The Annotated Guide to Gilmore girls

>_TEASER_<

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, FRONT YARD - DAY

Lorelai and Rory are staring at their garage.

RORY
Well.

LORELAI
I'd say three years.

RORY
I'd say more like four.

LORELAI
What? It has not been four years since we've stepped foot inside our own garage.

RORY
It was when we got the Jeep.

LORELAI
That wasn't... yes, it was.

RORY
And even then, I think we only got as far as opening the door before something flew out and scared you.

LORELAI
Yes, it scared me while you stood by calmly like Dr. Dolittle chatting with the bat.

RORY
It was a bat, wasn't it?

LORELAI
Wearing an OzzFest T-shit, I believe.

RORY
Will the man never be able to live that down?

LORELAI
Well, Joe Namath will forever be wearing pantyhose.

RORY
True, very true.

LORELAI
So, uh, what do we do about the bat cave?

RORY
Well, we did promise Lane that her band could rehearse here.

LORELAI
Yes, we did.

RORY
And they'll probably need to actually get in there to do so.

LORELAI
So I guess we're going in.

RORY
I guess we are.

LORELAI
All right. On three - one, two, three.

They open the garage doors. It is filled to the brim with stuff.

RORY
Ah!

LORELAI
What, what is it?

RORY
Those are the boxes from our attic that you were supposed to give away two years ago.

LORELAI
What?

RORY
I spent three days boxing all the stuff in the attic and you were going to call a charity and get someone to pick ‘em up.

LORELAI
I made an appointment, the guy didn't show.

RORY
He didn't?

LORELAI
No, I don't think.

RORY
Unbelievable.

They start to take out stuff.

LORELAI
Look, I got bored after sitting there two hours, so I left a note saying the stuff was in the garage and he could leave a receipt, and I went to get some coffee.

RORY
These guys aren't just allowed to go into someone's garage.

LORELAI
Well, the note said it was okay.

RORY
Well, how did he know that the note was authentic?

LORELAI
I wrote it on Powerpuff Girls stationery. Who'd he think was setting him up, Hello Kitty?

RORY
I can't believe how much junk we have.

LORELAI
Hey, these are - these are souvenirs from our life's journey, girly girl. This is not junk. Okay, this is junk, and that over there is junk. All right, basically everything I'm looking at is, yeah, junk.

RORY
We're pack rats.

LORELAI
We're Sanford and Son. Yuck, bye bye.

She throws a stuffed ball out of the garage.

RORY
Wait!

Rory catches the ball.

LORELAI
What?

RORY
Hug-a-World!

LORELAI
What?

RORY
Hug-a-World, it's my Hug-a-World.

LORELAI
Where's the world?

RORY
It's faded.

LORELAI
Oh, wait, I can see something.

RORY
Canada.

LORELAI
Canada, nice. Okay.

Lorelai tries to take the ball away.

RORY
What are you doing?

LORELAI
I'm throwing it out.

RORY
You can't throw out Hug-a-World.

LORELAI
I'm not throwing out Hug-a-World, I'm throwing out Hug-a-Canada.

RORY
I learned my seven continents on Hug-a-World, don't you remember? We used to squeeze it as tight as we could and then wherever our pinkies would end up, that's where we were going to go together when I grew up.

LORELAI
Yes, many a trip to Uzbekistan was planned that way.

RORY
We can clean him up and keep him, can't we?

LORELAI
Throw him outside and I'll see what I can do.

RORY
Thank you.

Rory throws the ball on the floor.

LORELAI
If I clean up Hug-a-World, does that cancel out me not getting rid of the boxers?

RORY
I'll consider it a wash.

Lorelai looks in the direction of the ball.

LORELAI
How about if I chase it and bring it back?

RORY
What?

LORELAI
Hug-a-World would like to see the world.

RORY
It's moving.

LORELAI
There's something living there besides Canadians.

RORY
I hugged it, I hugged it really tight.

LORELAI
Yes, you did.

RORY
I have to shower!

Rory runs away.

LORELAI
Hey, hey, hey, what about the rest of the garage? Rory! Hey, how ‘bout if Lane's band rehearses in the kitchen? We don't use that either.

>_END OF TEASER_<

===

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

There is construction going on outside. Luke tries to take an order over the noise.

LUKE
(to customer)
Can I take...

A buzzsaw whizzes.

LUKE
(to customer)
Can I take...

The buzzsaw whizzes again.

LUKE
(clears throat)
What can I get...

The buzzsaw whizzes again.

LUKE
That's it.

Luke walks outside.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: TAYLOR'S OLDE SODA SHOPPE - DAY

Construction on the new Taylors Old Fashioned Soda Shoppe is underway.

TAYLOR
I specifically requested a carved arch above the door.

TOM
It's a blueprint, Taylor.

TAYLOR
Yes, Tom, I know it's a blueprint.

Luke walks up to Taylor.

LUKE
Taylor!

TAYLOR
One second, Luke. I know it's a blueprint, Tom, but if I don't see a carved archway here, then I don't expect to see a carved archway there, and if I don't see an archway there, then you won't see a paycheck here. Are we clear?

TOM
Get away from my saw, Taylor.

Tom walks away.

LUKE
(to Taylor)
What the hell is going on?

TAYLOR
I'm renovating your building. You know that very well.

LUKE
I also know that the renovation is supposed to be going on over there inside the building.

TAYLOR
There is plenty of room to move around if you turn sideways.

LUKE
I'm gonna punch you in the nose.

TAYLOR
I have every right to make the necessary renovations to the building that I am paying good money to lease.

LUKE
Taylor, if any other person in this town pulled a stunt like this in front of your market, you'd have them arrested.

TAYLOR
I have acquired all the necessary permits to do exactly what I'm doing, and all of this has been looked over and approved by the town magistrate.

LUKE
You're the town magistrate!

TAYLOR
And as such, if you have any complaints about me, you may take them up with me.

TOM
(to Luke)
Get him away from my saw.

LUKE
Get him away from my diner.

TAYLOR
By the way, Luke, I noticed you hadn't returned any of my lawyer's calls about the lease agreement. Now we have to set up an appointment to see that those papers get signed.

LUKE
Forget it. I'm not going through any lawyer. You want those papers signed, you pick them up and you walk them over to me. Then, I'll sign them.

TAYLOR
Luke, this is business. It needs to be done properly and legally.

LUKE
It's a standard lease form, Taylor. I bought it at Office Depot.

TAYLOR
All the more reason to have a professional take a little looksee, huh? I mean, there's a reason they say good lawyers make for good neighbors.

LUKE
Who the hell said that?

TAYLOR
Oh, everybody says that. Okay, now back to work.

Taylor turns back to Tom. Luke walks off.

TAYLOR
Tom, let's take another look at this archway, shall we?

TOM
Get away from my saw, Taylor.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, FRONT YARD - DAY

Lane and the band are setting up in the cleaned-out garage.

LORELAI
(to Rory)
I already talked to the neighbors. Just make sure you keep the doors closed, and the music must stop by eight.

LANE
Don't worry, I have to be home by six.

ZACH
We'll be done by eight, don't you worry.

