The Annotated Guide to Gilmore girls

>_TEASER_<

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: STREET - DAY

Lorelai and Rory exit the baby shop.

RORY
Are you sure we got enough plain onesies?

LORELAI
Let me see. 40 people have RSVP'ed yes to Lane's shower, and we bought 60 onesies for them to decorate. I don't want to go all "Beautiful Mind" on you, but according to my calculations...

RORY
Yes, Mr. Nash, but you are forgetting about the first-pancake phenomenon.

LORELAI
Eh?

RORY
Yes the first pancake - you know you always throw it out. What if people start decorating their onesies and they hate what they do, so they want to start over and we don't have enough onesies because we only estimated one each?

LORELAI
Why do you throw out the first pancake?

RORY
Well the griddle's too hot. It gets burned.

LORELAI
Oh, my god. Next year, no excuses. We are making you that audition tape for "Top Chef."

RORY
This is pretty basic stuff.

LORELAI
Do you do it with hamburgers and waffles, too?

RORY
No, it's pancake-specific.

LORELAI
Oh, my goodness. Well, that's good news, because onesies are the exact opposite of pancakes. They're totally impossible to screw up. You can slap anything on a onesie and it looks cute.

RORY
Anything?

LORELAI
Yeah. Alligator, fried egg, tools -- these are not generally considered cute items.

RORY
"I'll take the adorable Phillips-head --" not something you hear normally.

LORELAI
But you put that on a little onesie...

RORY
You're right - it's pretty damn cute.

LORELAI
So cute. All right, we got streamers and balloons, and the cake's in the fridge. The chairs are getting delivered later. All we have to do now is go home and decorate.

RORY
But did we agree on one table for presents or two?

LORELAI
One.

RORY
Well, don't you think two would be better?

LORELAI
One is fine.

RORY
Okay. But I'm not going for "fine," you know? Lane's shower cannot be fine. I want it to be great.

LORELAI
It will be.

RORY
Yeah but how do you know? I mean we don't exactly have the best track record. Lane's bachelorette party, we ended up in Brian's Aunt's basement. 

Rory's cell phone rings.

LORELAI
Well, it was your first pancake.

RORY
Hmm. Hold on. 
(into phone)
Hello? Yes, this is Rory. Um... 
(to Lorelai)
New York Times.

Both girls are excited.

RORY
(into phone)
Hi. Um, thank you for calling me back. Thank you so much. Um. Yes. Uh... a-as a matter of fact, I will be. The corner of 9th and -- great. Um, okay. Uh, I'll see you then. 

She ends the call.

RORY
Oh, my god.

LORELAI
The New York Times?

RORY
The New York Times!

LORELAI
They called you?

RORY
Oh my...

LORELAI
Why did they call you?

RORY
Well...

They walk along the town center.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: TOWN SQUARE - DAY

LORELAI
Don't even answer. I mean if I was the New York Times, I would be like, "get me Rory Gilmore on the phone, stat."

RORY
"Stat"?

LORELAI
Whatever the equivalent of "stat" is in the news.

RORY
"Now"?

LORELAI
No! At the New York Times, the language is very fancy. You say "promptly," "presently," "two shakes of a lamb's tail." Why did they call you?

RORY
Well, okay, remember that guy Hugo Gray that I met at Logan's work party, the guy who edits the online magazine?

LORELAI
Yeah, you're writing pieces for him.

RORY
Exactly. well Hugo has an in at the times -- this guy A.J. Abrams. He's an assistant managing editor -- really big. And he gave me A.J.'s number and said that I should call him and see if he would get together with me for coffee so I could pick his brain.

LORELAI
A.J.'s brain?

RORY
Well, Hugo's brain had been picked clean.

LORELAI
Hmm.

RORY
But, yeah, I called A.J., And I never heard anything back. I didn't think he was gonna call me, but that was him just now on the phone, and he said that if I was gonna be in the city tomorrow around 1:00, he could meet me for coffee. And I said, "oh, well, as a matter of fact, I will be." He said something about a place on 9th, and I said, "okay," and he said, "see you tomorrow," and I said, "see you then."

LORELAI
Oh, my god, if this is any indication of the crackling spitfire dialogue to come at your coffee tomorrow -- ha!

RORY
Well this is the worst possible time, but I just couldn't say no.

LORELAI
No, you couldn't say no. I mean, let's face it. "Top Chef" is a long shot. This is the New York Times.

RORY
I know but I have so much to do to get ready for Lane's baby shower.

LORELAI
I'll take care of it.

RORY
Are you sure?

LORELAI
Yes, I'm like a professional party-thrower.

RORY
Well, I know, but...

LORELAI
No buts.

RORY
Okay, I mean -- that would be great. I should probably spend the night at Logan's tonight. My laptop's there. I need to print out my résumé. I should. God, I need to prepare. I mean he's gonna expect me to ask him really intelligent questions.

LORELAI
Honey you've been asking intelligent questions since you were 3.

RORY
Yeah I know, he's probably expecting something a little more sophisticated.

LORELAI
Than "what is a color?" ‘cause that one, like, blew my mind.

RORY
Mm. Something a little more newspaper-related, at the very least.

LORELAI
You're gonna be great.

RORY
I hope so I mean even if they don't have an opening there, he knows people all across the country, you know? If I impress him, he can probably set me up with some really good leads.

LORELAI
Yeah, well, tell him your mother thinks you're spectacular.

RORY
I will do. Oh, my god. The New York Times called me -- and not the subscriptions department.

>_END OF SHOW_<

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

Lorelai is decorating. Sookie is reading a magazine in a chair.

LORELAI
How's the sign? Is it straight?

SOOKIE
Oh, it's cute. Oh the S, that's funny.

The banner that Lorelai hung up reads: "Congratulations! It's a boyS"

LORELAI
Thanks.

SOOKIE
Not what you asked.

LORELAI
No.

SOOKIE
Hit me again.

LORELAI
Is the sign straight?

SOOKIE
Uh, perfect.

LORELAI
Great.

SOOKIE
Ooh, Angelina and Brad had their baby... months and months ago!

LORELAI
Yeah, you're a little behind the times.

SOOKIE
This is the problem with having two kids under the age of 4 -- world events just, you know, pass you by.

LORELAI
Are you done with those favors?

SOOKIE
Mm-hmm. I cannot believe Britney is driving with her baby on her lap like that. What is she doing with that guy, by the way?

LORELAI
Well, you'll be glad to know they've since broken up, although it turns out he was kind of a stabilizing influence in her life. Who knew!

SOOKIE
You're kidding.

LORELAI
Um Hmm. I know -- why don't you blow up some more balloons or hang some streamers?

SOOKIE
I would love to, but it seems like the baby really wants me to just keep sitting here and reading “In Touch”.

