The Annotated Guide to Gilmore girls

>_TEASER_<

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: SIDEWALK - DAY

Lorelai walks down the sidewalk. She passes a sign that says "Stars Hollow Founded 1779" and crosses the street. She goes into Luke's Diner. 

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - DAY

Lorelai takes off her coat and picks up an empty mug from a table, then walks up to the counter

LORELAI
Please, Luke. Please, please, please.

LUKE
How many cups have you had this morning?

LORELAI
None.

LUKE
Plus...

LORELAI
Five, but yours is better.

LUKE
You have a problem.

LORELAI
Yes, I do.

Luke fills her cup.

LUKE
Junkie.

LORELAI
Angel. You've got wings, baby.

The phone rings as Lorelai goes back to her table. Luke answers it.

LUKE
(into phone)
Luke's. 
(pause)
Yeah.

A young guy seated at the counter turns and watches Lorelai sip her coffee, then gets up and approaches her.

JOEY
You make that look really good.

LORELAI
Oh, it is really good. It's the best coffee in town.

JOEY
Oh yeah? I'll have to get a cup.

LORELAI
Good plan.

JOEY
Yeah, I've never been here before. Just, uh, passing through on my way to Hartford.

LORELAI
You're a regular Jack Kerouac.

JOEY
(confused)
Yeah.

LORELAI
Yeah.

JOEY
Hey, you mind if I sit down?

LORELAI
Oh, you know what? Actually, I'm meeting someone so I--

Joey sits down at her table.

JOEY
I'm Joey.

LORELAI
Okay.

JOEY
What, you don't have a name?

LORELAI
No, I do have a name. I just, I'm really meeting someone, so ...

JOEY
So I guess I should get going.

LORELAI
So soon?

JOEY
What?

LORELAI
I'm just screwing with your mind, Joey. It's nice to meet you. Enjoy Hartford.

JOEY
Enjoy your coffee, mystery woman.

LORELAI
Hm. I like that.

As Joey returns to the counter, Rory walks in and sits across from Lorelai.

RORY
Hey. It's freezing.

LORELAI
Oh, what do you need? Hot tea, coffee?

RORY
Lip gloss.

LORELAI
Aha.

Lorelai pulls a makeup bag out of her purse.

LORELAI
I have vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and toasted marshmallow.

RORY
Anything in there not resembling a breakfast cereal?

LORELAI
Yes.

Lorelai pulls out another bag.

LORELAI
It has no smell but it changes colors with your mood.

RORY
God, RuPaul doesn't need this much makeup.

LORELAI
Wow, you're crabby.

RORY
I'm sorry. I lost my Macy Gray CD and I need caffeine.

LORELAI
Ooh, I have your CD. 

Lorelai pulls the CD out of her purse.

RORY
Thief.

LORELAI
Sorry, and I will get you some coffee.

Lorelai picks up another coffee cup and goes back to the counter. Luke gives her a look.

LORELAI
What? It's not for me. It's for Rory, I swear.

LUKE
You're shameless.

Behind Lorelai, Joey approaches Rory's table.

LORELAI
Look, Officer Krupke. She's right at that table, right over there.

Lorelai turns to point to Rory and sees Joey talking to her. Luke fills the coffee cup.

LORELAI
Ah. He's got quite a pair, this guy. 

Lorelai takes the cup.

LORELAI
Thanks.

Lorelai goes back to the table.

JOEY
(to Rory)
Yeah, I've never been through here before.

LORELAI
Oh, you have, too.

JOEY
Oh, hi.

LORELAI
Oh, hi. You really like my table, don't you?

JOEY
I was just, uh ...

LORELAI
Getting to know my daughter.

JOEY
Your ...

RORY
Are you my new daddy?

JOEY
Wow. You do not look old enough to have a daughter. No, I mean it. And you do not look like a daughter.

LORELAI
That's possibly very sweet of you. Thanks.

JOEY
So ... daughter. You know, I am traveling with a friend.

LORELAI
She's sixteen.

JOEY
Bye.

LORELAI
Drive safe.

Joey and his friend exit the diner.

>_END OF TEASER_<

===

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN - DAY

Lorelai walks into the Independence Inn.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, LOBBY - DAY

Lorelai enters the lobby and hands a key to a bellboy.

LORELAI
Oh, here you go.

BELLBOY
Thanks.

Lorelai walks to the front desk, where Michel is on the phone and sorting mail.

MICHEL
(into phone)
Independence Inn, Michel speaking.
(pause)
No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.
(pause)
We have a wedding party here.
(pause)
No, there is really nothing I can do.
(pause)
Yes, I'm sure.
(pause)
Positive.
(pause)
No, I don't have to look ma'am, I--
(pause)
Yes, of course I'll look.

Michel puts the phone down, continues to sort the mail, then picks the phone back up.

MICHEL
No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Drella pushes her harp through the crowded lobby.

DRELLA
Oh, no, don't move. Just ignore the tiny woman pushing the 200-pound instrument around. No, this is good, I like this. After this I'll, uh, bench press a piano, huh?

Drella stops behind a woman bent over tying her shoe.

DRELLA
Oh, that's it, lady, tie your shoe now. Yeah, don't worry, I'll wait.

Lorelai walks over to her.

LORELAI
Hi, Drella, hi. I was just wondering, um, could you be, uh, nicer to the guests?

DRELLA
I'm sorry. Did you not want a harp player?

LORELAI
Yes, I did.

DRELLA
And did you not want a great harp player?

LORELAI
Yes, I did.

DRELLA
Okay. I am a great harp player, and this is my great harp, okay. So if you're looking for someone to just be nice to the guests, get a harmonica player, or maybe some guy who whistles through his nose. Okay? Capisce?

Lorelai backs off and walks away. Drella goes back to pushing her harp into its place.

