm just worried about you guys. I mean what's gonna happen after I graduate?

LORELAI
After you graduate? That's when the party gets started.

RORY
Yeah, I just -- I want you guys to remain close.

LORELAI
Close?

RORY
Ish.

LORELAI
Honey, your grandma and I have a very complicated relationship, but we'll be fine. I don't want you to worry. You go off and do your own thing. I'm a grown-up. A grown-up who wears a bib.

The waitress hands Lorelai the bib.

LORELAI
Thank you.

CUT TO:

INT. CHARLOTTE: BEST WESTERN, MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Lorelai and Rory share a room. Lorelai is holding the TV remote.

LORELAI
All righty. Looks like our choices are "Hitch" or "The Lake House."

RORY
I could use a laugh.

LORELAI
Alright the "The Lake House" it is.

RORY
Oh, my dress got wrinkled.

LORELAI
Honey, just put it in the shower with the steam if mom ever finishes shellacking her face.

EMILY (O.S.)
I heard that, Lorelai. I'm simply washing up.

LORELAI
Mom, the resort is 20 minutes away. Why do you have to wash up here?

Emily walks in from the bathroom.

EMILY
I can't very well arrive at a luxurious resort smelling of bad shellfish and covered with the grime of the road.

LORELAI
"The road." Who are you -- Willie Nelson? 

The phone rings.

LORELAI
(into phone)
Hello.
(gasps)
Mia, how is the blushing bride-to-be?

INT. CHARLOTTE: MIA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

MIA
(into phone)
Surprisingly calm, but then I've had two glasses of wine, so we'll see how I do tomorrow when the buzz wears off.

LORELAI
Ah you'll do great.

.INTERCUT - PHONE CONVERSATION

Rory joins Lorelai listening on the same phone.

RORY
(into phone)
Hi, Mia.

MIA
Oh, hi, Rory. I just wanted to see if you got here all right. How's the motel? Not too terrible, I hope.

LORELAI
Oh, no, it's great. We have two beds, sanitized cups, Keanu Reeves in his most touching role to date. What could be better?

Emily gestures that she is leaving.

RORY
(to Emily)
Oh, grandma, hold on.

MIA
Oh, Emily's with you?

LORELAI
Oh, um, yeah, we picked her up hitchhiking on her way to a rock festival.

RORY
She's going to the valentine resort.

MIA
Well, if Emily's here, then she has to come to the wedding.

LORELAI
Oh no, that's okay. She's spending tomorrow getting rubbed, wrapped, and scrubbed.

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
Oh, no, she's asking me to the wedding?

LORELAI
(to Emily)
No, no. It's okay. 
(into phone)
Um so the ceremony's at noon. We'll be there around 11:30.

MIA
Oh, please ask Emily to come. We have plenty of food. Howard and I would be thrilled to have her join us. In fact, I insist.

RORY
That is so thoughtful of you, Mia, and I am sure she would love to come.

EMILY
Oh great. Now I have to go to the wedding.

LORELAI
(to Emily)
No, you don't.

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
It would be rude not to. Damn!

RORY
She says she's delighted and flattered that you asked.

MIA
Oh, that's wonderful. I look forward to seeing all three of you tomorrow. Sleep well.

RORY
You, too, Mia. Bye.

LORELAI
Bye.

Rory hangs up the phone, Lorelai makes a face to Rory.

INT. CHARLOTTE: BEST WESTERN, MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

EMILY
Well, I hope the resort will let me change my times. I'll pick the two of you up at 11:00 sharp tomorrow. Be out front. Of course, I didn't bring a thing to wear to a wedding. Luckily, they're going bohemian, so it won't really matter.

Emily leaves.

LORELAI
Ugh!

RORY
We're bonding.

Lorelai sighs.

RORY
Oh, this could be a good thing.

LORELAI
Oh, the only good thing is that mom is gonna get to the resort still smelling like bad lobster, 'cause I left my doggie bag in her car.

They sit back on the bed and Lorelai starts the movie.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

Luke comes down and starts getting the diner ready for the day. He hears a knock on the door. It's Zach. Luke opens.

ZACH
Hey.

LUKE
Everything okay?

ZACH
Great. Everything's -- yeah. Great.

LUKE
You know I don't open for another hour.

ZACH
Oh, no, I know, but last night when you said you had to get up early, I realized it's time, maybe, I come and help crank up the place.