LORELAI
You know that excuse expires the minute you pop that baby out.

SOOKIE
Yep, but I've got 128 lazy days left.

LORELAI
Hey, why don't you go through the stack of pictures? ‘Cause Rory is looking for one of Lane that she wants to blow up.

SOOKIE
Ooh, baby pictures -- fun! What do we got? Oh, god. Ooh! This one is so cute.

LORELAI
That's just of Rory, though.

SOOKIE
I know. She was just an itty-bitty, teeny, little, cutie-patootie, wasn't she?

LORELAI
Yeah, she's cute.

SOOKIE
(high-pitched voice)
Oh, she weally, weally was, wasn't she?

LORELAI
Seriously, with the voice...

SOOKIE
Well, sorry. I'm hormonal. I just can't believe this wittle girl might be working at the New York Times.

LORELAI
Yeah she's not so wittle anymore. Hey, less Rory, more Lane.

SOOKIE
Don't blame me. I'm not the one that got camera-happy for this Rory kid.

LORELAI
Alright you know what I'm gonna call Mrs. Kim. She'll have some good ones. Have you seen the phone?

SOOKIE
See, the thing is, when I sat down, I realized it was behind me, kind of right on my lower back, and normally I would have, you know, pulled it out, but it's really kind of hitting just the right spot where I've had a knot for like a week. Did I mention I was pregnant? 

Sokie hands Lorelai the phone.

INT. NEW YORK: LOGAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Logan comes home, it's night and the room is dark. Logan enters and throws his coat which knocks over something, waking up Rory.

RORY
Logan?

Rory turns on the light.

LOGAN
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go back to bed. Go back to bed.

RORY
Logan, it's really late.

LOGAN
I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go back to bed. 

He looks in the fridge.

LOGAN
Is this all the cheese that we have? I could have sworn we had more cheese.

RORY
It's 3:00 in the morning.

LOGAN
I know. 

He chucks something to Rory.

LOGAN
Here, keep that closed. We're gonna need that in the sandwich-making process.

RORY
Where were you?

LOGAN
What? I was at work.

RORY
What you were at work till 3:00 in the morning?

LOGAN
I work till 3:00 all the time. I mean, not tonight -- tonight, I worked till about 10:00, and that's when Philip and I. We got something to drink, and then a little something turned into a lot of something.

RORY
Yeah!

LOGAN
Who keeps bread in the refrigerator? I hate cold bread. God, these twist ties are impossible.

RORY
Okay, move.

LOGAN
What?

RORY
I'll make you a sandwich.

Rory starts making him a sandwich.

LOGAN
You will?

RORY
Yes, I will.

LOGAN
Oh, you're so sweet.

RORY
Well, I'm not being sweet. You're just making a mess.

LOGAN
I should have called you.

RORY
Yes, you should have.

LOGAN
Uh-oh. You're mad.

RORY
Yes, I'm mad. I was worried about you. I called you four times before I went to sleep, okay? You didn't answer, no call back.

LOGAN
I'm sorry.

RORY
You're sorry?

LOGAN
Well, my phone was on "off." Which totally sounds like it's on, but it's not. It's on "off," which is on "off." On "off," got it?

RORY
I get it.

LOGAN
What, I'm not allowed to go out with my friends every once in a while? I work hard, okay? I, Life is hard. I just -- I need to...

RORY
You need to what?

LOGAN
I need you to not be doing this right now, okay? You know what, forget the sandwich. I'm just gonna go to bed.

Logan takes of his jacket and climbs into bed fully dressed. Rory sighs.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

Zach is with a customer.

ZACH
So you're telling me you won't eat this oatmeal?

CUSTOMER
These are rolled oats repeatedly cut, twice steamed, and processed extensively.

ZACH
And the oatmeal you thought you were ordering was...

CUSTOMER
Steel cut, which are whole-grain oats, retaining the more natural, nutty flavor of the original oat kernels.

ZACH
Okay, okay. I think I got it. You're like an analog guy with a CD. You miss the vinyl's cool scratches and pops. I think I can work with that. 

He goes back to the counter. 

ZACH
(to Luke)
This dude over here wants to replace this with some sort of steel oatmeal.

LUKE
Tell him we've got it but it takes forever to cook, and then deliver those plates to table 5.

ZACH
I'm on it.

Zach walks off.

KIRK
Luke, check it out. I've been published.

LUKE
You have?

KIRK
Mother wanted to sell her dinette set, so I put pen to paper, got my creative juices flowing, and voil.

LUKE
You put a want ad in the stars hollow gazette?

KIRK
It's a powerful feeling seeing yourself immortalized in print. Sure, it's only newsprint. It rips easily, it comes off on your fingers, and the next day, people use it to wrap fish, but, hey, it's how Dickens got started.

LUKE
In want ads?

KIRK
Man, this thing really flows -- "Vintage dinette set, Formica, barely chipped, priced to move." It's precise, efficient, Hemingwayesque in its terse simplicity. 
(to Zach)
Hey, with two buns in the oven, you wouldn't be interested in a dinette set, would you? Seats four.

ZACH
No, thanks, man. Hey, Luke, you still haven't RSVP'ed for the baby shower.

LUKE
Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna go.

ZACH
Oh, really?

LUKE
Yeah, it's not my thing, you know? But there's a gift for you in the back. You should take it before you leave.

KIRK
Wait -- gifts are required?

ZACH
Oh yeah, that's kind of the whole point. I mean at least that's how Lane talked me into the whole thing.

KIRK
Damn. It's my first baby shower. I've been so caught up with the wardrobe question. Just to clarify, people don't actually dress like babies, do they?

Luke looks up.

ZACH
(to Kirk)
I think what you're wearing is fine, dude.
(to Luke)
Luke, you should come.

LUKE
Yeah, thanks.

ZACH
Look, it's not gonna be too much of a rager -- real mellow vibe, and I promise not too much baby stuff. There won't be anything weird or queer about it at all.

LUKE
I'll think about it.

KIRK
Listen to this one -- "Does the spray of the open ocean call your name?" Evocative, huh? This guy can write. "Sturdy 15-foot fishing boat. Back-to-back seats, closed bow, meticulously handcrafted." How far out of town is 1211 Elmwood?

LUKE
1211 Elmwood?

KIRK
That's what it says here.

LUKE
Let me see that.

Luke looks at the newspaper.

LUKE
That's my boat!

KIRK
Really? How much are you asking? Because I wasn't looking for a boat, but that ad is so snappy, it makes me think I wouldn't mind owning one.

Luke picks up the phone.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, KIM'S ANTIQUES - DAY

Mrs. Kim is talking to a customer.

MRS. KIM
So what's it going to be, yes or no?

CUSTOMER
Well I really like them. I'm just not sure how they're gonna work in the room.