DRELLA
Oh, that is a great spot for a table. Decorator's a genius.

Lorelai walks back to the front desk where Michel is still on the phone

MICHEL
Madame, you have no idea how desperately I'd like to help, but see, I'd have to build a room for you myself, and I am not a man who works with his hands, so the best I can do is suggest that you please, please try for another weekend. Any weekend.
(pause)
Ah, good, fine, the twenty-first. Hold on, I'll look. 

Michel leafs through the reservation book.

MICHEL
No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Michel looks at the phone, as apparently the woman has hung up on him.

LORELAI
Has the plumber attended to room four yet?

MICHEL
He was here, he did nothing, it's a hundred dollars.

Lorelai picks up the phone and dials a number.

LORELAI
Hi Marco, Lorelai. Talk to me about room four. What was wrong with it?

Rory comes in. Lorelai kisses her hello.

LORELAI
(into phone)
Uh huh. I thought you replaced that already.
(pause)
Well, because you told me you did and I never forget anything, so this one's on you, right?
(pause)
Pleasure doing business with you.

Lorelai hangs up.

MICHEL
What is your offspring doing?

RORY
I need stamps. Can I have these?

MICHEL
No.

LORELAI
Take them. What's with the muumuu? 

RORY
Stop.

LORELAI
No, I'm just saying, you couldn't find one made of metal in case anyone has X-ray eyes?

RORY
And now we say goodbye.

LORELAI
Ooh, hey, have Michel look at your French paper before you go.

MICHEL
Excuse me?

RORY
That'd be great.

MICHEL
No.

RORY
Come on, Michel. I'll tell all the ladies what a stud you are.

MICHEL
Hm. I believe that memo has already been sent.

LORELAI
(in a French accent)
Oh, please, Michel. Pretty please with sucre on top. I will stop talking like this.

MICHEL
Leave it. I'll look at it if I get a chance.

RORY
It's due tomorrow. And pay special attention to the grammar.

Rory leaves. Lorelai stares at Michel.

MICHEL
I despise you.


CUT TO:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: STREET - DAY

Rory and Lane are walking to school. Lane puts a Woodstock '99 shirt on over the shirt she left home in.

RORY
When are you going to let your parents know that you listen to the evil rock music? You're an American teenager, for God's sake.

LANE
Rory, if my parents still get upset over the obscene portion size of American food, I seriously doubt I'm gonna make any inroads with Eminem.

The girls stop by a sign that says "Teen Hayride" so Lane can put on her jacket.

LANE
(points to sign)
I have to go to that.

RORY
The hayride? You're kidding.

LANE
My parents set me up with the son of a business associate. He's gonna be a doctor.

RORY
How old is he?

LANE
Sixteen.

RORY
So he's gonna be a doctor in a hundred years.

LANE
Well, my parents like to plan ahead.

RORY
God, you have to go to the hayride with him?

LANE
And his older brother.

RORY
Oh, now you're kidding.

LANE
Koreans never joke about future doctors. So, I guess you're not going, huh?

RORY
No, I'm still fuzzy on what's fun about sitting in the cold for two hours with a bundle of sticks up your butt.

LANE
Don't expect me to clear it up for you.

Lane and Rory have arrived at school. They walk inside as DEAN is standing on the steps watching them.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: STARS HOLLOW HIGH, CLASSROOM - DAY

The teacher Mrs. Traister is in front of her class.

MRS. TRAISTER
For those of you who have not finished the final chapters of Huckleberry Finn you may use this time to do so. For those of you who have, you can start on your essay now. Whichever task you choose, do it silently.

The girls around Rory pass a bottle of nail polish back and forth as Rory concentrates on writing in her notebook.

GIRL #1
Maybe it's a love letter.

GIRL #2
Or her diary.

GIRL #3
Could be a slam book.

Girl #4 peers over Rory's shoulder.

GIRL #4
It's the assignment.

The girls turn away, Rory smiles to herself.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, LOBBY - DAY

Drella is playing the harp. A woman stands nearby and listens.

DRELLA
Nice, huh?

WOMAN
Beautiful.

DRELLA
Yeah, well, tell it to the tip jar.

Lorelai and a bellboy are crossing the lobby.

LORELAI
Take Mrs. Langworthy's bags up to 314. Make sure the drapes are closed and there's extra soap and she wants her pillow mints now.

We hear a crash from the kitchen. Lorelai rushes in.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, KITCHEN - DAY

LORELAI
Sookie!

Sookie is on the floor near the stove.

SOOKIE
I'm okay, I'm okay.

LORELAI
What did you do now?
(to Salvador)
Oh, why aren't you watching her? No estabas cuidandola?

SALVADOR
Eh, no, she's this -
(points to head)
bad food in the head.

LORELAI
Oh. 
(to Sookie)
I need you to be more careful.

SOOKIE
I know, I'm sorry. Hey, I fixed the peach sauce.

LORELAI
That's blood, you're bleeding. Why are you bleeding?

SOOKIE
Oh, my stitches opened. I was using too much maple syrup. It strangled the fruit.

LORELAI
When did you get stitches?

SOOKIE
Friday night. Radish roses.

LORELAI
Okay, stop moving.

SOOKIE
You gotta taste the sauce. You have to try it while it's still warm.

LORELAI
Okay. Oh, Sookie, I need you to be more careful. I need there to be fewer accidents.

SOOKIE
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sookie feeds Lorelai a spoonful of the sauce.

LORELAI
Oh, dear God Almighty. That's incredible!

SOOKIE
I want to put it on the waffles tomorrow morning for breakfast.

LORELAI
I want to take a bath in that sauce!

SOOKIE
I will make more!

LORELAI
Someday when we open our own inn, diabetics will line up to eat this sauce.