LUKE
Okay.

Zach comes in starts to set up chairs.

ZACH
I actually love this time of day, you know, real quiet. You know what's, like, amazing? How peaceful Stars Hollow is at this time of day. It's, like, spooky peaceful. You ever notice that?

LUKE
I'm sorry. I-I really don't enjoy talking this early in the morning.

ZACH
Oh, hey, copy that. I'm right there with you.

Zach puts down another chair, making a lot of noise. Luke sighs.

ZACH
Now, Lane -- she loves to talk in the morning. Lots of morning chin music with that one. Not me. I take not talking over talking any day. 

Zach starts putting source dispensers out on the counter, one falls, but Luke catches it.

ZACH
Ooh, awesome catch.

LUKE
Thanks.

ZACH
Pretty obvious you played some ball.

LUKE
A little.

ZACH
I didn't really get into sports much. My dad didn't do sports with me when I was little, and then he, you know, split.

LUKE
Yeah, you said. That's too bad.

ZACH
Yeah. What kind of music you into?

LUKE
I don't really listen to much music.

ZACH
No?

LUKE
I mean if I'm driving around in my truck, I'll, you know, maybe put on an oldies station. I like some Motown.

ZACH
Oh dude I know the perfect band for you. You would so get off on them. They're young, but their sound is way borrowed from those old guys from the '70s.

LUKE
Listen, I got to fire up the stoves.

ZACH
Yeah, go, go. Fire 'em up.

LUKE
You know, I can't pay you any extra 'cause you came in early.

ZACH
Oh, yeah, I know. I just figure it's part of my job, and it's a chance for us to hang out. Plus, you know...
(quietly)
the quiet.

LUKE
Right.

CUT TO:

INT. CHARLOTTE: MIA'S HOUSE - DAY

Lorelai, Rory and Emily enter.

EMILY
Lorelai, you didn't even knock.

LORELAI
Well, that's okay. Mia leaves the door open. She likes people to just come on in.

RORY
She's probably too busy to greet everybody, grandma.

EMILY
Well, of course she is. She should have someone greet people for her.

RORY
Oh, look at all these great pictures.

LORELAI
Not everyone has a maid, you know, mom.

EMILY
How hard is it to hire a maid for the day?

LORELAI
Well, last I checked, they didn't have them at Bed Bath and Beyond.

RORY
Oh, this must be Howard. Look. Here we are.

LORELAI
Oh so cute. That's the rug where you used to spin around at the Independence Inn. I bet you threw up just seconds after that picture was taken.

RORY
Yep.

EMILY
Are we going in, or are we going to watch from the entryway?

MIA
Oh, you're here! Lorelai!

LORELAI
Hi!

RORY
Hi!

Emily looks on as they hug.

MIA
Did you find it all right?

LORELAI
Yeah, mom's got the GPS. Apparently, it's great if you know how to use it.

RORY
Yeah, we saw a lot of your neighborhood -- very nice.

MIA
Oh, those damn GPS drive me crazy. Whatever happened to asking the guy at the gas station?

EMILY
Good question. Hello, Mia. Thank you so much for inviting me to this special occasion.

They hold hands.

MIA
Emily, I'm so glad you could be here. Well, let's go in. Let's not just stand here. I know a wedding wasn't what you had in mind when you came down here.

EMILY
What I had in mind was spending time with my daughter and granddaughter, wherever.

MIA
Oh, will you sign my guest book, please?

EMILY
Oh certainly.

MIA
I just feel so lucky to have all the Gilmore ladies under one roof.

EMILY
Speaking of roofs, you have a charming home.

MIA
Oh, thank you.

EMILY
I'm always amazed at what good taste can do with a small space.

LORELAI
Oh, it is beautiful.

RORY
Yeah, so many personal touches everywhere.

MIA
Thank you. I agree with Emily. It's a small house, and it's made even smaller by Howard's junk. But you know what they say -- you marry a man, you marry his junk. Howard.

Howard approaches.

HOWARD
Mia...

MIA
Howard, Howard. This is Emily Gilmore, the mother and grandmother of the famous Lorelai and Rory.

RORY
Hi.

LORELAI^
Hi.

EMILY
Nice to meet you.

HOWARD
How do you do.

LORELAI
I thought you weren't supposed to see the bride in her gown before you got married.