MRS. KIM
They will work they are teak. Teak is a hard working wood.

CUSTOMER
How about I take them out on memo?

MRS. KIM
Memo?

CUSTOMER
You know. Bring them home, see how they look, if I like them, then I'll buy them.

MRS. KIM
No I do not work with memos, I work with money. You buy them then and you take them home.

Lorelai enters from the front door.

CUSTOMER
What if they don't fit next to the bed.

MRS. KIM
Then you get a new bed.

They customer walks off.

LORELAI
Hi, Mrs Kim.

MRS. KIM
Lorelai.

LORELAI
How's business?

MRS. KIM
People die, go bankrupt, there is always furniture to sell.

LORELAI
Sounds good.

MRS. KIM
You come for pictures of Lane?

LORELAI
Yeah.

MRS. KIM
Here you are.

LORELAI
Thanks.

MRS. KIM
I am giving these to you in pristine condition and I expect that is how they will be returned. Do not cut them up or put glue on the back.

LORELAI
I will do my best. 

Mrs Kim pulls them away from Lorelai's hand again.

LORELAI
I will return them in the condition they were received. 

Mrs. Kim hands them over.

LORELAI
See you at the show.

Lorelai starts to leave.

MRS. KIM
Ah, no you won't.

LORELAI
Why?

MRS. KIM
I'm not going.

LORELAI
Not going to you daughters baby shower, why not?

MRS. KIM
Lane knows why.

LORELAI
Oh there's a problem between you two?

MRS. KIM
Yes.

LORELAI
Maybe you could put it aside for one day?

MRS. KIM
No.

LORELAI
It's that bigger deal?

MRS. KIM
Yes.

LORELAI
Well is there anything Lane can say or do that can change your mind?

MRS. KIM
Yes.

LORELAI
Does Lane know what it is?

MRS. KIM
Yes.

LORELAI
What do I have, like 14 questions left?

MRS. KIM
I have work to do.

LORELAI
Mrs Kim, I know Lane would really like you to be at the shower.

MRS. KIM
Well life is full of disappointments. You can show yourself out.
(to customer)
Too late you cannot buy those tables any more.

LORELAI
Okay then.

Lorelai looks at the packet of pictures.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: BAND APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY

Lane opens the front door.

LORELAI
Hi!

LANE^
Hi!

LORELAI
Wow. Sorry, but, hoo! Wow.

LANE
I know every day, I think I can't possibly get any bigger, and then I do.

LORELAI
Hmm, It's looking homey in here.

LANE
Thanks. According to my book, I'm nesting. I hope it stops soon. It's sort of creeping me out. So, what's up?

LORELAI
Um, well, I wanted to talk to you about your mom.

LANE
Oh.

LORELAI
What happened with you guys?

LANE
Ask her.

LORELAI
No, no, no. I've already been through that. You tell me what happened.

LANE
We got in a fight. And now she says she's not coming to my baby shower. So, fine. She's not coming. I don't care.

LORELAI
Lane.

LANE
I don't. Why should I? She doesn't.

LORELAI
Of course she does.

LANE
Not more than she cares about fried shrimp.

LORELAI
You lost me there.

LANE
Well, last night, my mom was over. Zach had cut out an ad for the sea food festival Red Lobster. He was trying to figure out, if we went there after we had the babies, could we get the endless shrimp but at the kids' price?

LORELAI
No. You can only get the kids' price when accompanied by an adult paying full price.

LANE
That blows.

LORELAI
I know. So then what happened?

LANE
So then my mom sticks her nosy head in and said, "The children are not gonna be eating fried shrimp." And I said, "Not only are my children gonna be eating fried shrimp, they're gonna listen to whatever music they want and go to school dances, and they're not gonna spend their whole lives in church hearing about how doing all that makes them evil. In fact, they'll probably never set foot in a church at all. My kids are gonna have total freedom. End of story."

LORELAI
Total freedom, huh?

LANE
Yep.

LORELAI
Wow, you're just gonna let them follow their passion, no matter what it is?

LANE
Exactly.

LORELAI
What if you get kids who are passionate about religion? I mean you may have kids who want to study the bible.

LANE
Trust me -- my kids are not gonna want to study the bible.

LORELAI
You don't know what your kids are gonna want. You think your mom thought she was gonna get a kid who loved Jane's Addiction?

LANE
Well...

LORELAI
You might get kids who are nuts for Exodus, crazy for Deuteronomy, and then what? You want them hiding their bibles under the floorboards?

LANE
Well, look, if my kids want to go to bible study, they can go to bible study.

LORELAI
Well, see? And then what about church? If they want to go to church, you're not gonna let them, even at Christmas, when they have the manger you know and the petting zoo with the sheep and the donkeys?

LANE
Well, I might take them at Christmas.

LORELAI
Okay so when you say they're never going to church, you don't really mean they're never going to church.

LANE
Okay, not never, never, but mostly never.

LORELAI
Can't you tell your mom that?

LANE
No way.

LORELAI
Can I tell your mom that?

LANE
Okay, if you want, but tell her I am not bending on the shrimp thing.

LORELAI
Well I got you there Fried shrimp is one of the best things on the planet.

LANE
A double whammy -- unclean meat fried in unclean oil.

LORELAI
That doesn't sound as good, but look at it this way. For the first year, your kids probably won't be eating solid food anyway, and I don't think they make mashed fried shrimp.

LANE
So?

LORELAI
So, you could tell your mother that your kids will not eat fried shrimp for at least a year, right?

LANE
Well, technically.

LORELAI
"Technically" is good enough for me. You sit tight. I'll be back.

Lorelai rushes out.

CUT TO:

INT. NEW YORK: LOGAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

Rory is dressed for her meeting, Logan is in bed asleep.

RORY
It's after 12:00. Is anyone alive in there?

LOGAN
I'm alive, but I think my brain is dead.

RORY
I'll alert the transplant team.

LOGAN
You gave away my organs?

RORY
They're waiting on the roof with a cooler.

LOGAN
Ah-ha.

RORY
Take these.

She hands Logan some aspirin and water.

LOGAN
I do will I wake up in a bathtub full of ice with no kidneys?

RORY
If you did, would you feel better or worse?

LOGAN
About the same.

RORY
Your dad's secretary called three times this morning.

LOGAN
Okay, now I feel worse.

RORY
Logan, what's going on?

LOGAN
Nothing.

RORY
You're not gonna call your dad back?

LOGAN
My head grew three sizes overnight. I'm in no condition to talk to anybody. Why are you so dressed up?

RORY
Coffee with the New York Times -- the whole reason why I stayed over last night.

LOGAN
Oh, yeah, that's right. That's today.

RORY
Yes, and Lane's baby shower. I'm gonna need you to be ready to leave for Stars Hollow the second I get back. We're gonna be cutting it really close. Lane's shower starts at 4:00. I should be back by 2:00 or 2:30 at the latest. Got it?