SOOKIE
Won't that be great?

LORELAI
Yeah. But the key to someday achieving that dream is for you to stay alive long enough so we can actually open an inn, you understand?

SOOKIE
Yes, I understand.

LORELAI
All right. So, now, let's get you up and to the doctor, on three. One-two-three.

Lorelai tries to help Sookie up.

SOOKIE
Ow!

LORELAI
What?

SOOKIE
Stepped on my thumb. I'm fine. On three. Okay.

Lorelai and Salvador help Sookie up.

CUT TO:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: STREET - DAY

Lane and Rory are walking home from school.

LANE
Well, was it a good color at least?

RORY
It had sparkles in it.

LANE
Wow.

RORY
And it smelled like bubble gum when it dried.

LANE
Oh, well, there's no way Mark Twain can compete with that.

Lane and Rory walk into Kim's Antiques.


INT. STARS HOLLOW: KIM HOUSE, KIM'S ANTIQUES - DAY

LANE
(calls)
Mom, we're home.
(to Rory)
Did you hear something?

RORY
I'm not sure.

LANE
(calls)
Mom? Are you here?

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
We're open! Everything's half off!

RORY
We have contact.

LANE
(calls) Mom?

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
Lane?

LANE
Mom?

MRS. KIM
Lane?

Lane and Mrs. Kim call to each other as Lane and Rory walk around the cluttered store trying to follow the sound of Mrs. Kim's voice.

LANE
Mom, where are you?

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
Lane, where are you?

LANE
Back here!

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
Over here!

RORY
I think she's that way.

LANE
Are we closer?

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
I'm by the table!

RORY
She's kidding, right?

LANE
Look, we'll meet you in the kitchen!

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
What?

RORY
The kitchen!

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
Who's that?

LANE
It's Rory, Mom.

MRS. KIM (O.S.)
Oh.

RORY
Wow, I can hear the disappointment from here.

LANE
Oh, come on. Stop it.

RORY
You know, it sucks that after all these years your mom still hates me.

LANE
She doesn't hate you.

RORY
She hates my mother.

LANE
She doesn't trust unmarried women.

RORY
You're unmarried.

LANE
I'm hayriding with a future proctologist. I have potential.

Lane and Rory wind their way through the antique furniture and come out in the kitchen where Mrs. Kim is waiting.

MRS. KIM
Go upstairs. Tea is ready. I have muffins - no dairy, no sugar, no wheat. You have to soak them in tea to make them soft enough to bite but they're very healthy. So, how was school? None of the girls get pregnant, drop out?

LANE
Not that we know of.

RORY
Though come to think of it, Joanna Posner was glowing a little.

MRS. KIM
What?

LANE
Nothing, Mama. She's just kidding.

MRS. KIM
(very seriously)
Boys don't like funny girls.

RORY
Noted.

A bell rings, signaling that someone has just opened the shop door.

MAN
(calls)
Hello? Anybody here?

MRS. KIM
(calls)
We're here! We're coming! 
(to the girls)
Have the muffins. Made from sprouted wheat. Only good 24 hours.
(calls)
Everything's half off!

MAN
(calls)
Where are you?

MRS. KIM
(calls)
Over here!

MAN
(calls)
Where?

MRS. KIM
(calls)
By the chair!

MAN
(calls)
What chair?

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, KITCHEN - DAY

Sookie is chopping vegetables. Salvador pulls Sookie's hand away from the cutting board

SALVADOR
Careful!

SOOKIE
I'm okay. Peppers, peppers, peppers.

SALVADOR
Mike!

As Sookie moves around the kitchen the other cooks move things out of her way and prevent disasters.

SOOKIE
Okay, hello little vegetables, come with me. I got it. Okay, where's my glaze.

SALVADOR
In the counter.

SOOKIE
_On_ the counter. _On_, not in, not in the counter. Okay, good, all right. My sauce. Whoo, that's pretty good. Hello, a little bit of greens. Okay, okay. Hello, my little babies. You like that? A little bit of juice. Okay. You're very pretty. Okay.

SALVADOR
Mike, Mike!

Mike helps Sookie reach an iron skillet; Lorelai rushes into the kitchen

LORELAI
Sookie!

Sookie turns around and lifts the hand with the skillet. She HITS Salvador in the face with it and knocks him over. 

LORELAI
Ooh. It's here! It happened! She did it!

SOOKIE
Okay, I'm gonna need a little bit longer sentence.

LORELAI
The Chilton school. Rory got in.

SOOKIE
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

LORELAI
I know. Look.
(reads from a letter)
"Dear Ms. Gilmore, We are happy to inform you that we have a vacancy at Chilton Preparatory starting immediately. Due to your daughter's excellent credentials and your enthusiastic pursuit of her enrollment--"
(to Sookie)
I offered to do the principal to get her in.
(continues reading letter)
"--we would be happy to accept her as soon as the first semester's tuition has been received."

SOOKIE
This is very exciting!

They both giggle and hug.

LORELAI
Is something burning?

SOOKIE
My bangs, earlier. Go on, go on, go on.

LORELAI
This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she's always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship.

SOOKIE
Oh, good.

They giggle again. Rory walks in.

RORY
Mom?

LORELAI
Oh!

RORY
You're happy.

LORELAI
Yeah.

RORY
Did you do something slutty?

LORELAI
I'm not that happy.

Lorelai and Sookie giggle.

LORELAI
Here. 

Lorelai hands Rory a gift bag.

RORY
What's going on?

LORELAI
Open it.

Rory pulls out a plaid skirt.

RORY
I'm gonna be in a Britney Spears video?

SOOKIE
(barging in)
You're going to Chilton! Oh, sorry.

RORY
Mom?

LORELAI
You did it, babe. You got in.