MIA
Uh-oh! 

Mia covers Howard's eyes.  Laughter.

RORY
Yeah, and if the bride sees a lizard crossing the road, that's bad news, too.

LORELAI
Really!

MIA
Oh, well, haven't seen a lizard, but too late for the dress, 'cause Howard zipped me up.

LORELAI
Oh no, where's the zip-up on the bad-luck-o-meter?

RORY
Not sure, but I'd throw some salt over your shoulders just in case.

LORELAI
I don't have any salt. I might have some Splenda.

HOWARD
You are exactly as Mia described you -- you both are. And believe me, she described you a lot.

LORELAI
Well, I hope she left out the bad stuff.

MIA
There's no bad stuff.

EMILY
Lucky you.

Emily chuckles.

HOWARD
Well the sooner we get married the sooner we get cake.

MIA
Oh, honey, you're so romantic. Emily, could I just borrow the girls for a quick touch-up in the powder room?

EMILY
They're all yours.

MIA
Oh, thanks. Okay, guys, let's get me beautiful.

Mia, Rory, Lorelai leave. Someone takes Emily's coat.

EMILY
Oh, thank you.

HOWARD
(to Emily)
Mia adores them.

EMILY
Yes, I know.

HOWARD
(sighs)
Well, come in. Find a seat.

EMILY
The sofa will be fine.

CUT TO:

INT. CHARLOTTE: MIA'S HOUSE - DAY

Lorelai is up front.

LORELAI
And so, a toast to you, dear Mia. It makes us all so glad to see ya... blissfully joined with dear, good Howard. May your love last long, like it's battery-powered. 

Laughter.

LORELAI
Rory and I wanted to do a poem for you, because when Rory was little, she used to love making up poems, and we would perform them for you, and that was such a fun time. Um... uh, so, what I've realized now is that you can get away with a lot of bad rhymes when you're cute and 5. But we do want to say...

EMILY
(to another guest)
Excuse me would you mind terribly getting me a glass of water?

LORELAI
... The best things in life are worth waiting for, even if they take a long time...

EMILY
(to Rory)
she keeps her house very dry.

LORELAI
So, let's... a toast to you. 

Lorelai raises a champagne glass.

LORELAI
We love you so much. Cheers.

ALL
Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Hear, hear! Congratulations.

LORELAI
Oh.

MIA
Thank you. That was wonderful.

The guest brings back the water for Emily and quietly talks to Rory.

GUEST
(to Rory)
Are you Rory? There's someone here to see you.

Points to show Logan standing in the next room, Rory gets up while Mia continues to talk.

MIA
... That you are here today. And thank you for those of you who came from so far away. Thank you again for the toast. I'll thank my sister for all the wonderful help on the wedding...

LOGAN
(to Rory)
Hey.

RORY
(to Logan)
What the hell are you doing here?

LOGAN
I'm sorry I don't mean to crash this. I just need to talk to you.

RORY
How did you know where I was?

LOGAN
I called Paris, she found the invitation. I kept trying your cell, but you didn't pick up.

RORY
Well, that's the advantage of caller I.D.

LOGAN
I get it. You're still mad.

RORY
No kidding.

LOGAN
But now I'm here, so you have to talk to me - that's the advantage of showing up in person.

RORY
Wow, I can't believe you're still doing this. This is so last year's Logan.

LOGAN
What?

RORY
You think you can just fly anywhere I am and overwhelm me by just showing up and -- I'm just not impressed anymore by your grand gestures.

LOGAN
I'm not trying to impress you Rory. I just want to tell you what I've been thinking.

RORY
Well I don't care...

LOGAN
And I wanted to see you.

RORY
I'm in the middle of a wedding of a close friend. I don't have time to stand here and listen to you explain your stupid immature behavior.

LOGAN
If you would just hear me out.

RORY
No, you go blow off steam in Vegas, you gamble away thousands of dollars, you drink all night, and do god knows what else. This is me blowing off steam.

HOWARD
I'm sorry to interrupt, Rory, but Mia wanted me to tell you we're about to cut the cake.

RORY
Okay.

HOWARD
Will your friend join us?

RORY
Um, no, he can't stay.

LOGAN
Yeah, I was just stopping by. Thanks, anyway.

HOWARD
Oh, okay.