LOGAN
Got it.

RORY
Okay, I'll just come home, grab my outfit, and we'll go. I'm gonna need you to drive because I have to change in the backseat, "Dirty Dancing"-style.

The phone rings.

RORY
Do you want me to get that?

LOGAN
Leave it.

RORY
If you don't want to get up, I can...

LOGAN
I said, "leave it." 
(pause)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 

The ringing continues.

RORY
I better go. I don't want to be late.

Rory leaves. The answering machine starts.

LOGAN
(from answering machine)
It's Logan. Leave a message. 

The answering machine beeps.

DORIS
(from answering machine)
Hi, Logan. It's Doris from your father's office again. If you could just give us a call back here at the office as soon as you get this message. I know you have the number, but just in case...

Logan sinks deeper in to the bed.

CUT TO:

INT. LIZ AND TJ'S HOME, GARAGE - DAY

TJ opens the door, Liz and Luke are behind him. There's a boat in the garage.

TJ
Eh? Look at it. It's just sitting here gathering dust and taking up space.

LIZ
Yeah if we got rid of the boat, we could turn this place into a workshop for my jewelry, and I really could use the space. Doula's gonna be crawling around soon, getting into everything.

TJ
And jewelry-making's really a dangerous business, Luke. You got all those tiny beads -- choking hazards galore.

LIZ
Yeah, babies really like to put stuff in their mouth.

TJ
They can't help it. They get mesmerized. I mean the little suckers look so much like candy or pistachio nuts, you just want to pop them in your mouth.

LIZ
Yeah, so as you can see, we could really use the space.

LUKE
So you were just gonna sell the boat out from under me.

LIZ
Of course not.

TJ
We just figured we'd take an ad, get an offer, see what you say.

LIZ
Yeah, could be great, huh? I mean you get a little extra cash, we get a little extra space.

TJ
Plus, we were thinking maybe you could invest some of the profits from the boat in Liz's business.

LIZ
If you felt like it was the right thing to do.

TJ
But it does kind of make sense since we went through the trouble of selling the boat... and storing it. 

Doula fusses on the baby monitor. Liz and TJ listen to the baby monitor.

TJ
Whoa. Doula alert. Not up yet -- just a squawk.

LUKE
Look, guys, I appreciate your situation here, but I'm not selling the boat. Dad left it to me. It's my boat. End of discussion.

LIZ
Luke.

LUKE
Hey, look, don't worry, all right? I'll find another place to store it.

LIZ
Like where?

LUKE
I don't know. I'll find a place, another place.

LIZ
What's the point of hanging on to it? You're never gonna use it.

LUKE
I might.

LIZ
You might. Dad might.

LUKE
What are you talking about?

LIZ
The boat. Dad spent like what 20 years working on the thing. You spent another 20.

LUKE
So?

LIZ
How many generations are gonna cart this thing around town? Look, get rid of it for your own sake, before you end up like dad.

LUKE
What does that mean?

LIZ
Oh, okay. Okay, forget it.

LUKE
No, I want to know. What does that mean?

LIZ
He was stuck, Luke.

LUKE
He was happy.

LIZ
He was stuck doing the same thing at the same time the same way every day of his life.

LUKE
So? He did the things that made him happy.

LIZ
Dad didn't do stuff 'cause it made him happy. He did stuff because he was afraid to do anything else.

LUKE
Come on, that's crap.

LIZ
Luke, I loved dad as much as you did.

LUKE
Look, he was good to us.

LIZ
Of course he was. I'm just saying sometimes a little change can be a good thing.

LUKE
My boat, my decision. I'm not selling it. All right?

LIZ
Okay.

LUKE
All right.

LIZ
Okay.

LUKE
I'll have it out of here by tomorrow.

Liz sighs.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: STREET - DAY

Lorelai is walking past Westons, her cell phone rings.

LORELAI
(into phone)
Hello?

INT. NEW YORK: COFFEE SHOP - DAY

RORY
(into phone)
How bald do you have to be to be bald?

.INTERCUT - PHONE CONVERSATION

LORELAI
Is this a Zen call? You know I hate those.

RORY
Does it mean completely bald, or does it count if there's no hair on top but a little on the sides?

LORELAI
Well, in my experience, if a man describes himself as bald, there is nary a hair.

RORY
Nice use of "nary."

LORELAI
I'm trying to get you in the New York Times mood, use some fancy language.

RORY
Well, I will remember that if I can ever find the guy. Who knew New York was the bald-guy capital of the world?

LORELAI
Well I think that's on their license plate.

RORY
I'm telling you, they're everywhere, and since I don't know which one A.J. is, every time one walks in the door, I just smile at him.

LORELAI
And let me guess -- they're all smiling back.

RORY
What's wrong with me? What kind of reporter am I going to be if all I got was "bald guy"?

LORELAI
Oh, relax. He knows what you look like, right?

RORY
I just hate this waiting you know. What should I do? Should I go order a coffee without him? Should I wait for him?

Lorelai arrives at the Kim house.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE - DAY

LORELAI
(into phone)
Order coffee. He won't mind.

INT. NEW YORK: COFFEE SHOP - DAY

RORY
(into phone)
Well, I can't, really. I'm at a table I don't even know if I should be sitting down already, but I walked in and it was really crowded, and this woman left her table, so I grabbed it, and now I'm scared to get up because maybe I'll lose it.

.INTERCUT - PHONE CONVERSATION

LORELAI
Keep the table, skip the coffee.

RORY
Really?

LORELAI
Yeah and when he gets there, go decaf.

RORY
Yeah, I know I'm a little nervous, but it's only because doing well at this meeting could mean the difference between interviewing world leaders and standing on street corners with pictures of celebrities in matching outfits asking passersby who wore it best.

LORELAI
You're pretty high stakes.

RORY
I know. Distract me. How's the shower stuff going?

LORELAI
Um...

RORY
Oh, something's wrong!

LORELAI
No, nothing's wrong.

RORY
Oh, I knew it. My second pancake's gonna suck, too.

LORELAI
I've got it all under control. You just focus on finding the right bald guy.

RORY
Oh, another one just walked in.

LORELAI
Oh, head-to-hair ratio?

RORY
Very low. Stand by while I attempt to make eye contact.

LORELAI
Look at it this way -- you're making a lot of bald men feel very good about themselves today.

RORY
I better go.

LORELAI
Knock 'em dead, kid.

Rory smiles at the bald guy. He walks past her.

RORY
Oh, god.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, KIM'S ANTIQUES - DAY

MRS. KIM
So, you're giving me a guarantee for Christmas and Easter.

LORELAI
As a minimum.