RORY
How did this happen? You didn't ... with the principal, did you?

LORELAI
No, honey, that was a joke. They have an open spot. You're gonna start on Monday.

RORY
Really?

LORELAI
Really.

RORY
I don't believe this! Oh my God, I'm going to Chilton!

LORELAI
Yeah.

Lorelai and Rory hug.

RORY
Sookie, I'm going to Chilton!

Sookie and Rory hug.

SOOKIE
I'll make cookies. Protestants love oatmeal.

RORY
I have to call Lane.

Rory starts to leave then hugs Lorelai again.

RORY
I love you.

LORELAI
I love you.

Rory leaves.

LORELAI
My girl's going to Chilton

SOOKIE
Yeah. Rory's going to Chilton!

As Lorelai leaves, Sookie starts a little dance and begins to sing.

SOOKIE
Rory's going to Chilton! Rory's going to Chilton! Rory's going to Chilton!

Sookie tosses a dish towel over her shoulder. It lands on the stove and catches fire. Salvador covers it with a lid.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, LOBBY - DAY

The phone is ringing, Michel is ignoring it.

LORELAI
Michel, the phone.

MICHEL
Mmhmm. It rings.

LORELAI
Can you answer it?

MICHEL
No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.

LORELAI
You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.

Michel answers the phone.

MICHEL
Independence Inn, Michel speaking.
(pause)
No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Lorelai opens an envelope and pulls out a letter. She reads it and gasps.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, ROOM - DAY

Lorelai is walking around while on the phone.

LORELAI
I'm holding for Miss Bell. I've been trying to get a hold of her all day. 
(pause)
Lorelai Gilmore. 
(pause)
Hi! Oh, hi, hi. Yeah, uh, my daughter Rory has just been accepted - yay.
(pause)
Thank you, and, um, I got the invoice for your enrollment fee. Wow, that is a lot of zeros behind that five
(pause)
Uh huh. Okay, well, I guess what I'm wondering is if you couldn't take, say, part of it now, just to get her going?
(pause)
Well, but she's supposed to start Monday. It just doesn't give me a lot of time to pull a bank job.
(pause)
Well, never mind, I was just kidding.
(pause)
No, a bank job is robbing a bank but--
(pause)
Uh-huh. Oh, no. No, no, no. I don't want you to give up her space. I'll just -- I'll have to figure it out.
(pause)
Okay. No, thank you. It's been a real treat talking to you. 
(pause)
Yeah. Bye-bye.

CUT TO:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, FRONT PORCH - NIGHT

Lorelai and Sookie are talking on the porch.

LORELAI
What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

SOOKIE
You can have anything I own. My car! Sell my car.

LORELAI
Oh, sweetie, no one wants your car.

SOOKIE
Yeah.

LORELAI
There's something I haven't thought of, I know there is. There's something out there staring me right in the face. I just ... I haven't seen it.

SOOKIE
You know, you might consider calling your par--

LORELAI
No.

SOOKIE
But I don't think you have a--

LORELAI
Stop.

SOOKIE
You can at least go and--

LORELAI
Uh.

SOOKIE
Okay, can I say one more thing? I think it's your only option.

LORELAI
Sookie, there are several chapters from a Stephen King novel I'd reenact before I'd resort to that option.

SOOKIE
Okay, dropped. Dropped.

LORELAI
Thank you.

Rory comes outside in her Chilton skirt, which is too big on her.

RORY
Mom? So what do you think?

SOOKIE
(enthusiastically)
Wow, it makes you look smart!

RORY
Okay, no more wine for you. Mom?

LORELAI
You look like you were swallowed by a kilt.

RORY
Fine, you can hem it. A little.

LORELAI
Ooh.

RORY
Only a little.

LORELAI
Okay. Or I could hem it a lot.

RORY
No, you're not. I don't want it to be too short.

They all walk inside.

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

RORY
I can't believe tomorrow's my last day at Stars Hollow High.

LORELAI
I know.

RORY
Today I was so excited I dressed for gym.

LORELAI
You're kidding!

RORY
And I played volleyball.

LORELAI
With other people?

RORY
And I learned that all this time I was avoiding group sports?

LORELAI
Yeah?

RORY
Was very smart because I suck at them.

Lorelai begins to pin up the skirt.

LORELAI
Well, yeah, you got that from me.

SOOKIE
Where's your paté?

LORELAI
At Zsa Zsa Gabor's house.

SOOKIE
Right. I'm going to the store because you have nothing. You feel like duck?

LORELAI
Ooh, if it's made with chicken, absolutely.

SOOKIE
I'll be back.

LORELAI
Bye.

Sookie leaves.

LORELAI
All right. This will give you an idea. Go see how you like it.

RORY
Okay. I love being a private school girl.

Rory heads to her bedroom to check her skirt. Lorelai stares at pictures on the mantle.

FADE TO:

EXT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, DRIVEWAY - DAY

Lorelai sits on the runner of her Jeep outside a large, imposing house.

CUT TO:

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, FRONT DOOR - DAY

The door opening from the inside of the house. Lorelai is standing on the porch.

LORELAI
Hi, Mom.

EMILY
Lorelai, my goodness, this is a surprise. Is it Easter already?

LORELAI
(laughs nervously)
No, I just, uh, finished up my business class and I thought I would stop by.

EMILY
To see me?

LORELAI
Yes.

EMILY
Well, isn't that nice. Come in.

LORELAI
Thanks.

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

Lorelai and Emily walk to the living room.

LORELAI
The place looks great.

EMILY
It hasn't changed.

LORELAI
Well, there you go. How are the girls at the bridge club?

EMILY
Old.

LORELAI
Well... good.

Emily and Lorelai take seats opposite each other.

EMILY
You said you were taking a business class?