Rory and Howard go to the cake cutting.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

The diner is busy with bowlers.

LADY
Hey girls.

LADIES
Hey there.

LUKE
Talk to me, Zach. What do you got?

ZACH
Okay, bowl of chili, two dogs, one BLT, shepherd's pie, and a mushroom soup. And those guys in the corner were asking me if I had a pack of lucky strikes or a burger to spare, what's that about?

LUKE
Bowling humor -- strikes, spares. Never gets old, guys.

ZACH
Oh, I totally missed it. Oh, man!

LUKE
What's wrong?

ZACH
Last night, I made this mix of tunes that I thought would be right up your alley.

LUKE
Okay.

ZACH
Well, you know, new stuff that sounds kind of classic rock-y -- My Morning Jacket, who are like Neil Young reborn, if Neil would have, you know, died.

LUKE
Uh-ha Wolfmother - definitely channeling Zeppelin -- modern, but not so much that it would freak out somebody of your taste.

LUKE
The point.

ZACH
The point is, I totally forgot to bring it.

LUKE
Oh, don't worry about it.

ZACH
Yeah, but I spent, like, all night on it.

LUKE
Ah that's nice.

ZACH
Gave me something to do instead of sitting around, waiting for Lane to pop out the babies.

LUKE
It'll happen.

ZACH
Yeah, don't I know it?
(to customers)
Denver omelet, steak sandwich.

LUKE
(to customers)
Two cheeseburgers -- medium and well.

ZACH
Question -- circumcision, yes or no?

LUKE
Pardon?

ZACH
I mean we have to make a decision as soon as the boys are born, and I'm really on the fence about it.

LUKE
Ahh...

ZACH
I thought about having Mrs. Kim weigh in, but her opinion would be kind of hypothetical 'cause she doesn't have the goods, as far as I know.

LUKE
Right.

ZACH
Right, so, you being a guy, I figured I could use your input on this.

LUKE
You know, you saying something like this -- it's kind of personal between you and Lane, so go with your gut.

ZACH
Yeah, okay.

LUKE
Alright.

ZACH
Cool.

LUKE
(to customer)
Bill, refill?

ZACH
Let's say your kid falls out of a tree and majorly gashes his head. Do you run to him right away or just let him kind of shake it off? I mean I don't want to be a wussy dad, but...

LUKE
Probably not the right time to be talking about gashed heads and circumcisions.

ZACH
Right. Right. I totally get that. Maybe we could, uh, go over to Casey's after work and grab a beer and talk about some stuff.

LUKE
Look, I-I can't be...

ZACH
Please.

LUKE
Okay.

Luke ushers Zach over to the corner.

LUKE
Listen, I know what's going on, okay? You're about to become a father, so you're panicking.

ZACH
I am, dude, big-time.

LUKE
Promise you you'll get through this.

ZACH
I don't know how to throw a damn Frisbee.

LUKE
Don't worry about it, okay?

ZACH
I just -- I really could use your help on all this father stuff that I know nothing about.

LUKE
Zach...

ZACH
What the hell are they supposed to call me -- "dad," "pop," "papa"? Do I look like a papa to you?

LUKE
It'll come to you eventually.

ZACH
Papa is a big, cuddly guy from Italy with all this dark hair. That's so not me.

LUKE
Listen, the first time April turned up in my life, I didn't know squat about being a father, but eventually, it came to me. Okay I found my dad mode, and you will, too.

ZACH
Dude, I hope so.

LUKE
Yeah. Don't sweat it. And go ahead and deliver these to the clowns in the corner over there. You will be fine. 
(sighs)
I -- okay, all right.

BILL
(to Luke)
Guy's a real goofball, huh?

LUKE
Yeah, watch it, bill. 

Luke takes his plate.

BILL
I'm not finished with that pie.

LUKE
Yeah, you are.

CUT TO:

INT. CHARLOTTE: MIA'S HOUSE - DAY

Lorelai is talking to someone, country music is playing.

MAN
And I drove through Connecticut once -- beautiful. In fact, Cathy and I considered moving to New England 'cause we love the foliage.

LORELAI
Well, we got a lot of that. It practically grows on trees.

She is watching Emily and not interested in the man or what he is saying.

MAN
But the cold -- no thank you. I can barely handle it here in Charlotte when it drops below 40. Cathy says it's a circulation thing. I think it's a matter of not having the fat layer that you women do.