MRS. KIM
And there will be a possibility of bible study and no unclean meats for at least a year. That's a start, at least.

LORELAI
So, do we have a deal?


MRS. KIM
No, I never take first offer. This is what I want--

Lorelai starts writing all of this down.

MRS. KIM
Attendance at weekly church services, bible study twice a week, Adventist summer camp, no unclean meats or hydrogenated oils, Christmas will be celebrated with no gifts, and there will be no sandboxes or parties with pony rides.

LORELAI
What's wrong with ponies?

MRS. KIM
Flies buzzing around, carrying infectious diseases.

LORELAI
Alright no infected ponies, fine. But sandboxes? I mean, come on. Kids play, they go to the park. You have to be reasonable.

MRS. KIM
It is not reasonable for Lane to think that she will raise my grandchildren as heathens while I stand by and do nothing.

LORELAI
I understand, Mrs. Kim. It's a really sensitive subject.

MRS. KIM
No, you don't. Your daughter doesn't reject everything you stand for.

LORELAI
But Lane is not rejecting you. You guys are just different. God knows my mother and I had differences.

MRS. KIM
Yes. God does know.

LORELAI
Look... there are times when you have to put those differences aside. Like, you know Joseph, from the bible, and how his brothers got all mad at him about that dreamcoat. Yes, and so they sold him into slavery.

LORELAI
Yeah. I don't think that was in the musical. The point is there are fights you can recover from and fights you can't, and not going to your daughter's baby shower -- I mean, I know it's hard, but I don't want you to draw a line in the sand now that you can't cross later. My mother missed so much. I don't want that to happen to you.

They smile at each other.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, APARTMENT - DAY

Luke is on the couch and dials the phone.

INT. NEW MEXICO: ANNA NARDINI'S HOUSE - DAY

APRIL
(into phone)
Hello?

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, APARTMENT - DAY

LUKE
(into phone)
Hey.

.INTERCUT - PHONE CONVERSATION

APRIL
Hey, dad.

LUKE
How was swim practice?

APRIL
Drills, drills, drills. Coach Scott made us swim with our fists closed.

LUKE
What does that do?

APRIL
Probably nothing -- just looks funny. Oh I did get to work on my backward racing start.

LUKE
How'd that go?

APRIL
Not so good. I think I ended up with half the pool up my nose.

LUKE
Eh, you'll get better.

APRIL
Can't get much worse.

LUKE
So, how's your mom doing?

APRIL
Good. Little stressed about the new store. She likes the space, but she's not sure about the location. Strip malls bum her out.

LUKE
Huh.

APRIL
So what's going on?

LUKE
Nothing. You know, business as usual. I saw your cousin Doula today. She looks good. She's getting bigger.

APRIL
You promised you'd send me new pictures.

LUKE
I will. I will. So, look, I was thinking about this summer when you come to visit.

APRIL
I can't wait.

LUKE
Yeah, me too. So, I was thinking maybe we should take a trip.

APRIL
A trip?

LUKE
Yeah, a big one, you know? I mean you're gonna be here for what like six weeks, right? So maybe we should just take off.

APRIL
And go where?

LUKE
You know, I don't know. I was thinking Florida.

APRIL
Florida?

LUKE
Yeah, you know, go down to ... Disneyworld.

APRIL
You want to go to Disneyworld?

LUKE
Yeah. You know you've never been there. I've never been there. We could fly down to Florida and check out Miami Beach and then go to... Disneyworld.

APRIL
I-I can't imagine you at Disneyworld -- or at the beach, for that matter.

LUKE
W-why not?

APRIL
I don't know -- riding roller coasters, getting your picture taken with Mickey Mouse. I'm just having trouble picturing it.

LUKE
Yeah, well...

APRIL
Look, dad, you don't have to do this. It's okay. I mean I'm looking forward to the summer and all, but it's not like I'm expecting anything.

LUKE
Oh, no, sure.

APRIL
I mean, I'm fine just hanging out at the diner like we always do -- wipe down tables, refill salt and pepper shakers. It's our thing. Really, honestly, it's fine.

LUKE
Uh... oh, okay.

APRIL
Oh, mom wants to talk to you real quick about some travel stuff for my spring break. But don't hang up when you're done, 'cause I want to read you something I wrote.

LUKE
Oh, yeah?

APRIL
We had to write a five-page fictional story featuring someone we know as the hero, and I chose Kirk. It's hilarious. I'll give you to mom, and I'll get the story.

LUKE
Okay, great.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: BAND APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY

The doorbell rings. Lane opens the front door, Lorelai and Mrs. Kim are standing there.

LORELAI
Hi. Can we come in?

LANE
Sure. Whatever.

They come in

LORELAI
Isn't that nice? So great. Okay.

They sit down

LORELAI
Here we go. So...

MRS. KIM
So.

LANE
So, what?

LORELAI
Your mother has something she'd like to say to you.

MRS. KIM
(to Lorelai)
You say it.

LORELAI
(to Mrs. Kim)
Me? Um... you'll jump in? Okay.
(to Lane)
Uh, Lane, um... your mother realizes that the two of you have differences. She might not always agree with all of your decisions.

MRS. KIM
No "might." She doesn't agree.

LANE
I know. You've made yourself perfectly clear.

LORELAI
Lane.

LANE
Sorry. Go on.

LORELAI
She doesn't agree with all your decisions. However, she knows how much you love and respect her. Don't you, Lane?

LANE
Of course I do.

LORELAI
And she'd very much like to come to your shower.

LANE
Really?

LORELAI
Really.

LANE
Thank you, mom.

Lane stands up.

LANE
Oh!

MRS. KIM
Lane?

LORELAI
You okay?

LANE
I think so.

MRS. KIM
What's wrong? Are you going into labor?

LANE
I don't know. I've never been in labor before.

LORELAI
You might have had a contraction. We'll wait and see if you have another...

MRS. KIM
There will be no waiting. You will drive us to the hospital right now. Hurry, Lorelai.

LORELAI
Okay.

MRS. KIM
Careful, Lane. Wait. I'll get it. 

She opens the door.

LORELAI
Uh, well, okay.

MRS. KIM
Careful

LORELAI
You got it. All right. Here we go.

They leave.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: BAND APARTMENT, LANE'S BEDROOM - DAY

Lane is in bed with Zach next to her, Lorelai and Mrs Kim are tucking her in.

LANE
I can't believe I'm on bed rest. This sucks.

LORELAI
Oh, come on, haven't you ever had one of those lazy Sundays where you stay in bed all day? Just think of this as one long lazy Sunday.

ZACH
Yeah baby, plus you get to eat all your meals on trays, that's pretty cool. And I'm gonna hang out with you, just like John and Yoko.

LANE
This is your fault.

MRS. KIM
Mine? 
(to Lorelai)
See what I deal with?