LORELAI
I won't.

ZACH
Okay, okay, okay, Lorelai, okay.

LORELAI
Uh, so, um, Rory showed you the key. Uh, you're welcome to anything in the kitchen, which is nothing, but, uh, the water's yours for the taking. Just replace the bottle if it's out.

ZACH
You ask, I will obey.

LORELAI
Super.

BRIAN
I'm out!

LORELAI
He's out! I'll get you some more!

LANE
Oh, no, no, don't worry about it. I'll get it.

LORELAI
Okay.
(to Zach)
Oh, excuse me.
(to Rory)
Do you need any help?

RORY
No.

LORELAI
Do you need any help, please?

RORY
I'm good, Pamela Des Barres.

LORELAI
When did you turn on Mommy?

RORY
What? He's cute.

LORELAI
Rory.

RORY
And you know, if you latch on now, you're totally entitled to half of everything when he dumps you after he's famous.

LORELAI
Okay, um, since you don't need any help, simply a new place to live, I'm gonna just go.

Lorelai walks into Zach.

ZACH
(to Lorelai)
Listen...

LORELAI
You're back, okay, hi.

ZACH
We're gonna be playing a gig next month, and I think you'd really get into it.

LORELAI
Oh, well, I'd love to get into it, Zach, but see, I have this medical condition where I can't listen to music.

ZACH
You can't?

LORELAI
No. My ears, the hollow tubey thing inside is very tiny and it will literally explode if I listen to anything loud and musical.

ZACH
That sucks.

LORELAI
I know. Thanks for the invite, I'm sure it's gonna be great. Uh, so, uh, you guys have a good rehearsal. I'm gonna go on inside and write to Tipper. Great gal. See you guys later.

RORY
Bye Pam.

Lorelai walks away.

ZACH
She is some kind of fine.

BRIAN
Zach, some help would be great.

ZACH
Relax.

Zach goes to help Brian.

LANE
I still can't believe you guys are letting us rehearse here.

RORY
You can thank us in the liner notes.

LANE
Right under our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

RORY
That's some good billing. So, are you guys actually playing a gig next month?

LANE
Abby Berland's birthday party. Her parents are letting her have a band.

RORY
That'd be great.

LANE
Cross your fingers she doesn't wreck the car again and her mother doesn't cancel it before we get to play.

RORY
I'll hide the keys myself.

BRIAN
Okay, I'm done.

DAVE
Me too.

ZACH
Let's do this.

DAVE
Listen, Lane, we need to talk a sec.

LANE
Sure.

DAVE
Now that we finally have a real rehearsal space, we can get serious about the sound.

LANE
Absolutely.

DAVE
Which means that I'm gonna need you to really step it up a little.

LANE
Oh.

DAVE
I mean, you've got the potential, but you're sloppy. I need a clean roll on the toms but powerful, like Moon.

LANE
Okay.

DAVE
I know you're a girl, but I need you to play like a guy.

LANE
I understand.

DAVE
And if you can't, if that's too hard...

LANE
No, that's not too hard. I'll be better, I promise.

DAVE
Okay.

Dave walks away. Rory walks up to Lane.

RORY
Okay, please take this the way it's intended, but I am going to kick Dave in the shins repeatedly for the next hour and a half.

LANE
Why?

RORY
Why? Did you hear the way he was talking to you? "Play like a guy, Lane." Well, cry like a girl, Dave!

Lane smiles.

RORY
What? Why are you smiling like that?

LANE
He fooled you.

RORY
What?

LANE
We thought the other guys might be catching on about me and Dave so we came up with this plan.

RORY
That he become a jerk?

LANE
Yes. If the other guys see him talking down to me like that, they will totally be thrown off track.

RORY
Okay, but doesn't it bother you to hear him talk to you like that?

LANE
No way. Believe me, he knows I play better, harder, Moonier than any guy they could possibly find, plus I smell better.

RORY
Okay, as long as you're fine with it.

LANE
I am, I'm fine with it.

DAVE
And also Lane, I need four strong downbeats, not two strong ones and two whatever ones. You set the tone, Lane. If you suck, we suck.

LANE
God, he's wonderful.

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY

Lorelai is sitting at a table as Alex walks over with two little coffee cups.

ALEX LESMAN
Okay, now this is the Sumatra blend. It's supposed to be a little sharper than the Colombian.

LORELAI
You know, this is pretty much what I thought heaven would look like. There might have been a unicorn in the corner, but basically - yeah, this is it. Um, so I've had fifteen of these tiny coffees.

ALEX LESMAN
Yes, you have.

LORELAI
And you're telling me that all this tasting is completely free?

ALEX LESMAN
Yes.

LORELAI
So I'm a cheap date.

ALEX LESMAN
Well, the tasting is free, but I have to promise to stock my coffee chain from this warehouse, so actually this date is costing me about eleven thousand dollars a month.

LORELAI
Geez, I hope I'm worth it.

ALEX LESMAN
So far, so good.

LORELAI
So you were telling me about Hillary and Jeff.

ALEX LESMAN
Right. Well, they live with their mom, but I get them quite a bit. They both recently started soccer because apparently it's the law.

LORELAI
I know. Rory's still got an outstanding warrant on that one. So, how old are they?

ALEX LESMAN
Six and nine.

LORELAI
Good ages.

ALEX LESMAN
Haven't really hit a bad one yet.

LORELAI
Me either. Although, with Rory, I think it's gonna be forty-three.

ALEX LESMAN
Really?

LORELAI
Not sure why, just have a feeling that's the year she's getting the mohawk.

Lorelai takes a sip from the coffe.

LORELAI
Mm, we like sharper. When you guys open your coffee place, this must be on the menu.

ALEX LESMAN
Yeah?

Alex takes a sip.

ALEX LESMAN
Mm, that's sharper.

LORELAI
So, let's see, we've covered work, kids... uh, shall we move onto hobbies?

ALEX LESMAN
Not a hobby guy.

LORELAI
Hallelujah.

ALEX LESMAN
Most of the time I'm working, with the kids, or I'm charming the chicks with the coffee. And then a few times a year, I'll go camping or fishing. I actually really love that stuff.

LORELAI
Oh yeah?

ALEX LESMAN
Absolutely. How about you?

LORELAI
Ah, there's a reason they call it the great outdoors, right?

ALEX LESMAN
I was actually thinking of doing a little fishing this Saturday.

LORELAI
Oh, that sounds like fun.

ALEX LESMAN
This great place, beautiful, perfect fishing. You wanna come?

LORELAI
Huh?

ALEX LESMAN
I'd love to take you.

LORELAI
Oh, yeah, sure. That would be nice.

ALEX LESMAN
Great, it's a date.

LORELAI
Yes, it is a date. It is a fishing date.

ALEX LESMAN
Ready to try another? I hear there's one from Peru that comes with a Surgeon's General warning.

LORELAI
Hey, if that last one didn't kill me, nothing will.

ALEX LESMAN
Be right back.

Alex leavs.

CUT TO:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: BUS STOP - DAY

Rory gets off the bus. Lane runs up to her.