LORELAI
You should be glad you don't have it. If you did, you couldn't wear such an amazing sweater.

Rory walks up.

RORY
Hey, Mia put out some of her famous mini cream puffs. They're delicious.

MAN
Uh-oh, may have to get me one of those. Scusie.

The man leaves.

LORELAI
(to Rory)
God bless you.

RORY
Ha. No problem. You looked a little trapped there.

LORELAI
No, no, I was riveted by stories of foliage and fat. Where'd you go off to?

RORY
Logan showed up.

LORELAI
What?!

RORY
Yeah.

LORELAI
Where is he?

RORY
Outside, leaning against a car.

LORELAI
Why? You wouldn't let him come in?

RORY
No.

LORELAI
Really? Look at you, all tough love.

RORY
Well I'm still mad at him. I'm not gonna melt just because he flies down here to see me. If we're gonna do this, it's gonna be on my terms.

LORELAI
Wow.

RORY
It doesn't look like grandma's having a good time.

LORELAI
No, grandma's staging a sit-in, as only grandma could do, in the middle of a hoopla. Some people would call it a shindig. I'm here to tell you it's a hoopla.

RORY
I have so much to learn from you still.

Howard walks up to them.

HOWARD
Ladies, I'm striking out left and right in my attempts to coax someone to dance. Would either of you salvage my pride?

RORY
Howard, I'll dance with you.

HOWARD
Thank you.

RORY
(to Lorelai)
Talk to grandma.

Howard and Rory are off. Lorelai sighs and sits down next to Emily on the sofa.

LORELAI
Hi, mom. How are you doing?

EMILY
Oh, fine. I'm just going through my schedule for the week.

LORELAI
So, did Howard ask you to dance?

EMILY
He did, yes -- very thoughtful.

LORELAI
Why didn't you dance with him?

EMILY
I don't feel like dancing right now. Besides, I have no idea how one dances to cowboy music.

LORELAI
You want to dance with me? We could slap our knees, shout "yee-haw."

EMILY
No thank you I think I'll just wait for the appropriate moment to excuse myself gracefully.

LORELAI
Mom, I told you I didn't think you were gonna want to come.

A woman walks over.

DONNA
So, Lorelai, gal, we have got to do some catching up. How have you been, sweetie?

LORELAI
Good, Donna. Good.

DONNA
Mia says you have you own inn now. That is so far out.

LORELAI
It is great.
(to Emily)
Um, mom, this is Donna. This is my mother, Emily Gilmore.

EMILY
How do you do?

DONNA
Really well, thank you.

LORELAI
Donna and I were maids together at the Independence Inn.

DONNA
A few hundred lives ago, huh? Hey, listen, your toast was so great.

LORELAI
Thanks. I didn't know I was gonna be the only one.

DONNA
Oh, but you were the perfect choice. I mean, for god's sake, Mia was like a mother to you.

LORELAI
Um, so, how are you? You look good.

DONNA
I do, don't I?

LORELAI
Yeah,

DONNA
I tell you, six years ago, when I first started the raw-foods thing...

EMILY
(to Lorelai)
Do you know if they put the coffee out yet?

LORELAI
Mother.

EMILY
What? I'm sorry, but you're talking about something between the two of you, and I could really use a cup of coffee.

DONNA
You know what? I am having a serious craving for herbal tea. Let's get something together, Emily.

EMILY
All right.

Emily and Donna walk off. Lorelai sighs and gets up to get a drink.

MIA
(to Lorelai)
Hey.

LORELAI
Hey.

MIA
Everything okay?

LORELAI
Yeah. It's fine. I just always seem to forget my mother doesn't play well with others.

MIA
Oh, I think she's doing all right, considering.

LORELAI
Considering...

MIA
I mean, in terms of you and me and Rory and our history.

LORELAI
Yeah, so? We have a history.

MIA
Seeing me with you must bring back very painful memories. Imagine how difficult it must have been for your mother to lose you.

LORELAI
She didn't lose me. I embarrassed her, so I had to leave.

MIA
But Lorelai even in the best of circumstances, you never want to think that your child doesn't need you anymore.

LORELAI
She wanted me out of the house so she didn't have to explain why my school uniform didn't fit any more.

MIA
That's not the impression I got when she came to see me.