LORELAI
Lane.

LANE
We shouldn't have gone to the hospital.

MRS. KIM
Better I watch my daughter writhe in pain?

LANE
I wasn't writhing. Lorelai, tell her I wasn't writhing.

LORELAI
You know does it really matter who was or wasn't writhing? I mean your mom was worried about you.

LANE
Yeah, right. She's probably happy.

MRS. KIM
Why would I be happy?

LANE
Because now I can't have my party.

MRS. KIM
Lane Van Gerbig, what is wrong with you? Parties are not the most important thing in life.

LANE
I know.

MRS. KIM
Do you?

LANE
Of course. It's just that this one is my last.

LORELAI
Why is it your last?

LANE
I'm about to be a mother.

LORELAI
Um, mothers can have parties.

LANE
Not for themselves. They only do things for their children. She did everything for me. And... I'm... gonna be the same way.

MRS. KIM
You will have the party.

LANE
How?

MRS. KIM
Uh... Lorelai will figure something out.

ZACH
Cool!

CUT TO:

INT. NEW YORK: LOGAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

Rory walks in. Logan is sitting on the couch watching TV.

RORY
Hello. I'm home.

LORELAI
Hey. How'd it go?

RORY
Awesome. Logan! You're not dressed! It's 2:30. You were supposed to be dressed and ready.

LOGAN
I'm dressed.

RORY
But not for Lane's shower. Come on, get up. Let's go.

LOGAN
Wait, wait. Sit down. Tell me how it went.

RORY
I'll tell you on the way. Come on.

LOGAN
Wait. Sit down. I have to tell you something.

RORY
Well, that doesn't sound so good.

Rory sits down.

LOGAN
It's not. Look, I screwed up, okay? Big-time.

RORY
What's going on?

LOGAN
The company I bought, the new business I was trying to start? It's a bust.

RORY
What?

LOGAN
We're going belly-up because of me. I lost everybody's money -- my money, my dad's money, all our investors' money, the parking-lot attendant's money, the hot-dog vendor's money. I lost money I didn't even know I had.

RORY
Logan, be serious.

LOGAN
I am.

RORY
Well... if you are, then back up a step. Explain this to me.

LOGAN
There's nothing to explain. The second we bought this company, all these lawsuits came out of the woodwork.

RORY
So...

LOGAN
So one of them has merit, which means we're screwed -- no money, no jobs, no nothing.

RORY
Um... I don't understand. How long have you known about this?

LOGAN
Weeks.

RORY
Weeks? Why didn't you say something about it to me?

LOGAN
I don't know. I thought maybe I could fix it, you know? I was looking for loopholes.

RORY
Well, you can keep looking. You'll find one.

LOGAN
No, we can't. Look, it's over. Philip and I got the final call last night from our patent lawyers. Their case is solid. There's nothing we can do but settle. I screwed up, okay? I rushed in. I didn't do my research. It's all my fault.

RORY
Well, I'm sure that's not true. I'm sure there's something...

LOGAN
Rory, you're not getting this. This is huge. This isn't something you can fix with a plucky, good attitude and a can-do spirit.

RORY
Well, I'm just trying to help.

LOGAN
I know.

RORY
Well, what about your dad? What's he say about all this?

LOGAN
I haven't talked to him.

RORY
Logan, you're gonna have to talk to him.

LOGAN
Rory, don't give me any grief about this. Any minute now, Mitchum is gonna be busting through that door chomping at the bit to tell me what a gigantic failure I am.

RORY
God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about all this.

LOGAN
I know you are.

RORY
Well, you'll get through it. We'll get through it. I mean, whatever happens, we'll figure it out together.

LOGAN
Sure. And I'm sorry about today. I just can't deal with a baby shower.

RORY
No, I know. I get it. I mean the minute it's over, I will come back, and I'll bring cake.

LOGAN
You don't have to hurry.

RORY
I want to.

LOGAN
No it's cool, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna be here.

RORY
You're going out?

LOGAN
I'm gonna go to Vegas with Colin and Finn.

RORY
What?

LOGAN
Yeah I just need to blow off steam for a couple days.

RORY
With Colin and Finn.

LOGAN
It's perfect timing. Colin's got his dad's jet all gassed up at Teterboro. I'm gonna meet him in an hour.

RORY
To go to Vegas with Colin and Finn.

LOGAN
Yeah. Finn bought a racehorse with George Maloof. How hilarious is that? I'm gonna go take a shower.

RORY
Um are you kidding me? This is really what you want to do?

LOGAN
I just need a break, okay? 

He kisses Rory in the cheek.

LOGAN
Tell Lane I said congrats.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

Kirk enters.

KIRK
Word on the street is you want to sell your boat.

LUKE
I called you Kirk.

KIRK
Yeah but I was on the street what I got that call and to be honest with you, I was a little surprised to hear about this turn of events.

They walk out.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

They boat is on the side of the road.

LUKE
It's not a turn of events Kirk. I just want to sell my boat.

KIRK
But you've always been really attached to this boat. Hell I thought you'd take it to your grave with you, maybe you'd row yourself across the River Styx.

LUKE
Yeah well turns out I'm not using it, you interested?

KIRK
It does suit me and it would be great for water skiing. Lulu loves water skiing. She also loves carriage rides. You're not selling a carriage are you?

LUKE
Just the boat Kirk.

KIRK
Hmmm.

LUKE
You interested or not?

KIRK
How much we talking?

LUKE
$600.

KIRK
I was thinking more around three.

LUKE
Price isn't negotiable.

KIRK
Okay 400.

LUKE
Non negotiable $600 price includes everything Kirk, even the trailer.

KIRK
590.

LUKE
$600, Kirk.

KIRK
595 and you throw in a life preserver and a captain's hat?

LUKE
600 and you buy your own captain's hat.

KIRK
But you'll throw in a life preserver?

LUKE
Deal. Just have it out of here A.S.A.P.

Luke goes back in the diner.

KIRK
Sucker.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Everyone is setting up for the baby shower.

LORELAI
Oh, plates and cups right by the food. Art supplies over at the onesies table. Thanks. Hey, Sookie, I forget -- are these edible or soap?

SOOKIE
Soap.

LORELAI
Hmmm. Oh, this is a party favor -- not near the candy pacifiers.

BABETTE
Sugar, what do you think? Is it straight?

LORELAI
It looks great. Patty, how are you doing?

MISS PATTY
Adorable. There is nothing cuter than a baby in a onesie -- except, of course, Anthony Quinn in a onesie.

LORELAI
I'll take your word for it.

Rory runs up to her mom.

RORY
Mom!

LORELAI
Hey! How'd it go?

RORY
Why did the baby shower get moved to miss patty's?

LORELAI
Oh, it's a long story. Now tell me about the meeting.