LANE
Rory! Rory! The numbers are all adding up, the planets are aligning, and I am going to my senior prom!

RORY
What?

LANE
Yes!

RORY
How?

LANE
Because I am brilliant. See, my mom was in a good mood today because she made a big sale - a dining room table and eight chairs, none of which matched, that have been hanging around the shop since I was four.

RORY
Oh, I'm gonna miss those.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: SIDEWALK - DAY

LANE
Get over it. Anyway, I sat her down and I told her that I really wanted to go to the prom. And I know she doesn't approve of such things, but if she lets me go, we will do it her way.

RORY
But her way would be not to let you go.

LANE
Yes, she said that also. But then I went on to clarify that if she lets me go, she would get full dress approval, full chaperone approval, I promise not to actually dance at the prom, and whatever boy I go with will be required to attend at least four family dinners before she signs off on him being my escort.

RORY
Nice move on using the word escort instead of the word date.

LANE
The subliminal is half the battle, Rory.

RORY
Go on, go on.

LANE
So, she sat there, took it all in, and after a really long pause, she looks at me and says, "Maybe."

RORY
You got a maybe from Mrs. Kim.

LANE
I got a maybe from Mrs. Kim.

They walk into:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE - DAY

LANE
Okay, let's start with base.

They start shopping.

RORY
Right. Now, we are talking Dave taking you to the prom, right?

LANE
Of course. My mom loves him. Last week she let him sit in our pew.

RORY
No.

LANE
She made me move.

RORY
You've been replaced.

LANE
I'd be offended if I weren't so busy doing a happy dance. It's all working out so perfectly. By the time she says yes, she'll love him even more and then when I say I wanna go to the prom with him, it'll be like she picked him out herself.

RORY
You are brilliant.
(to Kirk)
Hey, Kirk, is this waterproof?

KIRK
Water-resistant.

RORY
Thanks.

LANE
You know, she asked Dave to play at the wedding this weekend.

RORY
I thought I was the only non-Korean allowed at the Kim family weddings.

LANE
Don't be hurt. You have been to so many of these weddings, you are an honorary member of the clan now.

RORY
I appreciate that. So, tell me, your cousin getting married Saturday, what's his story?

LANE
James. Very quiet, kind of skulky, couldn't meet anyone here, so his family arranged to have a girl shipped over from the old country.

RORY
I hope they cut air holes in the box.

LANE
She doesn't speak a word of English and she's never met him.

RORY
Hm. Well, then she's gonna need some sparkles.

LANE
Okay, I think that's it.

RORY
Let's go.

They walk up to the counter.

RORY
Can you imagine marrying someone you didn't know?

LANE
Are you kidding? Used clothes still skeeve me out a little.

KIRK
Will this be all?

RORY
Yes. I like your display Kirk.

KIRK
It is fun, isn't it? Okay, that's $40.42.

Lane hands him the money.

LANE
Here.

KIRK
I'm also including a few samples, a facial scrub and a honey mask. Very soothing, very healing.

RORY
That's very nice.

KIRK
Thank you for coming, and call me and tell me how you like that mask.

RORY
We will.

They walk outside:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE - DAY

LANE
Okay, the wedding's at four, so how about you come over at one and we'll get her ready?

RORY
Deal.

LANE
You know, Rory, I feel good. I feel like everything's going my way this time.

RORY
I hope so.

LANE
No, it is, I can feel it. Lane Kim is going to her prom.

RORY
Maybe.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, KITCHEN - DAY

Sookie is frosting a cake, Lorelai is sitting next to her with her head in her hands.

LORELAI
Dumb, dumb, dumb.

SOOKIE
Oh, come on.

LORELAI
Sure, I fish. I also bodysurf and walk on the moon without a space suit.

SOOKIE
You were trying to impress him.

LORELAI
Ugh.

SOOKIE
What ugh? You like him.

LORELAI
I like him, but I'm not sixteen. I don't lie to guys to make them like me. I just got stuck when he said fishing and camping, and I was trying to be nice and not say, "Fishing? Great - cold, wet, and smelly. My three favorite things after those witches from Macbeth."

SOOKIE
Honey, we all do it. When Jackson and I first started dating, we went to this pickling festival, and he wore a shirt with a giant frog on it. So I'm trying to make conversation and I say, "Hey, cute frog." And he says, "You like frogs?" and I say, "I love frogs!" So, for our six-month anniversary, he gives me a frog figurine.

LORELAI
Aw.

SOOKIE
And then when Christmas came, he gave me another frog figurine. And then he told his family what to get me, and all of a sudden...

LORELAI
Your frog collection!

SOOKIE
I'm the frog girl.

LORELAI
You never told him you don't love frogs?

SOOKIE
No. He has the best time buying them for me, so I just let him buy them.

LORELAI
That's sweet. Maybe I could go fishing. Maybe. Once.

SOOKIE
Tell me about Alex.

LORELAI
Well, he owns an iron company. They do gates and statues, big fancy stuff. He's divorced, he has two kids he's crazy about. He's nice, he drinks a lot of coffee. It's all good, it all works.

SOOKIE
So?

LORELAI
So... I'm going fishing. I'm the fish girl.

SOOKIE
Frog girl welcomes you to the club!

CUT TO:

INT. HARTFORD: CHILTON, STUDENT GOVERNMENT ROOM - DAY

Students are gathering for the student council meeting. Louise and Madeline walk in.

LOUISE
I don't know what to do. It's time to break up, but he seems so happy.

MADELINE
You could date his brother.

LOUISE
I guess, but that's so ‘been there, done that.'

MADELINE
We could switch.

LOUISE
Isn't that how I got him?

MADELINE
Oh yeah. Wow, it really is time to go to college.

A teacher walks in.

TEACHER
Rory, where is Paris?

RORY
I don't know.

TEACHER
She's almost fifteen minutes late.

RORY
Is she?

TEACHER
All right. Well, perhaps we should start without her. You can convene the meeting.

RORY
Okay. If everyone will take their seats, we can call this meeting to order.

Rory bangs the gavel. The students sit down.

RORY
All right, since Paris isn't here--

Paris walks in.

PARIS
Paris is here.
(to Rory)
Couldn't wait to jump in there and take over, could you?

RORY
Tell it to the Timex salesman.

PARIS
My gavel, please?

Rory hands her the gavel. Paris bangs it.

PARIS
I call this meeting to order.

RORY
I already did that.

PARIS
Sorry I'm late, but I had some very important business to attend to. Business which I must now, unfortunately, share with all of you. At the beginning of this year, when we were sworn in as your government representatives, we placed our hand on a bible and we took an oath. An oath that stated that our behavior would be ethically and morally upstanding for as long as we were serving in public office. And that is why it saddens me greatly today to inform you that one of our own has forsaken that holy oath.

MADELINE
I hate anything that starts with a speech.

TEACHER
What are you talking about, Paris?

Paris starts handing out binders.

PARIS
I hold in my hand evidence accusing one Rory Gilmore of committing high crimes and misdemeanors.

RORY
What?

TEACHER
Paris, what's going on here?