LORELAI
What? When did she come to see you?

MIA
Oh, must have been five years ago, when I came back for that visit to Stars Hollow. She came and found me at the inn.

LORELAI
Why?

MIA
I think she wanted to meet me. And she asked me to send her photos of you and Rory from those years when you were staying with me. She never told you?

LORELAI
No, she definitely never told me.

Howard walks up.

HOWARD
(to Mia)
Well, my dear, my dancing feet are all warmed up. Your turn.

MIA
Oh, goody, the dance. Now we find out if we're really meant to be together.

HOWARD
Ooh.

Howard and Mia walk off.

CUT TO:

EXT. CHARLOTTE: MIA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Rory goes out with a plate to see Logan who is leaning against his car.

LOGAN
You didn't have to bring me cake.

RORY
I didn't. 

She sits on the front of the car and starts eating.

RORY
You wanted to talk, so talk.

LOGAN
All I wanted to do was say I'm sorry, so... I'm sorry. You were right. I was being immature.

RORY
Okay.

LOGAN
When the whole deal fell apart... I knew I was in so much trouble, I just -- I totally lost it. I couldn't face anything. I had so much invested in it in every way that, when it all collapsed, it was like I fell into this hole I couldn't pull myself out of. And I also realized that my dad was right. He had every reason to be pissed at me. I mean, I would have fired me for what I did. So, I decided the only way to fix this is to not be my dad's employee anymore.

RORY
What?

LOGAN
I went to him, and I just -- I said -- I was calm, apologetic, no shouting, no threats. I just said I didn't want to be a pawn in whatever game he had in mind for me.

RORY
Really.

LOGAN
I am officially not working for the Huntzberger group anymore.

RORY
Oh, my god.

LOGAN
Yeah, and it feels really good. I mean, it felt great finally standing up to my dad.

RORY
How did he take it?

LOGAN
He tried to put up this cool, detached front, you know but I think I actually saw steam coming out of his ears. Basically, he told me to hit the road.

RORY
And you took him literally.

LOGAN
I just needed to see you. The thing is, even though he was mad, I swear I saw the slightest glimmer of pride in his eyes, you know just for a second. I mean, no one walks out on Mitchum Huntzberger.

RORY
I'm proud of you, too. I almost wish I'd saved you a bite of cake. Hmm.

She eats the last bite.

CUT TO:

INT. CHARLOTTE: MIA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Inside Emily is watching Logan and Rory from the window. Mia walks up to her.

MIA
Boyfriend?

EMILY
Yes.

MIA
He came with you?

EMILY
No, I guess he flew down to see Rory.

MIA
It's hard for me to think of little Rory with a boyfriend.

EMILY
She's not so little anymore.

MIA
No. I just hope she doesn't get her heart broken.

EMILY
I can assure you, if anyone does any heartbreaking, it will be Rory.

MIA
Probably.

Lorelai comes up and listens.

EMILY
Definitely. She's such a smart, confident young woman. She's really amazing -- witty, charming, valedictorian in high school, editor of the college paper. Sounds like she'll have her pick of jobs at newspapers all over the country. Rory will be fine.

MIA
Well, you would know.

LORELAI
Hey. 

Lorelai hands Emily her coat.

LORELAI
Here you go. Well, we should probably get going, let Mia and Howard do whatever it is they're gonna do the rest of the night.

EMILY
Lorelai.

LORELAI
What? That could mean anything.

MIA
Well, she's right. The bride and groom have wild plans to take off all their clothes, jump into their pajamas, and listen to "A Prairie Home Companion."

LORELAI
See? Dirty mind -- you.

MIA
I can't tell you how much it meant for me to have you here. Thank you.

They hug.

LORELAI
Oh, you kidding? I wouldn't have missed it.

EMILY
Mia, best wishes to you. It was a lovely wedding. Thank you... for everything.

MIA
It was my pleasure.

Emily and Lorelai leave.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - NIGHT

ZACH
Listen, bill over there is asking for seconds on his pie -- something about how you owe him from earlier.

LUKE
Sure, give it to him.

ZACH
Look, man, I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting -- leaning on you for all this father stuff.

LUKE
Ah don't worry about it.

ZACH
No I was just all bent out of shape about being a good father -- like there is such a thing. And I was so freaking nervous, I'm like, "hey, maybe Luke can take up the slack."