RORY
It was great. It was, it was so great. But, uhm, what's going on here?

LORELAI
Okay "Great's" not gonna do it. I need big, juicy details. All right, Lane had contractions. She went to the hospital, but it was a false alarm. She's okay. She is on bed rest.

RORY
What?

LORELAI
I know. But now, tell me, from the moment that the right bald guy smiled at you -- and walk.

RORY
Why are we going?

LORELAI
How are your shoes?

RORY
My shoes?

LORELAI
Good arch support? Good traction? Good.

RORY
What?

CUT TO: STARS HOLLOW: STREET - DAY

Lane is in her bed and it is being pushed down the street but Lorelai, Rory, Zach and Mrs Kim. They are going past Luke's.

MRS. KIM
Slow down.
(to a car)
Hold it! Hold it. Too fast.

LANE
Mom, I'm fine. Hey, this is fun. Don't they push a bed through the streets in the opening credits of "The Monkees"?

ZACH
I'm pretty sure it was a bathtub.

LORELAI
Actually it was both -- Davy's in the bed. Peter's in the bathtub.

ZACH
Are you sure? 'Cause I could have sworn...

RORY
Oh Zach, you don't want to go head-to-head with her about "Monkees" trivia.

MRS. KIM
(to a car driver)
You did not come to a full stop! And use your blinkers!

ZACH
Okay, we're turning around. Okay, hold on, Lane!

They turn the bed to face:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - DAY

MRS. KIM
Hold on. Are you ready? Here we go. Hold tight. You all right?

They push the bed backwards up a ramp going over the front steps into Miss Patty's.

LANE
Yep. I'm good.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - DAY

They baby shower is underway.

*Music: Rachel Sweet "B-A-B-Y"*

MUSIC
Baby oh, baby I love to call you baby baby oh, my baby I love for you to call me baby, when it's sweet...

LORELAI
Looking good. You done there, Patty?

MISS PATTY
I'm done. How you doing, hon?

LORELAI
Oh, doing great.

MISS PATTY
Yeah? I mean about the whole Christopher thing.

Babette, Lulu and Gypsy look up from the custom onesies table.

LORELAI
Oh, um... fine, you know, moving forward, moving on.

MISS PATTY
Good.

BABETTE
If you ask me, Gil's the one to beat.

LORELAI
Oh, yeah, I saw him do that whole thing freehand.

LULU
(gushing)
He's an amazing man.
(seriously)
As is Kirk.

LORELAI
Don't worry, Lulu. It's the rock-star thing.

MISS PATTY
Dean Martin singing "Mambo Italiano" -- I will never forget it.

GYPSY
Oh, great. I need another one.

LORELAI
Oh, no, no. What are you doing? Well, I was trying to make a little truck, but the flatbed kept running around to the back.

LORELAI
Well, no do-overs, so just turn that into something else.

BABETTE
Yeah I tried to make Snoopy -- figured he's easy to draw, and what kid doesn't like Snoopy, right? Plus, as the added bonus, he's black-and-white, and the onesie's already white, so I only got to add the black. But it's looking more like a chocolate-chip cookie, a big one -- which is okay, 'cause what kid doesn't like a cookie?

GYPSY
What am I supposed to turn this into?

BABETTE
I don't know -- a blob?

LORELAI
Make it a bunch of blobs - you know, a baby's first Rorschach test.

MISS PATTY
Oh, yeah. I see a ballerina about to take flight.

BABETTE
I see cheese.

LORELAI
See? Something for everyone. All right, have fun.

Lorelai walks off. Gil and Brian are looking at hypothetical images of Lane's and Zach's boys.

GIL
Whoa! This one's homely, man. Look it's got Zach's giant ears and Lane's glasses. I feel for that kid. Gonna have a rough life. But it will probably help to fuel his music. You know, you got to feel pain to create the really good stuff. Yeah, this one's gonna get the chicks, but that one's gonna be the genius.

BRIAN
You know these aren't what Lane and Zach's kids are really gonna look like. It's one of those computer morphing programs.

GIL
Yeah, dude. I have kids. I know how it works.

Lane and Zach are in the bed greating guests.

LANE
(to guest)
Thanks for coming.

Gil and Brian walk up.

GIL
(to Zach)
Yo, hello. What's up, guys?

Rory stands on a chair near the bed.

RORY
Hi, everyone. Um I don't want to interrupt the fun. I just wanted to say thank you for coming to this somewhat unconventional baby shower, which is actually perfect, because when do Lane and Zach ever do anything that's conventional?

Cheers and applause.

RORY
I've known Lane now for -- what has it been? 17 years?

LANE
Yeah.

RORY
And... I'm just sick of her already.

Laughter.

RORY
No, actually, I just love you and Zach so much, and I just can't wait to meet those boys. So thank you so much for coming. Keep having fun. And just eat, drink, and keep decorating those onesies. 

Rory hops off the chair. Cheers and applause. Rory sits on the bed with Zach and Lane.

ZACH
Thanks, Rory. This party rocks.

RORY
Ah, it's all due to my mom, though. I planned, she executed.

ZACH
Well, you both rock.

RORY
Well, how often does a girl's best friend have twins?

LANE
Just once, let's hope.

ZACH
Yeah, no kidding. You want a drink, babe?

LANE
Maybe a lemonade.

ZACH
Coming right up.

Zach leaves.

LANE
Seriously, Zach's right. This party is amazing. Everything you guys did -- truthfully, I didn't think it was actually gonna happen.

RORY
Yes well, that whole bed-rest thing really threw a wrench in.

LANE
Plus the fight.

RORY
What fight?

LANE
You didn't hear about the fight? Me and my mum, classic Kim family grudgefest? If not for your mom, we might have gone the way of Pretty Girls Make Graves. They were so young and had so many killer albums left in them.

RORY
So my mom brokered peace?

LANE
Hard-core. Listen... here's the thing. Um... my kids are gonna need that, too -- you know, when they're hiding bibles and they can't stand me. So what I wanted to know is... would you be their Lorelai Gilmore? I guess that's the proper term.

RORY
Really?

LANE
I can't think of anyone who would be better. Plus, you already have the name.

RORY
I'd love to. Yeah. Thanks.

Lorelai looks on as Lane and Rory hug. Mrs. Kim hands her a paper bag.

MRS. KIM
Here.

LORELAI
Hi, Mrs. Kim. What's this?

MRS. KIM
Open it.

LORELAI
It's a doorknob.

MRS. KIM
Not just any doorknob -- John Adams' doorknob. You are familiar with our second president, I assume?

LORELAI
Not personally.

MRS. KIM
You're making a joke?

LORELAI
Little one.

MRS. KIM
That's what I thought. Anyway, I'm glad to be here, and I wanted you to know that.

LORELAI
Hence the doorknob.