PARIS
Miss Gilmore has been conspiring with the various factions of this school to weaken the efficacy of this administration.

RORY
You're really pathetic, you know that?

PARIS
You'll have your chance to address these charges when I'm done.

RORY
What charges?

PARIS
First on the list, espionage.

RORY
Espionage?

PARIS
Gathering privileged information and divulging it to the enemy.

RORY
What privileged information? Prom colors are green and pink, pass it on?

PARIS
Next on our list, the most serious crime - treason.

RORY
I'm sorry I talked about Jamie.

PARIS
And having a big mouth. That's going on the list also.

RORY
I can't believe you're taking all of this out on me. What about Francie?

PARIS
Francie was not my second in command. Francie was not privy to the innermost workings of my personal. That is, not until you made her privy.

RORY
Everyone in school saw you walking with Jamie, Paris.

PARIS
I'm still talking.

RORY
She already knew!

TEACHER
Enough! We've heard enough.

PARIS
I move to put to a vote the impeachment of Rory Gilmore.

RORY
Hey!

TEACHER
Miss Gellar, I'm sorry, but we do not impeach here at Chilton.

PARIS
Why not?

TEACHER
Because this is a student government.

PARIS
Well, then, I'd like to put to a vote a resolution to instate the ability to impeach.

TEACHER
No.

PARIS
Then she should resign.

RORY
I'm not going to resign. You have the problem, you resign.

PARIS
No, you resign!

RORY
No, you resign!

PARIS
No, you resign!

TEACHER
No one is resigning.

LOUISE
(to Madeline)
Maybe I'll stay with him ‘til Friday and see how it goes.

MADELINE
That sounds fair.

TEACHER
You two can take this argument somewhere else. This is student council. Real school matters are the only things that matter here. Now, Paris, move on.

PARIS
The swimming pool needs re-plastering. Ideas for fundraising, please.

Rory and Paris stare at each other.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

A woman with a briefcase walks in.

NICOLE
(to Jess)
Excuse me? Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Lucas Danes.

JESS
Oh, Lucas.

LUKE
What?

JESS
IRS.

NICOLE
(to Jess)
I'm not IRS.
(to Luke)
I'm not IRS.

LUKE
I'm Luke Danes.

NICOLE
Luke Danes, sorry. Well, hello Luke Danes, I'm Nicole Leahy, I'm Taylor Doose's attorney.

LUKE
Oh, geez.

NICOLE
He wanted me to bring--

LUKE
Yeah, the lease agreements, yes, I know. I told him to walk them over here, but hey, what's the fun of being Taylor, right?

NICOLE
I'm sorry if this is a bad time. It certainly won't take me very long.

LUKE
Nah, I'm fine, whatever. Let's get this over with.

NICOLE
No problem.

LUKE
You want some coffee?

NICOLE
Yeah, sounds great.

Nicole sits down at the counter.

NICOLE
I really just need to witness your signature, is all. It's actually just a formality.

LUKE
In other words, completely ridiculous and unnecessary.

NICOLE
Uh huh.

LUKE
Okay.

Luke hands her a cup of coffee.

NICOLE
Mr. Doose really likes things to be formal. And neat. And in triplicate. He just loves things in triplicate.

She takes a sip of coffee.

NICOLE
That's a really good cup of coffee.

Luke starts signing the documents.

LUKE
Thanks. So, tell me something, what's it like being Taylor's lawyer?

NICOLE
Well, actually, I'm not exactly Mr. Doose's lawyer. Or only lawyer. He's one of our select clients, so all of our attorneys deal with him or a rotating basis, it's my month.

LUKE
My condolences.

NICOLE
Yeah, my father always told me that which does not kill you makes you stronger.

LUKE
You're gonna be really strong.

NICOLE
He's not that bad.

LUKE
Seriously, if you run into someone pinned underneath a truck, pick it up. It's gonna be a piece of cake. Okay, looks like that's the whole nine yards.

NICOLE
Great. You and Mr. Doose are officially in business together.

Luke makes a face.

NICOLE
Oh, I'm so sorry, I meant that as a good thing.

LUKE
It's okay.

NICOLE
Uh, I will let you get back to work. Let me...

She starts to pull out money to pay for the coffee.

LUKE
No, no, on me.

NICOLE
Tell you what. It's business, let's let Mr. Doose pay for it.

LUKE
Even better.

He takes the money. Nicole leaves.

JESS
Well, that was an interesting show.

LUKE
What are you yammering about?

JESS
Guess Gloria Allred wants to go slumming.

LUKE
Shut up.

JESS
She was totally coming onto you.

LUKE
She was not.

JESS
Couldn't you hear her panting when you were signing those things?

LUKE
Didn't see it.

JESS
She laughed at your jokes, and we both know there's gotta be some ulterior motive when people laugh at your jokes.

LUKE
Okay, whatever. Even if there was something, which I'm not saying there was, she's a suit. Not my type.

JESS
Yeah, especially since she's not a monk.

LUKE
Oh, I don't go out that much, is that what that's supposed to mean?

JESS
Take a look at a calendar. When was the last time you went out on a date? A year, two years ago?

LUKE
Last month, wiseass. I went out with Joanna Cooper.

JESS
You gave her a ride home.

LUKE
A ride home is the end of a date.

JESS
Only if you go on a date first.

LUKE
I'm not gonna discuss this with you.

JESS
Suit yourself. I have to go meet Rory anyhow. See, I'm gonna go pick her up, spend a few hours actually being with her, then give her a ride home. That's called the end of a date.

LUKE
Or I could stay open a few hours later which means you're here ‘til ten. That's also called the end of a date.

JESS
Hopeless.

LUKE
Bye now.

Jess leaves.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - NIGHT

Lorelai is sitting at a table looking bored when Luke walks over to refill her coffee.

LORELAI
Hey, got any good stories?

LUKE
Nope, sorry.

LORELAI
Ah, nothing? No crazy, colorful uncle? Best friend with a funny name?

LUKE
Jeff Smith?

LORELAI
Skeletons in the family closet? War wounds? Funny shaped scars?

LUKE
It really throws you off when Rory's late, doesn't it?

LORELAI
Big time.

Rory walks into the diner with a bunch of books.

LORELAI
Oh, yay, thank God!

RORY
Sorry. Didn't Luke keep you company?

Rory sits down.

LORELAI
Oh, he tried, but really, he's got nothing.

LUKE
Thank you.

Luke walks off.

LORELAI
So what's with all the books?

RORY
We are going to fish.

LORELAI
With these?

RORY
Yes.

LORELAI
So we throw them in and try to knock the fish out?

RORY
I went to the library and got of all their best informational books on fishing.

LORELAI
Ugh, you're serious.

RORY
You wanna learn to fish or not? Exciting, huh?

LORELAI
Oh, I can barely keep still.

Lorelai opens book and starts to read.

LORELAI
(reads)
"Chapter 1, technique. For deep water fishing, an angler - "
(to Rory)
What's an angler?

RORY
That would be you.