LORELAI
Yeah, mmhmm, yeah. I'm taking a business class at the college twice a week. I'm sure I told you.

EMILY
Well, if you're sure then you must have.
(long pause)
Would you like some tea?

LORELAI
I would love some coffee.

RICHARD (S.O.)
Emily? I'm home.

EMILY
We're in here.

Richard enters the room.

LORELAI
Hi, Dad.

RICHARD
What is it, Christmas already?

EMILY
Lorelai was taking a business class at the college today and decided to drop in to see us.

RICHARD
What business class?

EMILY
Well, she told us about it, dear, remember?

RICHARD
No.

LORELAI
Well, actually, I came here for a reason. Dad, would you mind sitting down for a minute?

RICHARD
You need money.

LORELAI
I have a situation.

RICHARD
You need money.

LORELAI
Dad, will you just please let me get this out, okay? Um, Rory has been accepted to Chilton.

EMILY
Chilton? Oh, that's a wonderful school. It's only five minutes from here.

LORELAI
That's right, it is. She can start as early as Monday. Um, the problem is that they want me to put down an enrollment fee plus the first semester's tuition, and I have to do that immediately or she loses her spot.

RICHARD
So, you need money.

LORELAI
Yeah. But it's not for me, it's for Rory. And I fully intend to pay you back every cent. I don't ask for favors, you know that.

EMILY
Oh, yes, we know.

RICHARD
I'll get the checkbook.

LORELAI
Thank you. You have no idea. Thank you.

EMILY
On one condition.

LORELAI
(to herself)
So close.

EMILY
Since we are now financially involved in your life, I want to be actively involved in your life.

LORELAI
What does that mean, Mother?

EMILY
I want a weekly dinner.

LORELAI
What?

EMILY
Friday nights, you and Rory will have dinner here.

LORELAI
Mom...

EMILY
And you have to call us once a week to give us an update on her schooling and your life. That's it. That's the condition. If you agree, you'll come to dinner tomorrow night and leave here with a check. Otherwise, I'm sorry, we can't help you.

LORELAI
I don't want her to know that I borrowed money from you. Can that just be between us?

EMILY
Does seven o'clock work for you?

LORELAI
(with a forced smile)
Perfect.

FADE TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: STARS HOLLOW HIGH, HALLWAY - DAY

Rory is cleaning out her locker with Lane.

RORY
And we get to wear uniforms. No more having people check you out to see what jeans you're wearing 'cause everyone's dressed alike in boring clothes and just there to learn.

LANE
Okay, there's academic-minded and then there's Amish.

They start walking down the hallway. Rory is carrying a box full of books and papers.

RORY
Funny.

LANE
Thank you! So I told my mom you're changing schools.

RORY
Was she thrilled?

LANE
The party's on Friday. I gotta go. I have to have a pre-hayride cup of tea with a future doctor. How do I look? Korean?

RORY
Spitting image.

LANE
Good. Bye.

RORY
Bye.

Lane leaves. Rory drops a book and some papers. As she bends down to pick them up, she turns and sees a guy standing right beside her. It's the same guy who watched her and Lane walk into the school a few days earlier.

RORY
God! You're like Ruth Gordon just standing there with a tannis root. Make a noise.

DEAN
Rosemary's Baby.

RORY
Yeah.

DEAN
Well, that's a great movie. You've got good taste. 
(pause)
Are you moving?

RORY
No, just my books are.

DEAN
My family just moved here from Chicago.

RORY
Chicago. Windy. Oprah.

DEAN
Yeah. Yeah, that's the place. I'm Dean.

RORY
Hi. 
(pause)
Oh, Rory. Me. That's -- that's me.

DEAN
Rory.

RORY
Well, Lorelai technically.

DEAN
Lorelai. I like that.

RORY
It's my mother's name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time, you know, so why couldn't women? She says her feminism just kind of took over. Though personally I think a lot of Demerol also went into that decision.
(beat)
I never talk this much.

DEAN
Well, I better go.

RORY
Oh, sure.

DEAN
I have to go look for a job.

RORY
Okay, good.

Dean starts to leave.

RORY
You should check with Miss Patty.

Dean turns back.

DEAN
What?

RORY
About the job. You should check with Miss Patty. She teaches dance. She was actually on Broadway once.

DEAN
I... I don't really dance much.

RORY
No, no, she just kind of knows everything that's going on in town. She'll know if someone's looking.

DEAN
Oh, great. Uh, thanks.
(pause)
Hey, what are you doing now?

RORY
Nothing... much. I should throw this away at some point.

DEAN
Well, maybe you could show me where this Miss Patty's place is.

RORY
Yeah, I guess so. I really don't have anything important to... let's go.

They walk out of the school and down the street. Dean carries Rory's box of books for her.

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: STREET - DAY

DEAN
So, have you lived here all your life?

RORY
Yes. Well, pretty much. I was actually born in Hartford.

DEAN
Well, that's not far.

RORY
Thirty minutes with no traffic.

DEAN
Really?

RORY
I timed it.

DEAN
Okay, then.

They walk past the bakery.

RORY
So, do you like cake?

DEAN
What?

RORY
They make really good cakes here. They're very... round.

DEAN
Okay, I'll remember that.

RORY
Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are.

DEAN
So, how are you liking Moby Dick?

RORY
Oh, it's really good.

DEAN
Yeah?

RORY
Yeah, it's my first Melville.

DEAN
Cool.

RORY
I mean, I know it's kind of cliché to pick Moby Dick as your first Melville but... hey, how did you know I was reading Moby Dick?

DEAN
Uh, well, I've been watching you.

RORY
Watching me?

DEAN
I mean, not in a creepy, like, "I'm watching you" sort of way. I just -- I've noticed you.

RORY
Me?