MRS. KIM
Yes.

LORELAI
Thank you.

MRS. KIM
Don't tarnish it, or its value will decrease.

LORELAI
Okay.

MRS. KIM
Do you have my pictures?

LORELAI
I-I-I left them at home. I'll drop them off tomorrow.

MRS. KIM
You do that.

Mrs. Kim walks off. Lorelai greets Sookie and Jackson at the present table.

LORELAI
Hey, you guys.

JACKSON
Hey.

SOOKIE
Hey, you. Way to go. It's a great party.

LORELAI
It is, right? I could have used another gift table, though.

JACKSON
Yeah, somebody went crazy.

SOOKIE
I wouldn't say "crazy."

JACKSON
Wait -- that's all from us?

SOOKIE
Well, I felt bad. I had already promised them all of our old stuff from Martha and Davey, and then I had to renege.

JACKSON
So they get all new stuff, and we have to keep all the crappy hand-me-downs? How does that make any sense?!

Sookie rubs his belly.

SOOKIE
Whose fault is this, huh?

LORELAI
Nice talking to you. See you later.

Lorelai walks off and into Kirk whose wearing a sailor outfit.

KIRK
Ahoy, Lorelai.

LORELAI
Yeah, Kirk. What's with the hat?

KIRK
Oh, this? No big deal. Just bought myself a boat.

LORELAI
A boat?

KIRK
Yeah, the S.S. Lurk. It's a combination of my name and Luke's since it used to be his boat.

LORELAI
Oh, you bought Luke's boat.

KIRK
Yeah, she needs a little more work before she's seaworthy, but as soon as she is, I'll take you out. You can be Ginger to Lulu's Mary Ann. Let's lock down dates now. When are you free?

Rory walks up.

RORY
Mom.

LORELAI
Oh, well, we'll figure it out later. Bye.

Kirk salutes goodbye. Rory and Lorelai walk out.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - NIGHT

Lorelai and Rory put on coats as they exit.

LORELAI
Perfect timing. You save me from a three-hour tour of the S.S. Lurk.

RORY
The what?

LORELAI
Ah Kirk bought Luke's old boat.

RORY
Does he even have a driver's license?

LORELAI
I don't think so.

RORY
Well, I'm staying out of the water.

LORELAI
Good kid.

RORY
(Giggle) Why didn't you tell me about the whole drama with Mrs. Kim?

LORELAI
Honey you had your meeting. You were nervous enough already.

RORY
Yeah, I was, wasn't I? Oh you got the whole brunt of that freak-out. I'm so sorry.

LORELAI
That's okay. So do you think it went well?

RORY
I do I think it went really well. I mean, the Reston fellowship is a long shot. They only pick four people out of the whole country, and that's including college seniors and graduate students. So?

LORELAI
So you and three other people.

RORY
Yeah, but can you imagine it? I would be an intern at the New York Times. I would be up for bi-lines.

LORELAI
I can imagine it.

RORY
Well I don't want to get my hopes up, so I'm just not even gonna think about it.

LORELAI
Can I think about it?

RORY
Yes, but not around me.

LORELAI
Deal. So, when is Logan getting here?

RORY
Oh. He's not.

LORELAI
Why?

RORY
Um... it's a long story. I guess there was this huge disaster at his work.

LORELAI
Oh, no.

RORY
Yeah, I guess the company he bought is being sued, and he's losing all kinds of money -- not only his own money, his dad's money. It's awful, and he feels awful. At least that explains why he's acting awful.

LORELAI
What do you mean?

RORY
Well, right now, he's on a private jet to Vegas with Colin and Finn.

LORELAI
Ahh, "Got kicked out of Argentina with the Bush twins" Colin and Finn? I'm so sorry. You okay?

RORY
Yeah, I'm fine. I mean I just kinda wish that he'd told me about this earlier, you know that I'd known it was going on. Maybe I could have helped.

LORELAI
Honey I don't think there's anything you could have done.

RORY
Yeah, I know, but maybe I could have tried, you know? And now he just took off, which -- I get it. He needs to blow off some steam, but I just wish he could have come to the party. It would have meant so much to me. He could have met everyone.

LORELAI
I know.

RORY
But I'm sure we'll figure it out. Oh, hey, Lane asked me to be her Lorelai Gilmore to her kids, like you were to her.

LORELAI
Oh!

RORY
Yeah. Big shoes to fill.

LORELAI
Well, luckily, we have similar feet.

Rory giggles.

LORELAI
Oh.

RORY
What?

LORELAI
Oh, it's nothing.

RORY
Come on.

LORELAI
I just think my first pancake turned out pretty darn good.

They smile and giggle. Zach comes out.

ZACH
Hey. Sorry to interrupt.

LORELAI
That's all right.

ZACH
I was just wondering if we should bring the cake out now, because Lane's got that low-blood-sugar look in her eye.

RORY
Oh, yeah, let's do it.

Zach and Rory go back inside, Lorelai looks at the picture collage near the door showing little Lane and little Rory. Luke walks up to Lorelai.

LUKE
Seems like yesterday she was taking up three tables at the diner with those giant books of hers.

LORELAI
Hmm.

LUKE
Yep. She was something. Is something.

LORELAI
So, uh, what's this I hear about Kirk buying your boat?

LUKE
Oh, well... I just realized I was never gonna take that thing out. I mean, all that time I spent trying to fix it up... so I bought a new one.

LORELAI
Wha-- ah, When?

LUKE
Today -- got the idea in my head a couple hours ago, went down to the shipyard in Bridgeport, and just did it.

LORELAI
You just bought a boat.

LUKE
Yeah, yeah and it's even bigger and better than the old one. I mean it's got everything. It's got a little kitchen, a bathroom, even a place to sleep.

LORELAI
Wow.

LUKE
I'm just gonna keep it in the marina you know, And then when April comes to visit in the summer, you know I'll take it out on little trips, you know go away for a few weeks.

LORELAI
Luke, that sounds really nice.

LUKE
Right?

LORELAI
God, I can't believe you bought a boat in a day. It used to take you a week to buy a t-shirt.

LUKE
Yeah, well, things change.

They look at each other for a few seconds.

LUKE
I'll see you inside?

LORELAI
Mm-hmm.

Luke goes in.

RORY (O.S.)
All right, everyone, here comes cake!

ZACH (O.S.)
Ready, fellas. One, two, three, four...

Lorelai goes in.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - NIGHT

Rory pushes the cake toward Lane's bed.

ZACH
(sings)
Hush, little baby, don't say a word papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird and if that mockingbird don't sing papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring and if that diamond ring turns brass papa's gonna buy you a looking glass and if that looking glass gets broke papa's gonna buy you a billy goat and if that billy goat won't pull...

Lorelai smiles as she looks on.

>_END OF SHOW_<