LORELAI
Oh, better remember that. Okay.
(reads)
"For deep water fishing, an angler" - me, again - "can choose a wire line using a downrigger or a vertical jig. Whatever your technique, the other successful clue to attracting fish is the appropriate lure."
(to Rory)
Ooh, what about the sequined top I wore to the Christmas party?

RORY
Yes, I think that's exactly what he's talking about.

LORELAI
(reads)
"For bottom feeders, consider smaller, darker patterned lures" - simple, yet elegant - "while in areas where the forage fish are cicso, you're limited to the larger, more flashy baits."
(to Rory)
I am telling you right now, the larger flashy baits are just gonna make me look cheap.

RORY
Okay, let's review - what do we know so far?

LORELAI
I need flashy baits if I'm going to invest in cisco, unless I choose to cast a troll in my downrigger.

RORY
Hey, that's good.

Luke walks up to them

LUKE
Doing a little studying?

RORY
My mom's leaning how to fish.

LUKE
You're what?

LORELAI
I'm learning how to fish.

LUKE
Oh, sorry, wrong inflection - you're what?

LORELAI
Go away.

LUKE
Why are you learning how to fish?

LORELAI
Um, it's just something I wanted to do. Some friends of mine fish, and I thought if they can do it I can do it.

LUKE
Okay.

LORELAI
And what if I am a really great fisher? Yeah, I mean, what if that's my calling, the thing that I am meant to do? And all this time I've been sitting here with the gift to fish and I am squandering it. It's like if Mozart walked right by the piano store and never played a note.

LUKE
So you're gonna fish to fulfill your destiny?

LORELAI
That's right.

LUKE
And you're gonna learn to fish to fulfill your destiny from a book?

LORELAI
Yes.

LUKE
(to Rory)
And you sanctioned this?

RORY
Yes.

LUKE
Okay, Thelma, Louise, possibly there's another way to learn to fish.

LORELAI
The Fishing Channel.

LUKE
I fish.

RORY
Oh yeah, we've seen those boots thingies outside drying off.

LUKE
Those would be called waders.

LORELAI
And I'm sure I'll be reading about waders soon in one of these cliffhangers here.

LUKE
If you want, I can show you a few things, get you started, make sure you don't strangle yourself with your own line, the basics.

LORELAI
Are you sure you don't mind?

LUKE
I can come over tomorrow after work.

LORELAI
Great, thank you.

Luke starts to leavel. Lorelai stops him and points at something in the book.

LORELAI
Agh. Just for the record, I don't wanna learn that.

LUKE
Got it.

CUT TO:

INT. HARTFORD: CHILTON, SECRETARY'S OFFICE - DAY

Rory walks in.

RORY
I got a note that I was supposed to come see Headmaster Charleston.

SECRETARY
I'll let him know you're both here.

RORY
Both?

Paris is sitting in a chair waiting.

PARIS
Both.

RORY
Both.

SECRETARY
Take a seat, please.

RORY
Yes, ma'am.

Rory sits down next to Paris. The secretary walks into the headmaster's office.

RORY
(to Paris)
So what this time, trying to have me deported?

PARIS
Oh, yeah, like I'm the one who called this meeting.

RORY
I certainly didn't call this meeting.

PARIS
Save the act for Sundance, you little snitch.

RORY
I didn't snitch.

PARIS
Said the weak-kneed turncoat.

RORY
Nixon's bad seed.

PARIS
Daughter of Judas.

Headmaster Charleston walks out of his office.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
Ladies, come in please.

They walk into:

INT. HARTFORD: CHILTON, HEADMASTER CHARLESTON'S OFFICE - DAY

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
Have a seat.

They sit down.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
Chilton student council president and vice president in my office... not what I would've expected, I must tell you. There's been quite a stir about you two the past several days. The school is buzzing with the talk of your clashes in student council meetings, your face-offs in the cafeteria, a screaming match at the school newspaper's office.

PARIS
Excuse me, Headmaster Charleston, in regards to the incident at the Franklin, Ms. Gilmore submitted a piece that was quite poorly researched.

RORY
It was not poorly researched.

PARIS
I had to re-edit it and Ms. Gilmore took it very badly.

RORY
There was nothing wrong with the piece.

PARIS
And in regards to the student council meeting--

RORY
Oh, you mean the one where you tried to impeach me because you haven't been properly diagnosed yet?

PARIS
If you'll just allow me access to my briefs--

RORY
You know what, you want me to quit? Fine, I'll quit. I never wanted this stupid job in the first place.

PARIS
Who forced you to take it then?

RORY
You did, because you didn't think you'd get elected unless I ran with you.

PARIS
That's not true!

RORY
It's completely true!

PARIS
Shut up!

RORY
You shut up!

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
Enough! This behavior will stop this instant. It is disgraceful, especially from the political leaders of this campus. Now, I'd like to know what is actually driving this recent rash of infighting.

Silence.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
Oh, goody, I get to guess. Well, let's see, perhaps you're arguing over the same boy?

PARIS
(muttering to herself)
Sure, we're girls, so we could only be arguing about a boy, right? Sexist, white-haired -

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
Paris, are you muttering?

PARIS
No, sorry.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
All right, if it isn't a boy, perhaps it's a popularity thing. Someone didn't get invited to someone else's party? Or perhaps this is a power struggle of some sort.

Silence.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
No? Well, then I'll stop guessing and start lecturing.
(to Rory)
Ms. Gilmore, you will not be quitting the student council, is that clear?

RORY
Yes, sir.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
(to Rory)
The student body has elected you and therefore you will fulfill your commitment. And in the future, I would advise you to think long and hard about accepting any responsibility if you intend to run away from it at the first sign of conflict.
(to Paris)
And Ms. Gellar, you worked very hard to get to the position you hold in this school, and yet now you are willing to throw all that away on petty vendettas and childish antics. Indeed, it makes me wonder... if you two can't resolve your issues in this sheltered - some would say pampered - environment, how on Earth will you ever survive in college? As student council officers, you represent Chilton to those inside and outside these hallowed halls. Right now, the world sees us as a group of sniveling, spiteful, vindictive individuals - not really what I'd hoped for, nor is that how I portrayed the two of you in my personal letter of recommendation to Harvard. I would hate to have to write a second letter to the university correcting my errors in judgement. However, I've done it before. Am I making myself clear?

RORY
Yes, sir.

PARIS^
Yes, sir.

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
Delightful. You may see yourselves out.

Rory and Paris get up walk out into:

INT. HARTFORD: CHILTON, HALLWAY - DAY

RORY
Well, that was delightful, wasn't it? I'm not sure which is more embarrassing - having Charleston yell at us or knowing we actually had a "shut up/no, you shut up" fight in front of him. So, what do you think, Paris? Do you feel as completely rotten as I do?

PARIS
No.

Paris walks away.

CUT TO:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, FRONT YARD - DAY

Luke is unloading his fishing gear out of his truck. He honks the horn.

LUKE
Let's go.

Lorelai walks out of the house. She's wearing a fancy fishing outfit.

LORELAI
Hello, sailor, bait your hook for you?

LUKE
You look ridiculous.

LORELAI
I look adorable. No one ever told me that if you fish, you get to buy an outfit. I'll do just about anything if I can buy an outfit.