DEAN
Yeah.

RORY
When?

DEAN
Every day. After school you come out and you sit under that tree there and you read. Last week it was Madame Bovary. This week it's Moby Dick.

RORY
But why would you --

DEAN
Because you're nice to look at, and because you've got unbelievable concentration.

RORY
What?

DEAN
Last Friday these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean, it was a mess, blood everywhere, the nurse came out, the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was all freaking out, and you just sat there and read. I mean, you never even looked up. I thought, "I have never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl."

RORY
Maybe I just didn't look up because I'm unbelievably self-centered.

DEAN
Maybe.
(pause)
But I doubt it.

They smile at each other.

RORY
So, did I ask if you like cake?

DEAN
Yeah, you did.

RORY
Oh. 'Cause they have really good cake back there.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - NIGHT

Rory and Lorelai are sitting quietly at a table.

LORELAI
So, you were late getting home tonight.

RORY
Yeah, I went to the library.

LORELAI
Oh. Oh, I forgot to tell you, we're having dinner with your grandparents tomorrow night.

RORY
We are?

LORELAI
Mmhmm.

RORY
But it's September.

LORELAI
So?

RORY
So what holiday's in September?

LORELAI
Look, it's not a holiday thing. It's just dinner, okay?

RORY
Fine, sorry.

Luke brings their main courses to the table.

LUKE
Red meat can kill you. Enjoy.

Luke leaves.

LORELAI
So, I finished hemming your skirt today.
(long pause)
A grunt of acknowledgment might be nice.

RORY
I don't understand why we're going to dinner tomorrow night. I mean, what if I had plans? You didn't even ask me.

LORELAI
Well, if you had plans I would have known.

RORY
How?

LORELAI
Well, you would have told me.

RORY
I don't tell you everything. I have my own things.

LORELAI
Fine, you have things.

RORY
That's right. I have things.

LORELAI
Hey, I had dibs on being the bitch tonight.

RORY
Just tonight?

LORELAI
What the hell is wrong with you?

RORY
I'm not sure I want to go to Chilton.

LORELAI
What?

RORY
The timing is just really bad.

LORELAI
The timing is bad?

RORY
And the bus ride to and from Hartford, it's like thirty minutes each way.

LORELAI
I can't believe what I'm hearing.

RORY
Plus, I don't think we should be spending that money right now. I mean, I know Chilton's got to be costing you a lot.

LORELAI
Oh, you have no idea.

RORY
All of your money should be going toward buying an inn with Sookie.

LORELAI
What about college? What about Harvard?

RORY
We don't know that I can't get into Harvard if I stay where I am.

LORELAI
Okay, enough. Enough of the crazy talk, okay? I appreciate your concern but I have this covered.

RORY
I still don't want to go.

LORELAI
Why?

RORY
Because I don't.

LORELAI
I have to get out of here.

Lorelai stands up and starts to leave.

RORY
We have to pay first.

Lorelai drops some money on the table and they walk out of the diner. 

CUT TO:

EXT. STARS HOLLOW: STREET - NIGHT

The hayride wagon passes by Lorelai and Rory, with a glum Lane sandwiched between two Korean boys on the back. Miss Patty stands in the doorway of her dance studio watching over a class of little girls.

MISS PATTY
(to the girls)
One-two-three. One-two-three. One-two-three. It's a waltz, ladies. Susie, do you have to tinkle? Then uncross your legs, darling.
(to Rory)
Oh, Rory, good. I think I found a job for your male friend.

LORELAI
What male friend?

MISS PATTY
They need a stock boy at the supermarket. I already talked to Taylor Doose about him. You just send him around tomorrow.

RORY
Okay, thanks.

LORELAI
What male friend?

MISS PATTY
Oh, he's very cute. You have good taste.

Miss Patty turns back to her dance class.

MISS PATTY
Hands in the air, not in the nose.

Rory starts walking quickly down the street, and Lorelai follows her.

LORELAI
Oh, you're gonna have to walk faster than that. You're gonna have to turn into friggin' Flo Jo to get away from me.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, FOYER - NIGHT

Rory enters and slams the front door. Lorelai follows her inside.

LORELAI
This is about a boy, of course. I can't believe I didn't see it. All this talk about money and bus rides. You got a thing going with a guy and you don't want to leave school.

RORY
I'm going to bed.

LORELAI
God, I'm so dense. That should have been my first thought. After all, you're me.

RORY
I'm not you.

LORELAI
Really? Someone willing to throw important life experiences out the window to be with a guy. It sounds like me to me.

RORY
Whatever.

LORELAI
So who is he?

RORY
There's no guy!

LORELAI
Dark hair, romantic eyes? Looks a little dangerous?

RORY
This conversation is over.

LORELAI
Tattoos are good, too!

RORY
I don't want to change schools because of all the reasons I've already told you a thousand times. If you don't want to believe me, that's fine. Goodnight.

Rory goes to her bedroom.

LORELAI
Does he have a motorcycle? 'Cause if you're gonna throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, RORY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Lorelai walks into Rory's bedroom

LORELAI
Well, I think that went pretty well, don't you?

RORY
Thanks for the knock.

LORELAI
Listen, can we just start all over, okay? You tell me all about the guy and I promise not to let my head explode, huh? Rory, please talk to me.
(silence)
Okay, I'll talk. Don't get me wrong. Guys are great. I am a huge fan of guys. You don't get knocked up at sixteen being indifferent to guys. But, babe, guys are always going to be there. This school isn't. It's more important. It has to be more important.

RORY
I'm going to sleep.

LORELAI
Rory. You've always been the sensible one in this house, huh? I need you to remember that feeling now. You will kick your own butt later if you blow this.

RORY
Well, it's my butt.

LORELAI
Good comeback.

RORY
Thank you.