LUKE
Hey, if I can help out, I will.

ZACH
No, but I dig what you said about the dad mode -- makes perfect sense. I'm really psyched to feel it kick in.

LUKE
Okay.

ZACH
Totally. Oh, I almost forgot. This is the CD.

Zach hands him the CD.

LUKE
Oh, great.

ZACH
Yeah, I listed the band names on the back. I mean, you don't have to listen to it. 

The phone rings, Zach goes to answer it.

LUKE
No, I want to hear it.

ZACH
(into phone)
Luke's diner.

LUKE
Who knows maybe I'll really get into Wolfmother.

ZACH
(into phone)
Okay, okay. Do not move. I'll be right there. Don't move.

He hangs up and walks around the diner with the pie plate in his hands.

ZACH
I have to go. Lane's water broke. I need my... coat. I-I don't -- I don't need my coat. My keys are in my coat.

LUKE
Al right that's it. We're closed, folks. I'm driving.

ZACH
No, no, no, man. I can do this.

LUKE
Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach.

ZACH
Okay.

LUKE
Dad mode doesn't have to kick in right now. Lets go.
(to customers)
Last one out, lock the door, turn off the lights.

BILL
What about my...

LUKE
Just take the whole damn pie, Bill.

CUT TO:

INT. CHARLOTTE: BEST WESTERN, MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

The room is dark.

LORELAI (O.S.)
So, he's really not working for his dad?

RORY (O.S.)
No, he's out of there.

LORELAI (O.S.)
Well, it's probably the best thing for him. How did he feel about you sending him back to New York?

Rory, Lorelai and Emily enter. They turn on the lights.

RORY
Um, I think he was okay with it. I told him it was an all-girls road trip.

LORELAI
Exactly, no boys allowed, except for that male stripper we hired.

EMILY
(Still at the doorway) Well, good night.

RORY
Oh, grandma, aren't you coming in?

EMILY
No, I just wanted to walk you to your room, seeing as this isn't the safest of neighborhoods.

LORELAI
Mom, now I feel like I should walk you back to the car and then you're gonna feel like walk me back and then we'll be stuck in a terrible loop and neither of us is wearing the shoes for that.

RORY
Oh, grandma, you should stay. We're gonna get junk food from the vending machine, and watch a movie. Come on. Don't you like Dots?

Rory goes to the vending machine.

LORELAI
Hey, get some Little Debbie.

EMILY
Seriously, Rory, I can't stay.

RORY (O.S.)
Too late grandma. I'm already getting you a Little Debbie.

A few moments of silence.

LORELAI
(to Emily)
Oh, I bought her a suit.

EMILY
Did you?

LORELAI
Yeah. It was so fun. It was weird, you know, but um, we found something really great, and it just felt like a rite of passage.

EMILY
I'm sure.

LORELAI
Made me imagine, you know, what it's gonna be like after she leaves.

EMILY
Of course.

LORELAI
It's gonna be hard to be without her.

EMILY
Well, I'm sure you'll get through it.

LORELAI
What I mean to say is, mom, is I know that it was hard for you.

EMILY
Hmm.

LORELAI
Have you seen "The Pursuit of Happyness"?

EMILY
Is that the one with Will Smith? He's so attractive.

Emily walks in.

LORELAI
Mmm! Mom has a thing for Will Smith.

EMILY
I don't have a thing for him. Is it on now?

LORELAI
Yeah.

They sit on the end of the bed. Rory runs in with the cell phone in her hand.

RORY
Oh, my god! Lane had her babies.

LORELAI
(gasps)
Oh!

RORY
Zach just sent me a photo. Here... See?

Rory sits down next to them and shows them the photo.

LORELAI
Oh, cute!

RORY
Aren't they cute?

EMILY
I'm sure that little camera distorts their faces.

LORELAI
What do you mean, mom? They're cute.

RORY
Here's another one.

LORELAI
Oh, sweet.

EMILY
Why did they misspell "Happyness"?

LORELAI
Well, we'll find out. 

She starts the movie.

LORELAI
There's your boyfriend, mom.

RORY
Who?

EMILY
He's not my boyfriend.

LORELAI
Will Smith -- mom has a thing for him.

RORY
You like Will Smith?

EMILY
I think that he's very charming.

RORY
That's all right.

>_END OF SHOW_<