LUKE
Well, I'll just let that go by because we have a lot to do here.

LORELAI
Okay, wait. I'll just get my purse before we go.

LUKE
Go where?

LORELAI
To the lake.

LUKE
You're not ready for the lake.

LORELAI
Then what am I ready for?

Luke points to the small inflatable pool he has set up in the yard.

LORELAI
Uh! You're putting me in the kiddie lake?

LUKE
Gotta crawl before you can walk.

LORELAI
Oh, this is not at all embarrassing. There's not even fish in it.

Luke dumps a bucket of fish into the pool.

LUKE
Trout.

LORELAI
Hey! Aw, they're so cute! Hello, hi boys. And look, they're all "ooh" like they're singing in a little trout choir.

LUKE
I wouldn't get too attached.

LORELAI
Hi Gomer.

LUKE
There you go.

LORELAI
Oh, don't be scared Pinky.

LUKE
And now there's Pinky.

LORELAI
Pinky Dowdy from fourth grade. See her eyes darting back and forth, all panicked? She got that way from dodge ball. It's okay, Pinky, nobody's gonna hurt you. Hey Pete, stop crowding Pinky. It's okay, Pinky, just go over there behind Cheryl.

LUKE
Okay, now that everybody knows each other, take this.

She hands her the fishing rod.

LORELAI
What's that?

LUKE
That's your rod and reel.

LORELAI
Huh, rod and reel. I don't know if the guys are gonna like this.

LUKE
Well, we can skip the lesson and just take the trout out for some beers. It's up to you, really.

LORELAI
No, I'm going to learn.

Luke starts to demonstrate with the fishing rod.

LUKE
Okay. I already went ahead and threaded your line through the guides here, and put a hook on it.

LORELAI
What kind of bait is that?

LUKE
It's a cork.

LORELAI
Remind me not to let you cater any of my parties.

LUKE
It's to cover the hook. Okay, now, this little metal thing is the bail. It's very important. It keeps your line on the spool here.

LORELAI
Line on the spool, got it.

LUKE
Okay, take the rod in your right hand, and you press your right index finger on the line, holding it against the pole. With your left hand, slide the bail over. Now don't let go of your index finger or all the line will spin off your spool. Now, pull the pole back over your shoulder to the ten o'clock position.

LORELAI
Oh, great, now I gotta go buy a watch.

LUKE
You flip your wrist forward to two o'clock, at the same time releasing your index finger, casting your line out into the lake in front of you.

He pulls the fishing rod back and casts the line into the pool.

LUKE
Now, you try.

He hands her the fishing pole.

LORELAI
Okay. Now, I do something with my right hand, my right index finger, and with the bail and a spool, and pull the thingy...

She accidentally casts the line backwards.

LORELAI
Oh! Now, that would've been embarrassing if I weren't dressed like this.

LUKE
Oh, you released at eleven, you're supposed to release at two o'clock. Try again.

LORELAI
Okay.

Lorelai casts the line again. This time she hits.

LORELAI
Ah! Hey, I made it in the pool, I made it in the pool!

LUKE
I see that.

LORELAI
Why aren't you excited?

LUKE
I'm very excited.

LORELAI
Well, jump around or something.

LUKE
All right, you know, you're going in the pool.

LORELAI
Fine.

LUKE
All right, what do you think? Ready to take the cork off and try your luck?

LORELAI
Uh, uh, I'm ready, but they're not.

LUKE
No problem.

Luke takes his own fishing rod.

LORELAI
Man, you need a lot of stuff for fishing.

LUKE
Well, normally, you don't bring your own lake.

LORELAI
Right, right.

LUKE
So, tell me why you're doing this.

LORELAI
Because you told me to.

LUKE
I mean, tell me why you're learning to fish.

LORELAI
Oh. I told you, some of my friends are going.

LUKE
What friends? Sookie?

LORELAI
What?

LUKE
Is Sookie going fishing?

LORELAI
Well--

LUKE
Or Rory - did Rory suddenly get the overwhelming urge to dig for worms and stand in the middle of a lake at five a.m.?

LORELAI
Yes? Okay, fine, I met this guy.

LUKE
Ah.

LORELAI
And, uh, he's kind of an outdoorsy guy.

LUKE
Oh, just your type.

LORELAI
No, not exactly, but he's nice and, uh, he was talking about fishing, and I think I said something like, "Oh, hey, that sounds great", and so he invited me and here I am.

LUKE
I got it.

LORELAI
Sorry I didn't tell you.

LUKE
Why didn't you tell me?

LORELAI
I don't know. I just felt stupid getting rooked into the thing in the first place, and then... plus, you don't wanna hear about my personal life.

LUKE
So this'll be your first date or...

LORELAI
Second.

LUKE
Second date.

LORELAI
He took me to this coffee tasting place.

LUKE
Coffee tasting, just your type.

LORELAI
Uh huh.

LUKE
Well, I think that's great.

LORELAI
Thank you.

LUKE
Yeah. When are you going?

LORELAI
Sunday morning.

LUKE
Oh. Well, it's hard to be a fisher woman without your own pole. You can borrow one of mine if you want.

LORELAI
Really?

LUKE
Yeah, I got an extra little tackle box, too... if you want.

LORELAI
That would be great.

LUKE
Yeah.

LORELAI
Can you do me one more favor?

LUKE
Sure.

LORELAI
Put a cork on your hook.

LUKE
Sure.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

Rory is resting her head on the kitchen table.

LORELAI (O.S.)
Could you please just make some coffee?

RORY
I'm not doing anything for you ever.

LORELAI
Don't be mad.

RORY
You set my alarm for 5:15 a.m.

Lorelai walks into the kitchen wearing her fishing outfit.

LORELAI
I know, and I did it for purely practical reasons.

RORY
Which are?

LORELAI
My alarm is just not as reliable as your scream.

RORY
You will pay.

LORELAI
That's fine, honey. Now, coffee?

RORY
I am writing this in my ledger of all the crummy things you've done over the years, and when I leave this house, mark my words - you will pay!

The doorbell rings.

LORELAI
Oh great. It's 5:30 a.m., and I have no coffee in my system.

Lorelai walks to:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, FOYER - NIGHT

Lorelai opens the door. Alex is outside.

ALEX LESMAN
Hi.

LORELAI
Hi.

Alex holds up a bag.

ALEX LESMAN
Coffee and donuts.

LORELAI
Ah, I like you. Come on in. Right in here.

They walk into:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

LORELAI
This is Rory.

ALEX LESMAN
Hi, I'm Alex.

RORY
Nice to meet you. Would've been nicer in the daylight, but...

LORELAI
Okay, let's get going. It's not like the fish are gonna wait for us all day, right? I'll take that coffee now. Thank you.

Lorelai tries to get her fishing rod through the doorway.

LORELAI
I got it, I got it.

Lorelai walks toward the front door.

ALEX LESMAN
(to Rory)
Your mom's never been fishing before, has she?

RORY
Oh, no, she's a well-seasoned fish killer.