LORELAI
You're welcome. Rory, come on.

RORY
I don't want to talk about this. Could you please, please just leave me alone?

LORELAI
Okay, fine. We always had a democracy in this house. We never did anything unless we both agreed. But now I guess I'm going to have to play the mom card. You are going to Chilton whether you want to or not. Monday morning, you will be there, end of story.

RORY
We'll see.

LORELAI
Yeah, we will.

Lorelai slams the door on her way out. Rory turns on her CD player. Macy Gray's "I Try" plays. 

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LORELAI'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Lorelai turns on the same song and lies down on the couch.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, KITCHEN - DAY

There is smoke coming out of the broken stove as some workers start to remove it. Sookie sits sadly at the counter.

SOOKIE
I swear I don't know what happened.

LORELAI
It's not important.

SOOKIE
I made that dish a hundred times. It never exploded.

LORELAI
Please, forget it.

SOOKIE
Oh, God, I killed a Viking. Oh, you should fire me, or make me pay the cost of a new stove out of my paycheck.

LORELAI
Well, whatever you want.

SOOKIE
I can't afford a new stove! Those things are expensive.

LORELAI
Sookie, please, I am begging you, pull yourself together, okay? I got no sleep last night and I think I put my contacts in backwards.

SOOKIE
Rory's still mad at you, huh?

LORELAI
Hey, I'm not so crazy about her either.

SOOKIE
It was a fight. Mothers and daughters fight.

LORELAI
No, we don't fight. We never fight.

Michel walks in.

MICHEL
You told me to tell you when your daughter arrived. Well, she's here and she's sitting in my chair.

LORELAI
(to Sookie)
Hold on just a minute.

Lorelai leaves.

MICHEL
And you are the one left standing. That is a funny, funny thing, no?

INT. STARS HOLLOW: INDEPENDENCE INN, LOBBY - DAY

In the lobby, Lorelai walks up to Rory at the front desk.

LORELAI
Hey, no muumuu today. You know what's weird, I kind of miss it.

RORY
You left me a note to meet you here.

LORELAI
Yeah, I thought you might want to work a couple hours, make a little extra cash.

RORY
Fine.

LORELAI
Aw, you're not gonna give me the "Mommy Dearest" treatment forever, are ya?

RORY
You wanted me here, I'm here. Should I do something or what?

LORELAI
Yeah, go home. Dinner's at seven. Be ready to go.

RORY
Fine.

LORELAI
Fine.

Rory leaves. Michel walks over and sits in his chair.

MICHEL
Ah, my chair.

CUT TO:

EXT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, FRONT DOOR - NIGHT

Lorelai and Rory stand on the front porch staring at the door.

RORY
So, do we go in or do we just stand here reenacting The Little Match Girl?

LORELAI
Okay, look, I know you and me are having a thing here and I know you hate me but I need you to be civil, at least through dinner and then on the way home you can pull a Menendez. Deal?

RORY
Fine.

Lorelai rings the doorbell.

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, FOYER - NIGHT

Emily opens the door.

RORY
Hi, Grandma.

EMILY
Well, you're right on time.

LORELAI
Yeah, yeah, no traffic at all.

they walk inside

EMILY
I can't tell you what a treat it is to have you girls here.

LORELAI
Oh, well, we're excited, too.

EMILY
Is that a collector's cup or can I throw it away for you?

LORELAI
Oh.

Lorelai starts to toss her empty coffee cup into a nearby wastebasket.

EMILY
In the kitchen, please. 
(to Rory) So, I want to hear all about Chilton.

RORY
Well, I haven't actually started yet.

As Rory and Emily walk away, Lorelai drops the cup into the wastebasket. 

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Richard is reading a newspaper. Rory and Emily walk in.

EMILY
Richard, look who's here.

RICHARD
Rory. You're tall.

RORY
I guess.

RICHARD
Well, what's your height?

RORY
5'7".

RICHARD
That's tall. She's tall.

Lorelai enters.

LORELAI
Hi, Dad.

RICHARD
Lorelai, your daughter's tall.

LORELAI
Oh, I know. It's freakish. We're thinking of having her studied at M.I.T.

RICHARD
Ah. 

He returns to reading his paper.

EMILY
Champagne, anyone?

LORELAI
Oh, that's fancy.

EMILY
Well, it's not every day that I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open. A toast - to Rory entering Chilton and an exciting new phase in her life.

RICHARD
Here, here.

EMILY
Mmm. Well, let's sit everyone. This is just wonderful. An education is the most important thing in the world, next to family.

LORELAI
And pie. 

Silence.

LORELAI
Joke, joke.

EMILY
Ah.

There is a long silence. Richard hands Rory a section of the newspaper.

CUT TO:

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT

They're all sitting at the table eating dinner.

EMILY
Rory, how do you like the lamb?

RORY
It's good.

EMILY
Too dry?

RORY
No, it's perfect.

LORELAI
Potatoes could use a little salt, though.

EMILY
Excuse me?

RORY
So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?

RICHARD
Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.

LORELAI
Well, at least you have your new slogan.

RICHARD
And how are things at the motel?

LORELAI
The inn? They're great.

EMILY
Lorelai's the executive manager now. Isn't that wonderful?

RICHARD
Speaking of which, Christopher called yesterday.

LORELAI
Speaking of which? How is that a speaking of which?

RICHARD
He's doing very well in California. His Internet start-up goes public next month. This could mean big things for him. 
(to Rory)
Very talented man, your father.

LORELAI
She knows.

RICHARD
He always was a smart one, that boy. 
(to Rory)
You must take after him.

LORELAI
Speaking of which, I'm gonna get a Coke. Or a knife.

Lorelai storms out of the room and goes into the kitchen.