ALEX LESMAN
Uh huh. I made lunch reservations at the Shahaela Lodge and Spa afterward. Think she'll like that?

RORY
She'll love that.

ALEX LESMAN
Good. Go back to sleep.

He leaves. Rory lies down on the couch.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, KIM'S ANTIQUES - DAY

Guests are mingling before the wedding.

MRS. KIM
Min Jae, you lost weight. Look good, not so fat.

MIN JAE
Thank you.

Mrs. Kim sees Lane carrying a tray of water glasses.

MRS. KIM
What is that?

LANE
The bride's thirsty.

MRS. KIM
Regulate the water. Once the dress is on, that's it - must remain standing.

Lane walks over to Dave. She's wearing a red dress.

LANE
Hi.

DAVE
Hi, and hi.

LANE
Uh, this will not be the mental image you carry around of me the rest of the week.

DAVE
No, it won't. 

Lane turns to look at the wedding party. Dave sees the bow on the back of her dress.

DAVE
Hold on, I just saw the back. Yes, it will.

Mrs. Kim walks up to them.

MRS. KIM
Why aren't you upstairs? It's not right to leave the bride alone on her wedding day.

LANE
Uh, Rory's up there, Mama, and I'm going up there right now. Dave Rygalski was just wondering where to set up.

MRS. KIM
David, hello.

DAVE
Hello, Mrs. Kim. The place looks wonderful.

MRS. KIM
Thank you.

Lane leaves.

MRS. KIM
(to Dave)
Come, sit here. This is Ho Kyung, she'll sing with you.

DAVE
(to Ho Kyung)
Hi.

MRS. KIM
(to Dave)
Watch the high notes, she's a runner.

Mrs. Kim leaves. Dave watches Lane walk up the stairs.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, LANE'S BEDROOM - DAY

Rory is fixing the bride's hair when Lane walks in.

LANE
How's it going?

RORY
I like it, but I'm not the one getting married.
(to bride)
Um, your hair, do you like it?

Lane asks her in Korean, and the lady responds in Korean.

LANE
(to Rory)
Too much for me.

RORY
Oh, I found the Mrs. Kim-approved makeup in the drawer, but let me tell you, since the last wedding, it has developed a smell.

LANE
A what?

She smells the make-up.

LANE
Oh boy.

RORY
As I said, a smell.

Lane retrieves some makeup from under her floorboard.

LANE
Well, I've got the good stuff right here, right next to the Peggy Lee.

RORY
Seems appropriate.

LANE
I thought so. Shall we?

RORY
Unh unh, the foot stool.

Lane moves the foot stool to block the door.

LANE
Whoa. All set.

They sit down next to bride and start pulling out the make-up.

LANE
So, Dave's here.

RORY
He is, huh?

LANE
I still can't believe he's willing to do all this just to go out with me.

RORY
Well, hey, where else can he find a decent, pretty, smart girl who can recite the entire encyclopedia of rock in 5/8 time?

LANE
Nowhere, I guess.

RORY
I'm really happy for you guys.

LANE
Thanks. I'm really happy for you and Jess, too.

RORY
Thanks. You know it's okay, right?

LANE
Not following.

RORY
It's okay not to like Jess.

LANE
I said I was happy for you.

RORY
I know.

LANE
God, I'm such a jerk.

RORY
You're not. Look, we're not always going to like the same things. Like, you like Smashing Pumpkins and I don't.

LANE
But that's only ‘cause you're close-minded and blind.

RORY
What can I say? They're not my angst.

LANE
Besides, it's not like I don't want to like Jess. I can't help it. As your best friend, I'm very protective of you.

RORY
You could try giving him a second chance.

LANE
I could. I should. I will. Um, hey, maybe we can all go out sometime together as a group, you know, you, me, Dave, Jess.

RORY
Absolutely, we should do that sometime.

LANE
Great.

The door starts to open.

LANE
Incoming!

Rory pushes the makeup off the desk as Mrs. Kim walks into the room.

MRS. KIM
What's going on in here?

LANE
Nothing, Mama.

RORY
I fell off my chair.

LANE
Oh, well, don't.

RORY
Yes, ma'am.

MRS. KIM
She looks very beautiful. Must've gotten a good night sleep.

Mrs. Kim leaves the room. Rory pulls up the good make-up again. Lane pushes the foot stool pack into position.

RORY
How many people do you think have gotten married here over the years?

LANE
I counted once off the guest book - forty-six.

RORY
Wow. What happened to that one, Min Cha? She married a real mean guy.

LANE
Wan Nam. Didn't I tell you about them?

RORY
No.

LANE
Well, Min Cha put up with seven years of Wan Nam telling her she was stupid and ordering her to cook all his meals. Then one day, he was in the kitchen looking for his lunch and she just snapped. Took a carrot peeler and turned on him.

RORY
A carrot peeler?

LANE
You can get those things pretty sharp. Anyway, she just came at him and started peeling. The neighbors called the police. They showed up and Wan Nam was just standing there all peeled.

RORY
What happened?

LANE
He didn't press charges, but now he makes all his own meals, sleeps in a locked separate room, and keeps the cutting board by his bed for protection. Still married, though.

RORY
Wow.

LANE
Everybody's still married. It's like a factory system here. They all come to the weddings, find a spouse, get married and stay that way ‘til they die.

RORY
They mate for life, like the loons.

LANE
You know, this may be the last wedding for a long time, though.

RORY
How come?

LANE
Well, all my cousins in their twenties and thirties are married. James was the last one.

RORY
Wow. It feels like we've had at least two of these every year since I can remember.

LANE
Elementary school, when we met.

RORY
Elementary school, when we met, yeah.

LANE
Well, we do have some distant relatives left. Maybe we can go to one of those weddings. You know, when we come home from college on break or something.

RORY
Well, then, we should definitely keep the makeup.

LANE
We definitely should.

RORY
And who knows, maybe the next Kim wedding we do makeup for will be yours.

LANE
Too scary, don't freak me out.

RORY
Sorry.

LANE
So, what do you think, eye shadow?

RORY
Why not? Let's do it. Peeled to death - that's a bad way to go.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

Luke looks out the window and sees Taylor talking to his lawyer Nicole. They wave to each other.

LUKE
(to customer)
Here you go.

He points to the empyt coffee mug.

LUKE
(to customer)
We'll top that off for ya.

He looks out at the Tayler and the Nicole again.

LUKE
(to Jess)
Coffee over here.

Luke leaves the diner.

JESS
Where you going?

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S - DAY

Luke walks up to Nicole.

LUKE
Uh, Miss Leahy?

NICOLE
Yeah? Mr. Danes, how are you?

LUKE
Good, good, and it's Luke.

NICOLE
Okay, Luke. What can I do for you?

LUKE
I wouldn't cross there.

NICOLE
Why not?

LUKE
Well, Taylor's a stickler about jaywalking and he's town magistrate. I'd hate for you to be disbarred.

NICOLE
Well, that would be a bad way to end a career, thank you.

LUKE
Sure. So, uh, did the lease forms all work out? I mean, was my signature okay? ‘Cause sometimes I'm in a kind of a hurry and my hand just takes off without me.

NICOLE
Your signature seemed very steady.

LUKE
Good, good, ‘cause you never know.

NICOLE
Well--

LUKE
Listen, I was thinking about that cup of coffee you had at my place the other day. I felt bad making Taylor pay for it - not that I ever feel bad sticking it to Taylor. I just thought it might get you in trouble with a client. I'd hate to see you disbarred again.

NICOLE
To be honest, I actually paid for the coffee myself.

LUKE
Oh, oh, well, then at least let me pay you back for it.

NICOLE
You wanna give me seventy-five cents?

LUKE
No, no, no, uh, what I meant was - ah, what the hell? Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?

NICOLE
Yeah.

LUKE
Really?

NICOLE
I'd love to have dinner with you.

LUKE
Great. Okay, uh, well, I have your card.

NICOLE
Mmhmm.

LUKE
Why don't I give you a call this week and we'll make that happen.

NICOLE
Sounds good.

LUKE
Yeah, sounds good. So, see ya. Watch those crosswalks.

NICOLE
Thanks, I will.

Luke walks back into:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

Jess has a grin on his face.

LUKE
(to Jess)
Shut up.

JESS
I said nothing.

LUKE
Well, don't.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, KIM'S ANTIQUES - DAY

The wedding has started.

KOREAN PRIEST
(speaks Korean to bride)

BRIDE
(answers in Korean)

KOREAN PRIEST
(to groom)
And do you vow to uphold the principles of the seventh commandment as set out in Exodus 20:14?

JAMES
I do.

KOREAN PRIEST
(speaks Korean)

Mrs. Kim looks at the bride. She touches her faces and rubs some of the make-up off and inspects it. Rory and Lane look at each other nervously. Mrs. Kim looks pleased with the make-up.

KOREAN PRIEST
And so, in the Glory of God, I pronounce you husband and wife.

Dave starts playing.

*Music: "Ave Maria" by Franz Schubert*

RORY
That was nice.

LANE
Yeah, it was really nice

MRS. KIM
Reception at Elks Lodge. Two hundred guests. Food goes fast. Let's move.

Everybody gets up.

RORY
I can't believe that's the last time I'll hear your mom say that.

LANE
So, are you coming to the reception?

RORY
Oh, no, I was actually going to--

LANE
Go meet Jess.

RORY
Yeah. Are you mad?

LANE
No. You know, he can come to the reception with you if... he's not really the reception kind of guy, is he?

RORY
Not really. Not yet, anyway.

LANE
We'll work on that.

RORY
Yes, we will.

LANE
Okay, tell him hi for me.

RORY
I will. Tell Dave hi for me.

LANE
I will.

RORY
Bye.

LANE
Bye.

Rory leaves.

MRS. KIM
Lane!

LANE
Yes, Mama.

MRS. KIM
This is Young Chui.

LANE
Hi.

YOUNG CHUI
Hi.

MRS. KIM
He will take you to the prom.

LANE
What?

MRS. KIM
Young Chui works for his father who builds Adventist hospitals. Young Chui will go to college at Loma Linda University. Then he will return to work for his father building Adventist hospitals. Now, put your coat on. Young Chui and his parents will drive you to Elks Lodge.

Mrs. Kim walks away. Lane walks after her.

LANE
Mama!

Lane pops back in.

LANE
(to Young Chui)
I'm sure you're very nice.

Lane follows Mrs. to:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, KITCHEN - DAY

MRS. KIM
(to wedding guests)
Not a bus stop, door's that way.

The wedding guests leave.

LANE
I have to talk to you.

MRS. KIM
Get your coat, we have to go.

LANE
No.

MRS. KIM
No?

LANE
I can't go to the prom with Young Chui.

MRS. KIM
Why not? I thought you wanted to go to the prom.

LANE
Yes, I do wanna go to the prom.

MRS. KIM
I thought you say I could approve the boy you go to the prom with.

LANE
I did say that, but--

MRS. KIM
Well, I found the boy, I approve the boy, now you go to the prom with the boy.

LANE
Mama, um, I'm sure - I'm sure Young Chui's very nice and I'm so grateful you're letting me go to the prom, but the thing is - I like someone else.

MRS. KIM
Someone else?

LANE
Yes.

MRS. KIM
Someone else who?

LANE
Someone else who's been a good friend to this family. Who's proven himself to be of high moral character, someone who you yourself feels is worthy. So worthy, in fact, you let him sit in our pew at church.

MRS. KIM
Who - who did I let sit in our pew?

LANE
Dave Rygalski.

MRS. KIM
The guitar player?

LANE
I know, crazy, right? I can hardly believe it myself because, to be quite honest with you, when I first met him, when you hired him to play at Thanksgiving, well, I just didn't like him at all. He bugged me, actually. But the more you liked him and trusted him, the more I saw the good in him, the God in him, actually, and now I'm convinced... he's the boy I want to take me to prom.

MRS. KIM
He's not Korean.

Mrs. Kim leaves.

CUT TO;

INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, KIM'S ANTIQUES - DAY

Lane walks up to Dave.

DAVE
Lane? Hey, Lane? Is everything all right?

LANE
You're not Korean.

Lane leaves with Young Chui and his parents.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Rory walks through the front door.

RORY
I'm home!

LORELAI (O.S.)
Upstairs, bathroom!

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, BATHROOM - NIGHT

Lorelai is watching a fish swim in the bath tub. Rory walks in.

RORY
Hey.

Rory hsees the fish.

RORY
Oh, no.

LORELAI
Isn't she cute?

RORY
What happened?

LORELAI
The cork fell off my hook and Jayne Mansfield over here bit.

RORY
Jayne Mansfield.

LORELAI
Not the brightest fish in the pond, but she's awfully pretty.

RORY
You caught a fish.

LORELAI
Yes.

RORY
And you brought it home.

LORELAI
Yes.

RORY
How are you gonna take a bath?

LORELAI
I don't know.

RORY
How long is it gonna live?

LORELAI
Hard to say.

RORY
What are you gonna feed it?

LORELAI
See, this is why I don't fish.

RORY
She is kinda cute.

LORELAI
And she has a great tail swish.

RORY
So, other than bringing home a pet, how was fishing?

LORELAI
Good. The lake was beautiful, snowy and sparkly, and right down the road from the Shahaela Lodge and Spa.

RORY
I knew that.

LORELAI
How could you already know that?

RORY
Alex told me when you guys left.

LORELAI
Two dates with this guy and you're already in cahoots with each other.

RORY
Ah, what can I say? I'm wily.

LORELAI
Uh huh.

RORY
So, are you going out with him again?

LORELAI
Uh huh.

RORY
Camping?

LORELAI
Unh unh.

RORY
Good. So do you think maybe we should try to rehabilitate her and send her back into the wild?

LORELAI
Unfortunately, I think she's already domesticated. Baths and scented candles.

RORY
We'll just have to keep her.

LORELAI
Maybe we can train her to do tricks.

RORY
Tomorrow. Night Jayne.

LORELAI
Night Jayne.

They leave the bathroom and turn off the lights.

>_END OF SHOW_<