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

Lorelai starts scrubbing a dish in the sink. The maid comes in and looks at her.

LORELAI
Hi, how are you doing?

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT

RORY
I think I'm gonna go talk to her--

EMILY
No, I'll go. You stay and keep your grandfather company.

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

Emily enters the kitchen.

EMILY
Lorelai, come back to the table.

LORELAI
Is this what it's gonna be like every Friday night? I come over and let the two of you attack me?

EMILY
You're being very dramatic.

LORELAI
Dramatic? Were you at that table just now?

EMILY
Yes, I was, and I think you took what your father said the wrong way.

LORELAI
The wrong way? How could I have taken it the wrong way? What was open to interpretation?

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Richard and Rory are able to overhear Lorelai and Emily arguing.

EMILY (O.S.)
Keep your voice down.

LORELAI (O.S.)
No, Mother. I can't take it anymore. Tonight just seems like a nightmare.

EMILY (O.S.)
You're dripping all over the floor.

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

LORELAI
Why do you pounce on every single thing I say?

EMILY
That's absurd. You barely uttered a word all night.

LORELAI
That's not true.

EMILY
You said "pie".

LORELAI
Oh, come on.

EMILY
You did. All I heard you say was "pie".

LORELAI
Why would he bring up Christopher? Was that really necessary?

EMILY
He likes Christopher.

LORELAI
Isn't that interesting? Because, as I remember, when Christopher got me pregnant, Dad didn't like him so much.

EMILY
Oh, well, please, you were sixteen. What were we supposed to do - throw you a party? We were disappointed. The two of you had such bright futures.

LORELAI
Yes. And by not getting married we got to keep those bright futures.

EMILY
When you get pregnant, you get married. A child needs a mother and a father.

LORELAI
Oh, Mom. Do you think that Christopher would have his own company right now if we'd gotten married? Do you think he would be anything at all?

EMILY
Yes, I do. Your father would have put him in the insurance business and you'd be living a lovely life right now.

LORELAI
He didn't want to be in the insurance business and I am living a lovely life right now.

EMILY
That's right, far away from us.

LORELAI
Oh, here we go.

EMILY
You took that girl and completely shut us out of your life.

LORELAI
You wanted to control me.

EMILY
You were still a child.

LORELAI
I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink, okay? I had to figure out how to live. I found a good job.

EMILY
As a maid. With all your brains and talent.

LORELAI
I worked my way up. I run the place now. I built a life on my own with no help from anyone.

EMILY
Yes, and think of where you would have been if you'd accepted a little help, hmm? And where Rory would have been. But no, you were always too proud to accept anything from anyone.

LORELAI
Well, I wasn't too proud to come here to you two begging for money for my kid's school, was I?

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Rory overhears the conversation.

EMILY (S.O.)
No, you certainly weren't. But you're too proud to let her know where you got it from, aren't you?

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

EMILY
Well, fine, you have your precious pride and I have my weekly dinners. Isn't that nice? We both win.

INT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Back at the table, Richard is asleep in his chair.

CUT TO:

EXT. HARTFORD: ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE, FRONT DOOR - NIGHT

Lorelai and Rory walk out of the house. Lorelai sighs and leans against the outside wall.

RORY
Mom?

LORELAI
I'm okay. I just... do I look shorter? 'Cause I feel shorter.

RORY
Hey, how 'bout I buy you a cup of coffee?

LORELAI
Oh, yeah. You drive, though, okay, 'cause I don't think my feet will reach the pedals.

CUT TO:

INT. STARS HOLLOW: LUKE'S, DINER - NIGHT

Lorelai and Rory walk toward Luke's Diner.

RORY
So, nice dinner at the grandparents' house.

LORELAI
Oh, yeah, her dishes have never been cleaner.

RORY
You and Grandma seemed to have a nice talk.

LORELAI
How much did you hear?

RORY
Not much. You know, snippets.

LORELAI
Snippets?

RORY
Little snippets.

LORELAI
So basically everything?

RORY
Basically, yes.

LORELAI
Well, the best laid plans.

They walk into the diner and sit at a table

RORY
I think it was really brave of you to ask them for money.

LORELAI
Oh, I so do not want to talk about it.

RORY
How many meals is it gonna take 'til we're off the hook?

LORELAI
I think the deli spread at my funeral will be the last one.
(pause)
Hey, wait, does that mean...

RORY
Can't let a perfectly good plaid skirt go to waste.

LORELAI
Oh, honey, you won't be sorry.

Luke walks up to the table dressed in a button-down shirt

LORELAI
Wow, you look nice. Really nice.

LUKE
I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.

LORELAI
I had a flagellation to go to.

LUKE
So, what'll you have?

LORELAI
Coffee, in a vat.

RORY
I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.

LUKE
That's quite a refined palate you got there.

Luke walks away.

LORELAI
Behold the healing powers of a bath. So, tell me about the guy.

RORY
You know what's really special about our relationship? The total understanding about the need for one's privacy. I mean, you really understand boundaries.

LORELAI
So tell me about the guy.

RORY
Mom!

LORELAI
Is he dreamy?

RORY
Oh, that's so Nick at Night.

LORELAI
Well, I'm gonna find out anyway.

RORY
Really? How?

LORELAI
I'll spy.

Luke returns with their order.

LUKE
Coffee... fries. I can't stand it. This is so unhealthy. Rory, please, put down that cup of coffee. You do not want to grow up to be like your mom.

RORY
Sorry, too late.

Rory and Lorelai smile at each other. Luke walks away.

LORELAI
So tell me about the guy.

RORY
Check, please.

LORELAI
No, really, are you embarrassed to bring him home?

RORY
I'm not embarrassed.

LORELAI
Does he talk at all?

RORY
No, Mom, he's a mime.

>_END OF SHOW_<